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Guilt of leaving behind your parents

Guilt of leaving behind your parents

Old Mar 21st 2019, 11:00 am
  #46  
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Default Re: Guilt of leaving behind your parents

Originally Posted by OZZYOZZY View Post
Thanks everyone for the messages on this topic.
I am not thinking about not going as I want this so desperately. Last night my husband popped round to see his parents about something and his mum started going on about it again, throwing in the huge emotional blackmail excuses and have said they are changing their will and how your sister is going to be dreadfully upset that your going back, how can you leave those gorgeous grandchildren, you've got a great job here, your pension etc....
I just went to bed as didn't want to discuss it but I was not at all happy. Our parents are making the situation unbearable for us (apart from my father in law, he just stays quiet but doesn't go on). So the blackmail continues.......I think my husband would just not go so he doesn't upset everyone. He will be the cookie that crumbles in the end.

Feeling very upset at the moment.
It's a Catch-22 though surely, as now that have kicked up such a fuss about you going and would see you not take the opportunity, then the relationship is injured anyway.

My dad definitely did not want us to go. Both times. He never said though, to his credit.
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Old Mar 21st 2019, 12:07 pm
  #47  
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Default Re: Guilt of leaving behind your parents

Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit View Post
It's a Catch-22 though surely, as now that have kicked up such a fuss about you going and would see you not take the opportunity, then the relationship is injured anyway.

My dad definitely did not want us to go. Both times. He never said though, to his credit.
Exactly . No one who loves their children WANTS them to move to the other side of the world. Being a parent means you hVe to let your kids fly. In the same way as an adult you shouldn’t expect your parents to stay.

Works both ways. Some parents expect kids to look after them and some kids expect parents to look after their kids. Only good if it is genuinely mutual. I see people use their parents as free childminders and cleaners but do not then care to look after them when they require it.
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Old Mar 22nd 2019, 12:45 am
  #48  
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Default Re: Guilt of leaving behind your parents

Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit View Post
It's a Catch-22 though surely, as now that have kicked up such a fuss about you going and would see you not take the opportunity, then the relationship is injured anyway.

My dad definitely did not want us to go. Both times. He never said though, to his credit.
Wise head. Young shoulders.

Neither did my rascal of a Dad . On reflection, I wish he had spoken but looking back it was there in his eyes and actions. I just did not (perhaps wish) to see it. He was not one for emotive words and actions but he was much more of a thinker than I realised. That man pecked me on the cheek when I left for New Zealand. I came to realise that it told me everything.

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Old Mar 22nd 2019, 4:27 am
  #49  
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Default Re: Guilt of leaving behind your parents

Originally Posted by BEVS View Post
Wise head. Young shoulders.

Neither did my rascal of a Dad . On reflection, I wish he had spoken but looking back it was there in his eyes and actions. I just did not (perhaps wish) to see it. He was not one for emotive words and actions but he was much more of a thinker than I realised. That man pecked me on the cheek when I left for New Zealand. I came to realise that it told me everything.
Alas, not so young these days - a decade passes so quickly!

Yes, I am haunted by the bear hug my dad gave me. Going to see him soon though - first trip back in six years soon! And solo, woo hoo!

ETA: just seen my join date - not a decade but TWELVE years
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