mickagnew

The other half has the difficult situation of leaving children 22 & 24 behind when we hopefully get to Oz later this year, it is beginning to weigh on her shoulders as you would expect and I can see that it may be a problem when crunch time comes. We will be going with our 2 youngest who are 9 & 11. This is a great opportunity for us all and maybe the older ones will come in time, but I know it will be good for the young uns and us. Does anyone have a similar experience to share on this one as I think i may need some tips in months to come.

Mick

Anne4Terry

We are going out in a month with our 13 year old son but are leaving behind a 26 year old son, a 24 year old daughter and a 20 year old son. They all have partners and are very happy and settled but that doesn't stop me from hoping that they will follow us over one day.

Although I love them all equally, I am having more trouble leaving our daughter. It is a mother daughter thing, also she got married just over a year ago and i know that I won't be around as she starts a family Thing is, we have now reached the cut off age for the visa so it was a case of now or never.

I could rattle on about this for hours so if your wife would like to pm me to chat about it, then that is fine. I will probably only just agree with her though about how awful it is, but I still feel we are doing the right thing.

Anne x

mick & Julia

Hi Mick
We came to Oz last October bringing our 17 year old daughter with us and leaving behind 2 sons aged 25 and 24. I can honestly say it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I miss them loads but we are in constant contact, phone, email etc. The younger one is joining us soon when he gets his visa and the older one hasnt decided yet. I'm hoping to sell the idea to him when he comes on holiday. Throughout the build up to us leaving I had to force myself to stay strong and focused knowing that we were doing the right thing in the long term and this was a fantastic opportunity. We have no regrets and even though xmas was tough it is getting easier. I thought we were selfish to leave them but kids grow up and lead their own lives and I dont think they would have thanked us for giving up on our dream because we didnt want to leave them. Its not an easy thing to do. Good luck, lots of tissues needed.
Julia

Anne4Terry

When we were having problems actually getting our visa, our son in law remarked to our daughter that it would be great because we might not be able to go (he loves us). But she replied that although she was going to miss us terribly, she really wanted us to get the visa and go as it has been something that we have talked about for so long.

As a family we have been through an awful lot of traumas, including the death of a daughter and the near deaths of two of our other children, and everyone agrees that it is about time that things went right for us. I know that our children will miss us, but ultimately they are happy and that is my biggest dream.

mickagnew

Thanks Anne

Its her daughter that she is most worried about also, will get her to PM you and perhaps you can have a chinwag to share the worries so as to speak.

Thanks

Mick

mickagnew

Thanks Julia

Its always very difficult with things like this and good to share the experiences, good or bad.

Mick

cheechee

Hi
Am in a similar situation my boys are 21 & 24 both still living at home, oldest lad is in a relationship but not sure if its a long term thing. My big problem is that youngest lad is diabetic and it weighs heavy on me, I am just about to apply for my spouse visa, my partner is an Ausie and we dont have a definite time frame to moving there although we know that the clock will be ticking once I get my visa. Alot depends on my boys, I would give it a go tomorrow but its sorting them out, neither has shown any interest in coming with me although the eldest lad yesterday threw me when I let him know I was about to start the process with my application by saying he was "open to the idea" of Australia . The youngest not the most talkative at the best of times just says "no" and "want to stay here" so alot of where I am going depends on where they are going with there lives, which at the moment doesn't seem to be anywhere . The emotional strain is at best hard and I know I have no answers for yourselves or even myself it's a comfort to know that you are not alone with this. All I can add is that I have just returned from a month in Aus and although I missed them I made good use of the cheap phone cards available and the internet with webcam, even got to watch them opening there christmas presents, this was my first taster and I am glad I did it. It gave me a little bit more insight into Aus and I have to say that I know it would take some getting used to but I also know that I truly want to give it a go, wish I could make my boys see that there is more to this world than the small place we live in and that the world holds a host of opportunities just waiting for them to experience before deciding that this is where they want to be for the rest of their lives.
Good luck and keep us upto date with how things are going

Chee

mickagnew

Thanks for that and good luck with it whatever way you decide to go.

Mick

Wendy

I am leaving my 18 year old son behind, he wants to finish his A levels then go to Hull University,

I am rather worried about it but we have talked it through between us and he is quite happy for us to go. Also it opens up a whole new range of opportunities for him once he has finished his studies, as he will always have the choice of following us out there if he wishes.

It's an extremely difficult situation to be in, but my way of thinking is that I have to do the best I can for ALL of us. I can't force my eldest to come with us, but I do have two other kids and ourselves to think about.

I will be in constant contact with him and I have my brother and Mother In Law here to look out for him.

At the end of the day, they are only a telephone call away.

mand8002

My 20 yr old daughter is working in France at the moment and my 16yr old daughter is still at school in UK as wanted to finish A levels. They both have their visas in their passport which gives me some confidence that they will come over. I am not sure what we will do if they don't as it does not feel right leaving them behind but they were happy for us to come as they want that option there too.

Anne4Terry

I'm so glad to see I am not the only one on this. It is really hard leaving your children, but I do often think that they are adults now and if in a year or twos time they have decided to go and live in Spain, Canada, whatever, we would be stuffed as it would be too late for us.

Am I being selfish?

Sam

God i so wish i could give you karma! you are so nice and caring anne despite yours!
Go and have that good life that you so deserve! the sun has finally smiled!

ozzymaz

Hi Mick

Know exactly how you feel-have 2 sons Chris 30 and Jamie 20 years old.
Chris is married and lives in Wales with his wife Kath and my two georgeus grandsons Joel aged 6 and Evan aged 2. My partner Paul and I are planning to go to Perth around June/July (all going well!!!) and I can honestly say that there is not a day goes by without me thinking WHAT AM I DOING!!!!
I have always had a dream to go to OZ and now I think it is my turn to live my dream-I am lucky in that Paul is a bit younger than me(toyboy ) so we are able to go (hopefully) and I know in my heart that if we did'nt take this chance we would always regret it and lets face it what is the worst that could happen.........we would'nt like it and come back. My oldest son Chris is right behind me (he just wants somewhere different to go for his holidays ) and Jamie is mid-way through his apprenticeship as a Deisel Fitter and when I told him how much he cold earn in Oz once he was qualified.......I dont think he will hesitate to give it a try as soon as he can.
So hopefully I wont be short of visitors once we get there



Marlyn