A funny!!!
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
A funny!!!
Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The first old lady said she enjoyed sex now just as much as ever.
The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was.
The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom, he gets turned on and has his way with her.
The second old lady decides to try this approach. So that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head.
Her husband comes into the bedroom, takes one look and says, "For God's sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you're starting to look like an arsehole!"
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The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was.
The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom, he gets turned on and has his way with her.
The second old lady decides to try this approach. So that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head.
Her husband comes into the bedroom, takes one look and says, "For God's sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you're starting to look like an arsehole!"
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#2
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
and another...........
A man and his wife are awakened at 3:00 in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring outside!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about 3 months ago when we broke down and those 2 guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does moans, gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?"
asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
A man and his wife are awakened at 3:00 in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring outside!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about 3 months ago when we broke down and those 2 guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does moans, gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?"
asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
#5
Guest
Posts: n/a
Nice one or two??
Made me smile at the start of the day Always good to do that
Mick
Made me smile at the start of the day Always good to do that
Mick
#6
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
Originally posted by mick n cheryl
Nice one or two??
Made me smile at the start of the day Always good to do that
Mick
Nice one or two??
Made me smile at the start of the day Always good to do that
Mick