Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Feb 16th 2005, 6:12 am
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Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
O.K. Please bear with me because I am not one who normally opens their heart on a forum. I am not 100% sure where this will go either. My partner is Australian. He never really wanted to come back to Oz - too many unhappy family memories but I was keen. We have been an item 16 years and we have two smashing adopted little boys. I had a very sucessful business in London and we lived around the corner so it took me five minutes to get to work. We lived in Marylebone Village which was lively - lots of cafes, shops and easy walking distance to anywhere in the West End. I had work collegues with whom I was on good terms. There was usally someone around to have a coffee with and a laugh. Our kids school was round the corner and there were regular school "discos" which were more like drinking nights for the parents and teachers while the kids were supervised! Despite being in a same sex relationship we were accepted. My only gripe about the area was that it was difficult to get to know neighbours in central London and when not working, one could at times feel a bit isolated and reserved. I guess I am still basically a friendly lad from England's N.E. despite the posh W1 address. So I had thought for some time that Australia would be more laid back, more friendly, more neigbourly (watched too many episodes of bloody neighbours)and a better place to raise the kids rather than London's West end.
We are in one Sidney's forrested subburbs on the Northern Beaches. We have been renting my sister-in-laws house for the last three months. She lives else where. I introduced myself to most of the neigbours in our small street before Christmas but I have not had an opportunity to even say hello to anyone since. It is a quiet neighbourhood. At least that is what I assume. Except my sister in law, who is perhaps not being terribly helpful feeds us back messages from these unknown and unseen neighbours that they do not like our boys playing in the street and doing this or doing that. I have tried to be patient and suggested that she ask the neigbours to speak to us directly.
It is quite off putting to think that neighbours are having conversations about one's family behind one's back. So that is grip 1 & 2
Grip 3 is that I never really envisaged living in Sydney. We had both hoped that we might have been able to buy a caravan park. (We are both keen caravanners and we thought the kids would also love the life syle). We wanted to be within a forty minute drive or ith Sydney or Melbourn or Brisbane. We did all the brokerage bit but have drawn a blank and to be honest we are feeling pretty cut off now so we are now anxious about moving further away from a city - which at least we are used to. It also looks as if the caravan park idea is a bit of a dead duck. The good areas are just outside of our price range and do not appear very viable.
I am sure that people mean well (Well my sister in law to be precise) when she says we are living inthe wrong area but the last thing I really want to do is move back into a city! I like the comparative space and the greenery and the beaches but I don't like the lack of neighbourliness. The boys are happy enough in their school, although we have some doubts about whether there will be the same sort of support (special needs) that they got from their school in London, but hey do not complain and when asked which school they prefer, they say this one. So that brings up the question of moving the children again. They do need some stability. I have bean to join a couple of organisations and they are in town. Are we just stuffed or is there somwhere out there that we might feel at home and within a budget of 7 -800K :scared: Thanks for reading this and I would really appreciate any constructive feed back.
We are in one Sidney's forrested subburbs on the Northern Beaches. We have been renting my sister-in-laws house for the last three months. She lives else where. I introduced myself to most of the neigbours in our small street before Christmas but I have not had an opportunity to even say hello to anyone since. It is a quiet neighbourhood. At least that is what I assume. Except my sister in law, who is perhaps not being terribly helpful feeds us back messages from these unknown and unseen neighbours that they do not like our boys playing in the street and doing this or doing that. I have tried to be patient and suggested that she ask the neigbours to speak to us directly.
It is quite off putting to think that neighbours are having conversations about one's family behind one's back. So that is grip 1 & 2
Grip 3 is that I never really envisaged living in Sydney. We had both hoped that we might have been able to buy a caravan park. (We are both keen caravanners and we thought the kids would also love the life syle). We wanted to be within a forty minute drive or ith Sydney or Melbourn or Brisbane. We did all the brokerage bit but have drawn a blank and to be honest we are feeling pretty cut off now so we are now anxious about moving further away from a city - which at least we are used to. It also looks as if the caravan park idea is a bit of a dead duck. The good areas are just outside of our price range and do not appear very viable.
I am sure that people mean well (Well my sister in law to be precise) when she says we are living inthe wrong area but the last thing I really want to do is move back into a city! I like the comparative space and the greenery and the beaches but I don't like the lack of neighbourliness. The boys are happy enough in their school, although we have some doubts about whether there will be the same sort of support (special needs) that they got from their school in London, but hey do not complain and when asked which school they prefer, they say this one. So that brings up the question of moving the children again. They do need some stability. I have bean to join a couple of organisations and they are in town. Are we just stuffed or is there somwhere out there that we might feel at home and within a budget of 7 -800K :scared: Thanks for reading this and I would really appreciate any constructive feed back.
