Funnies

Thread Tools
 
Old Jan 18th 2004, 5:38 pm
  #1  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
nell m's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Taranaki
Posts: 155
nell m is an unknown quantity at this point
Talking Funnies

Hi, just got sent this:

A middle-aged woman decides to have a face-lift for her birthday. She
spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home
she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking,
but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," was the reply.

"I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl, "How old do you think I am?"

"I guess about 29" The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drugstore
on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some
mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same
question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I
was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was.

It sounds kind of forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands
under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best
of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and
begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of
minutes of this she says "Okay, okay, that's enough,.....how old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands and
says,"Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,...how could
you possibly know that from a feel of my breasts?"

The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
nell m is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2004, 5:41 pm
  #2  
Banned
 
Timber Floor Au's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Posts: 10,138
Timber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Funnies

Originally posted by nell m
Hi, just got sent this:

A middle-aged woman decides to have a face-lift for her birthday. She
spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home
she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking,
but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," was the reply.

"I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl, "How old do you think I am?"

"I guess about 29" The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drugstore
on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some
mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same
question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I
was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was.

It sounds kind of forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands
under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best
of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and
begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of
minutes of this she says "Okay, okay, that's enough,.....how old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands and
says,"Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,...how could
you possibly know that from a feel of my breasts?"

The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

is 47 classed as MIDDLE AGE now OMFG im gettin there !!!!
Timber Floor Au is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2004, 6:37 pm
  #3  
....is FAB
 
artep's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Sunshine Coast
Posts: 2,579
artep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond reputeartep has a reputation beyond repute
Default

artep is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2004, 6:46 pm
  #4  
Up The Arse!!
 
wengerboy's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2003
Location: Maslins
Posts: 3,425
wengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond reputewengerboy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Funnies

Originally posted by Timber Floor Au
is 47 classed as MIDDLE AGE now OMFG im gettin there !!!!

Last edited by wengerboy; Jan 18th 2004 at 6:49 pm.
wengerboy is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.