Professional Princess

You know, Abdel and I were talking the other day that we haven't got a decent local pub near us.

The one rather nice pub we did have, was taken over by the gypsies and I for one, would rather stay in with a bottle of wine than venture on to the Bronx

So what constitutes a decent pub? I mean, there are pubs all over the world aren't there?

I have heard people say that Aussie pubs cannot rival a British pub and I suppose there could be something in that.

So what makes a good British Pub?

It's your 'local', it's the place where you walk in and everyone knows your name, cliche but true.

The regulars have their own seat, they will always sit there and heaven forbid that a newcomer should walk in and sit on old Bill's' seat.

'You can't sit there mate, Bill sits there' The barman would reply, the bar in silence waiting for the newcomer to move.

Newcomers are usually called 'mate' although the term is used loosely until they prove themselves as a 'regular'.

There is always the resident piss head too. The one that the bar staff and management know and keep an eye on.

'Bert has had too much, call him a taxi' Bar staff will say. Because they know when he has gone from pissed to blind drunk.

They are quite amazing the staff of a local pub. They not only know when you have had quite enough to drink, but they also know when you are in need of one too.

'Hard day at work?' Bar staff will ask, and they just know it's a hard day at work too.

They know when a man is trying to 'avoid the wife' for whatever reason and always provide the alibi for him. 'No Mrs Jones, he is not here', they say loyally as Mr Jones is propping up the bar lovingly nursing his pint of bitter.

The bar staff can always be relied upon to smile and provide light banter. The girls accept the fact that the testosterone filled young men or the dirty 'not getting enough at home' older guys, will leer at their tits.

But as long as they don't touch, well that should be OK.

You have your 'resident hero' in your local. That is the person that keeps an eye out for trouble makers. When someone usually a stranger, gets a bit wild and aggressive, 'resident here' will throw them out of the pub and always get a free pint.

Your local pub is really a 'home from home'. It is usually decorated in floral wallpaper, or that purple/wine colour and cream.

With pattern printed chairs or red leather ones with gold studs going round the edge.

There is a permanent smell of beer and fags and the curtains are stained yellow.

Yet it is the place where people really do treat it as their second home.

It is the place where nervous young men will propose to their girlfriends, which is met by cheers and 'drinks on the house' from the landlord.

It is the place where pregnancies are announced when you get couples announce they are having a baby. And nine months later, this is celebrated by the regulars and Christening parties can follow suit.

Your local pub sees many a birthday party, hen party, retirement party and plays a significant part in all life stages of various people.

My Grandad was a landlord and his old pub even sent the flowers in the shape of a pint glass to his funeral when he died.

It shares in the emotions of everyone and people will pull together in a way which is to be marvelled. Collections, sponsorships, football matches to name a few, are things organised by your local.

Whenever there is a big football match on TV such as the World Cup, you can bet your life the pub will turn into a nursery for men.

Hardly any women will be there, and the blokes will huddle round the big screen, clutching their beers and scoffing pie and chips whilst the landlord 'looks after his punters' and gets in extra staff to cope.

Grown men will cry when goals are scored and there is no sound quite like a heaving pub when a goal is scored. They may shout at the screen and wave their fist in the air for a missed penalty, but their landlord knows them and doesn't fear the noise.

It's the place where some people use for company if they live on their own. It's the first port of call after work when they sit in 'their chair/bar stool' and they have 'their favourite drink'.

So at what point does a newcomer become a regular? You know when you have become a regular when you walk up to the bar and the barman knows your name and has your drink waiting for you.

'Mate' is replaced by your name and if you're really lucky, someone moves off the stool/chair to let you sit there, because they have noticed that you always sit there even if you haven't yourself.

A local pub is the place where when you walk past it, you hear laughing, clinking of glasses and music and on hearing that, you have an urge to go inside because it really does from the outside, seem that welcoming.

In the winter, it will have an open fire where the pub becomes so nice, you could almost sleep there. As for Christmas, well a local pub with its Christmas decorations is a marvellous sight even for the 'scrooges' amongst us.

It really is a place where you feel comfortable and relaxed, almost like you would in your own home.

I love the old Tudor style pubs, where the tiny little windows and pink lighting from the outside, low beam doors with the old wooden sign moving in the wind.

And no matter how busy it is, there is always room for one more 'mate' to come in and in time, become a 'regular'.

Yes, they can build pubs the way they do in the UK and put them in every country in the world.

But there is really something quite magical about our pubs that I believe cannot be replicated.

And I for one when I move to Australia, will miss it dearly.

Here's to the Great British Pub.

Professional Princess

Look what I found!

For those missing their pub in the UK.

Wave the Sails

I have missed the great British pub since I had kids

Xgeminix

In Northbridge, Perth, you can get toasty by the log fire!!

Professional Princess

There is something about prawn cocktail crisps washed down by a half a lager, cant beat it.

Professional Princess

Alot more pubs in England are getting child friendly now.

Although I think there should be family areas where you cant smoke, I know if I had kids, I would never bring them into a smokey environment.

renth

I like a good pub but if you are a "regular" it's bloody expensive.

Professional Princess

Not for me, I am a lightweight.

hawk2005

Uk pubs are way overrated - dingy smoky chintzy places selling overpriced identikit beers, serving stodgy microwaved food & playing crap music all the time.

The only times UK pubs were halfway decent is in the summer and thats because you don't have to sit inside them.

Professional Princess

Not all British pubs are like that, it depends where you go.

Maybe in the West End perhaps, its a bit conveyor belt in its approach, but I do know my brother does not serve microwaved food and identikit beers, his ales and beer have been featured in the Good pub guide.

Perhaps larger organisations without naming them could fall into the category you have mentioned.

But there are still loads of pubs out there that pride themselves on their beer, food and hospitality.

bridiej

20, maybe even as recently as 10 years ago I'd agree with you, but the majority of pubs these days are bright clean, little smoke and child friendly.

gobbyjock

Yep PP have to agree with you - some of the dingier looking pubs can actually be better than the smart modern types. A good local pub for me is one that you walk in and they pour you your usual without even asking

Miked

The only good thing about Brit pubs is the Beer. most of them are now overated and overpriced, you get served by a spotty teenage geek with attitude who short changes you before serving you with a crap head and a short measure.

Give me a BBQ and a 4X anyday.

gobbyjock

Rubbish you still have loads of good pubs around.

Professional Princess

What I would give to be off this pissing crutch with a normal leg and within walking distance of a decent pub.

I love those country pubs with a good beer garden.