Feb 16th 2005, 6:25 am
#2
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Originally Posted by Ian12
O.K. Please bear with me because I am not one who normally opens their heart on a forum. I am not 100% sure where this will go either. My partner is Australian. He never really wanted to come back to Oz - too many unhappy family memories but I was keen. We have been an item 16 years and we have two smashing adopted little boys. I had a very sucessful business in London and we lived around the corner so it took me five minutes to get to work. We lived in Marylebone Village which was lively - lots of cafes, shops and easy walking distance to anywhere in the West End. I had work collegues with whom I was on good terms. There was usally someone around to have a coffee with and a laugh. Our kids school was round the corner and there were regular school "discos" which were more like drinking nights for the parents and teachers while the kids were supervised! Despite being in a same sex relationship we were accepted. My only gripe about the area was that it was difficult to get to know neighbours in central London and when not working, one could at times feel a bit isolated and reserved. I guess I am still basically a friendly lad from England's N.E. despite the posh W1 address. So I had thought for some time that Australia would be more laid back, more friendly, more neigbourly (watched too many episodes of bloody neighbours)and a better place to raise the kids rather than London's West end.
We are in one Sidney's forrested subburbs on the Northern Beaches. We have been renting my sister-in-laws house for the last three months. She lives else where. I introduced myself to most of the neigbours in our small street before Christmas but I have not had an opportunity to even say hello to anyone since. It is a quiet neighbourhood. At least that is what I assume. Except my sister in law, who is perhaps not being terribly helpful feeds us back messages from these unknown and unseen neighbours that they do not like our boys playing in the street and doing this or doing that. I have tried to be patient and suggested that she ask the neigbours to speak to us directly.
It is quite off putting to think that neighbours are having conversations about one's family behind one's back. So that is grip 1 & 2
Grip 3 is that I never really envisaged living in Sydney. We had both hoped that we might have been able to buy a caravan park. (We are both keen caravanners and we thought the kids would also love the life syle). We wanted to be within a forty minute drive or ith Sydney or Melbourn or Brisbane. We did all the brokerage bit but have drawn a blank and to be honest we are feeling pretty cut off now so we are now anxious about moving further away from a city - which at least we are used to. It also looks as if the caravan park idea is a bit of a dead duck. The good areas are just outside of our price range and do not appear very viable.
I am sure that people mean well (Well my sister in law to be precise) when she says we are living inthe wrong area but the last thing I really want to do is move back into a city! I like the comparative space and the greenery and the beaches but I don't like the lack of neighbourliness. The boys are happy enough in their school, although we have some doubts about whether there will be the same sort of support (special needs) that they got from their school in London, but hey do not complain and when asked which school they prefer, they say this one. So that brings up the question of moving the children again. They do need some stability. I have bean to join a couple of organisations and they are in town. Are we just stuffed or is there somwhere out there that we might feel at home and within a budget of 7 -800K :scared: Thanks for reading this and I would really appreciate any constructive feed back.
We are in one Sidney's forrested subburbs on the Northern Beaches. We have been renting my sister-in-laws house for the last three months. She lives else where. I introduced myself to most of the neigbours in our small street before Christmas but I have not had an opportunity to even say hello to anyone since. It is a quiet neighbourhood. At least that is what I assume. Except my sister in law, who is perhaps not being terribly helpful feeds us back messages from these unknown and unseen neighbours that they do not like our boys playing in the street and doing this or doing that. I have tried to be patient and suggested that she ask the neigbours to speak to us directly.
It is quite off putting to think that neighbours are having conversations about one's family behind one's back. So that is grip 1 & 2
Grip 3 is that I never really envisaged living in Sydney. We had both hoped that we might have been able to buy a caravan park. (We are both keen caravanners and we thought the kids would also love the life syle). We wanted to be within a forty minute drive or ith Sydney or Melbourn or Brisbane. We did all the brokerage bit but have drawn a blank and to be honest we are feeling pretty cut off now so we are now anxious about moving further away from a city - which at least we are used to. It also looks as if the caravan park idea is a bit of a dead duck. The good areas are just outside of our price range and do not appear very viable.
