dolly1

Hi has any one been down the court route for permission to go to Austraila and won , when the child has a good relationship with the Ex.
Thanks Dolly

teach

Hiya,

One of my boys at school has, to go to Canada. Dad was all for it at first then when he realised that mum was actually going for it he changed his mind. She had to take him to court. At the court hearing she presented her case for leaving and also a detailed plan of how much access dad could have. Get a good family law solicitor and you should be ok. They are off at the end of the month so it is possible.

Best wishes
Sarah

Sandy.l

Just a word of warning; my husband had a great relationship with his daughter until his wife took her to Australia. Unfortunately, his ex has done all she can to destroy the relationship since. We're sure it will all turn out okay when she is old enough to make her own decisions.

Make sure you do everything you can to stay on friendly terms with your ex for your childs sake, and support as much contact as possible.

sandy

dolly1

hi thanks for your replys.
Good to know that soeone has been sucsessful

( think that this is turnoing into my obsession !!!!!!!!!)
Dolly

KathDore

I think it is too Dolly

I hope it all goes well for you Im sure your one the winning side!!!

Good luck


Kath

bettytweena

Hi Dolly,
This is not so much an obsession as a panic attack! This whole court business is just another element in the 'how much stress can you take' stakes!
My solicitor said that the only way the courts will rule AGAINST removal is if the child actually states that it does not wish to go (dependent on age), otherwise, it will assess the case point by point.....for every issue you put forward for going, your ex must put forward a valid arguement for not etc etc. Apparently, it is extremely hard for ex's who oppose moves to actually win if you have visited the country with your child you intend to move to, and have researched all aspects of your new life which will be pertinent to your child (e.g. schools, after school activities, where you will live etc). Our solicitor also said we needed to explain how any activities/ clubs that our son was a member of etc now would be carried on when we move............ultimately, you are your childs mum...what more can I say! (no disrespect to any father as main carers out there!!) You sound like a top mum, a credit to any child, and i am sure that the CAFcass officer/ court will see this........truth & honour will prevail!!!
Go girl, go girl, go girl.............

LetsFlyAway

Hi Dolly,

I'm taking my son to NZ in June and my ex was very angry at first. This lasted a week, then he realised he would no longer have to maintain him.

I have promised regular contact etc. and now he can't wait to see the back of us!!!!

dolly1

your a star thanks for the suppourt X Dolly

bettytweena

No, your the star for trying to get a better life for your child.
Keep thinking rationally.......the courts will not take your child from you, so if you move and the child doesn't, the emotional damage of being without the mother would be immense, on the other hand, separation from the father would still be upsetting, but not in comparison to the amount of disruption caused by separation from the mother (and primary carer).
Bowlby would have a lot to say about all this!!!

dolly1

who???

Sandy.l

I'm not sure how it might differ for NZ, but my Husband pays CSA payments through Aus CSA. It's the minimum payment (about $21) but this was instigated by his ex, and we were assessed correctly. Plus we pay all phone calls, money for photo's, we are lucky if she will spare the price of a stamp to maintain contact with us (she probably takes that out of the photo money we send). Hubbie's quite happy to do this by the way as it proves in some way that he is still her father.

So it might be worth looking into this if you want to give him a shock!

sandy

dolly1

thanks - keep the ideas rolling- i will need al the ammunition I can get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dolly

loose

I dont know your own situation but I have to disagree with you here.

Fathers have bugger all rights and it annoys me. You say your child has a good relationship with your ex, and you are obviousley a good mother, but this move is your decision, your choice.

Dont get mad, I'm just going from the little I've read, but this is you putting what you want before your ex, and possibly your child. People use the "better life for my kid" line, but is it that bad for them now?

Sorry if I'm not telling you what you want to hear, but this "you go girl" nonsense is out of order.

dolly1

I hear what your saying- each person to thier own .Im all for gaining informed choices & experiences that others have had.
there are 2 sides to each story as you say.
Dolly

Sandy.l

I definitely have to agree with you here.

As an individual, my step-daughter has a much improved lifestyle in Australia, however as she is estranged from her birth father (against his wishes) and her paternal family, she has a very one-sided view (basically her mothers) on what her real dad is like. Our family as a whole are not in touch with her, as this has not been encouraged by her mother. I'm afraid, parenting during a 10 minute conversation every fortnight is impossible. This is one (and only one) of the reasons we have made the decision to go to Oz. We may well be able to repair some of the damage already created by the distance and the lack of interest from her mother, or we may make it worse. Time will tell.

That's why I'm always on these threads hoping that at least some people understand it from the other view point, i.e the estranged parent.

sandy