I am sure that people mean well (Well my sister in law to be precise) when she says we are living inthe wrong area but the last thing I really want to do is move back into a city! I like the comparative space and the greenery and the beaches but I don't like the lack of neighbourliness. The boys are happy enough in their school, although we have some doubts about whether there will be the same sort of support (special needs) that they got from their school in London, but hey do not complain and when asked which school they prefer, they say this one. So that brings up the question of moving the children again. They do need some stability. I have bean to join a couple of organisations and they are in town. Are we just stuffed or is there somwhere out there that we might feel at home and within a budget of 7 -800K :scared: Thanks for reading this and I would really appreciate any constructive feed back.
I can`t help you wiith the area Im afraid as Im not out in Oz yet but I will send you some karma. It is difficult bringing up kids and sometimes an area that seems ideal isn`t -even in the burbs - especially if the neighbours are older or at work all day with no kids. Are there children the same age in your street??
Feb 16th 2005, 6:33 am
#3
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Originally Posted by Ian12
Are we just stuffed or is there somwhere out there that we might feel at home and within a budget of 7 -800K :scared: Thanks for reading this and I would really appreciate any constructive feed back.
Playing cricket in the streets is a bit of a challenge there - too many cars.
Feb 16th 2005, 6:33 am
#4
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Hi Ian
I dont know anything at all about Sydney, but I just wanted to wish you and your partner good luck. Sounds to me that your sister in law could be a little bit predjudiced. Maybe that is why your other half wanted to stay in the UK?
Hope everything works out for you and you and your family are happy wherever you go.
Sent u some karma.
I dont know anything at all about Sydney, but I just wanted to wish you and your partner good luck. Sounds to me that your sister in law could be a little bit predjudiced. Maybe that is why your other half wanted to stay in the UK?
Hope everything works out for you and you and your family are happy wherever you go.
Sent u some karma.
Feb 16th 2005, 6:33 am
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Originally Posted by gobbyjock
Hi there!
I can`t help you wiith the area Im afraid as Im not out in Oz yet but I will send you some karma. It is difficult bringing up kids and sometimes an area that seems ideal isn`t -even in the burbs - especially if the neighbours are older or at work all day with no kids. Are there children the same age in your street??
I can`t help you wiith the area Im afraid as Im not out in Oz yet but I will send you some karma. It is difficult bringing up kids and sometimes an area that seems ideal isn`t -even in the burbs - especially if the neighbours are older or at work all day with no kids. Are there children the same age in your street??
Feb 16th 2005, 6:39 am
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Originally Posted by Quinkana
Feb 16th 2005, 7:07 am
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Hi Ian, I really feel for you, not knowing where to live when kids are involved can be a soul searching exercise 
. How old are the boys? I know finding a good school can sometimes be hard as well, especially if special needs are involved, but kids do seem to settle even if they have a couple of moves in a short space of time.
I really cant help except to tell you what you probably already know - that price range in Brisbane would buy you a very nice house in an upmarket area close to the city, or a nice acreage or part acreage property a little bit further out or a house close to the beach on the Sunshine or Gold Coast. However, bear in mind that Brisbane is certainly not Sydney in the trend setting stakes if you are into that sort of thing & the weather certainly doesnt suit everyone!
I hope you can find somewhere that suits you & that you feel comfortable in so you can concentrate on the most important thing - bringing up the boys. Good luck
.
. How old are the boys? I know finding a good school can sometimes be hard as well, especially if special needs are involved, but kids do seem to settle even if they have a couple of moves in a short space of time.I really cant help except to tell you what you probably already know - that price range in Brisbane would buy you a very nice house in an upmarket area close to the city, or a nice acreage or part acreage property a little bit further out or a house close to the beach on the Sunshine or Gold Coast. However, bear in mind that Brisbane is certainly not Sydney in the trend setting stakes if you are into that sort of thing & the weather certainly doesnt suit everyone!
I hope you can find somewhere that suits you & that you feel comfortable in so you can concentrate on the most important thing - bringing up the boys. Good luck
.
Feb 16th 2005, 7:07 am
#9
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Hi
I think you may need to get your own place away from sis-in-law (shes not really helping)!! Seems like only 1 family is the main problem, well you'll always get 1!!
I've also got an 11 year old with special needs (nothing major) but still another thing to worry about, some people are not tolerant!!
I totally feel for you, but I'm sure things will work out, hang in their. We used to live in Sydney many years ago, although as poor travellers (happy memories)!!
All the very best
I think you may need to get your own place away from sis-in-law (shes not really helping)!! Seems like only 1 family is the main problem, well you'll always get 1!!
I've also got an 11 year old with special needs (nothing major) but still another thing to worry about, some people are not tolerant!!
I totally feel for you, but I'm sure things will work out, hang in their. We used to live in Sydney many years ago, although as poor travellers (happy memories)!!
All the very best
Feb 16th 2005, 7:24 am
#10
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Does'nt Sydney have a repuatation as one of gayist cities in the world along with San Francisco. Oxford Street, Sydney would probably be the perfect place for you.
Feb 16th 2005, 8:07 am
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Originally Posted by Ian12
Thanks Quinkana. It is really what I was looking for - more advise on areas to live but I do appreciate your thought and I will certainly give the forum a good look at-you never know someone there may know something. ALSO thanks Debsy for the Karma - my first Karma!!!! --- and every one else. I feel a tad brighter
I think that its very hard to find your feet Ian wherever you live and whoever you are.
You sound like a decent person bringing up your kids the best way you can.
You will always find people that you won't get on with and peopel will always complain.
Keep searching for the right place to call home and you will find it.
Somewhere you can live without simple and uneducated people making judgements on your sexuality.
Your boys are lucky to have such a caring and considerate set of parents.
I hope you find your home.
Love Sam.
Feb 16th 2005, 8:08 am
#12
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Hi Ian,
Sorry for being a bit nosey here... Where was the adoption order of your two boys made? Adoption orders made under the Hague Convention (UK is Hague ratified) are generally recognized in Australia. However the adoption legistration is different in different state in Australia.
In Queensland, the most conservative state, adoptive parents have to be married and be of opposite sex. If Brisbane is one of the places you're considering to move to, you might need to check if the adoption of your two boys is legally recognized in Queensland and, if not, what the implication is.
http://www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/ad...cognition.html
I'm working at the Department of Child Safety and can check for you if you like. Otherwise you can phone the Intercountry Adoption Unit directly:
http://www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/ad...cts/index.html
All the best,
Mrs JTL
Sorry for being a bit nosey here... Where was the adoption order of your two boys made? Adoption orders made under the Hague Convention (UK is Hague ratified) are generally recognized in Australia. However the adoption legistration is different in different state in Australia.
In Queensland, the most conservative state, adoptive parents have to be married and be of opposite sex. If Brisbane is one of the places you're considering to move to, you might need to check if the adoption of your two boys is legally recognized in Queensland and, if not, what the implication is.
http://www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/ad...cognition.html
I'm working at the Department of Child Safety and can check for you if you like. Otherwise you can phone the Intercountry Adoption Unit directly:
http://www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/ad...cts/index.html
All the best,
Mrs JTL
Feb 16th 2005, 8:15 am
#13
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
l would'nt move to Tasmania. Is'nt it against the law to be gay down there or did they change the law recently.
Feb 16th 2005, 8:26 am
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
I think it's a real problem for any one who wants some good night life and bring up children with space around them.
I think you SIL is possibly the cause of your problems. Have you thought about having a big barbie and inviting all the neighbours, including the ones who apparently are giving grief. Once they see you and your partner are normal and don't have two heads I am sure you will have a better time of it.
A bit scary that some states are soooo backward when it comes to gay partnerships. If you are able to get in with the de facto, you should be able to live where you want.
I wish you and your family all the best, stick with the country, do loads more research and you will find your ideal home.
I think you SIL is possibly the cause of your problems. Have you thought about having a big barbie and inviting all the neighbours, including the ones who apparently are giving grief. Once they see you and your partner are normal and don't have two heads I am sure you will have a better time of it.
A bit scary that some states are soooo backward when it comes to gay partnerships. If you are able to get in with the de facto, you should be able to live where you want.
I wish you and your family all the best, stick with the country, do loads more research and you will find your ideal home.
Feb 16th 2005, 8:28 am
#15
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Re: Gay couple asks where to live in Australia
Originally Posted by wombat42
Does'nt Sydney have a repuatation as one of gayist cities in the world along with San Francisco. Oxford Street, Sydney would probably be the perfect place for you.
Hi Wombat,
Sidney the Gayest place?? - not really sure about that. But I think there is a misconception about gay folk i.e. we are not all the same. There are a few streets in Sydney's CBD and a few night clubs that are gay or have gay establishments in them but - Hey - thats ok if your 18 or in your 20's but I am 52 with a partner of 48 and two kids 7 and 8. I've probably got more in common with people who shop in Tesco's (well Waitrose actually) on Saturday mornings than the guys who keep the cash tills in the bars ringing. Just thought this might add another dimension. And thanks to all the other readers who have contributed. It is a great to feel that people out there are supportive even if there is no immediate solution.
