Friends

Old Jan 6th 2005, 12:42 pm
  #46  
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Default Re: Friends

I found the same when I first went travelling at the age of 20. When I came back my family dog would act with difference towards me, its was kinda like "yer I know who you are but you left our pack". Although after few months I was accepted again but still treated with an edge of suspision that I would leave again. Its pretty much the same with humans
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Old Jan 6th 2005, 1:12 pm
  #47  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by soapy
try taking them out for a drink, but dont talk about Oz. even if they ask lol
You have to choose your friends carefully to begin with. A friend will help you move,but a true friend will help you move a body. LOL.
Also,a friend will bail you out of jail,but a true friend will be sitting in the cell with you saying" Dang,that was fun!"
Here in Oklahoma,friends are anyone you meet.I have met a few strangers here in Tulsa,but danged if we weren't friends within minutes.
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Old Jan 6th 2005, 1:35 pm
  #48  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by Beegee
I found the same when I first went travelling at the age of 20. When I came back my family dog would act with difference towards me, its was kinda like "yer I know who you are but you left our pack". Although after few months I was accepted again but still treated with an edge of suspision that I would leave again. Its pretty much the same with humans

LOL! I like it.....Good rule for life.
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Old Jan 6th 2005, 1:41 pm
  #49  
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Default Re: Friends

I once read an article that said that we make a new set of friends about every 4 years and 'move' on from our old friends. Dony know how you lot feel, but I can certainly agree to a certain point.

Sandra
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Old Jan 6th 2005, 1:51 pm
  #50  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by sj oldfield
I once read an article that said that we make a new set of friends about every 4 years and 'move' on from our old friends. Dony know how you lot feel, but I can certainly agree to a certain point.

Sandra
i still have the same pals i made in primary school and keep contact with them most nights on msn oh and two of them will be out for a visit this year, cant wait !!! i do miss them
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Old Jan 6th 2005, 2:47 pm
  #51  
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Default Re: Friends

I went travelling for 6 months a few years ago and had a fantastic time meeting new people and seeing new places. Towards the end I started to miss my friends and family and couldn't wait to get home to see them. I felt sick with disappointment when I got back home and realised that they seemed indifferent. Their lives had gone on and they had adjusted to me not being there.
Eventually though I slotted right back in. What I realise now is that my travels just weren't as exciting for other people as they were for me and that is fair enough.
People are quite often upset when you first go either because they will miss you or they are envious - usually a bit of both. They have to adjust while you are away and it is up to you to fit in when you get back. Life has not stood still for them. It took me ages to see that so I know what you are going through. Give it time and everything will be normal again
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Old Jan 6th 2005, 2:50 pm
  #52  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by soapy
i still have the same pals i made in primary school and keep contact with them most nights on msn oh and two of them will be out for a visit this year, cant wait !!! i do miss them
Still got your school caps to I bet
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Old Jan 6th 2005, 6:00 pm
  #53  
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Default Re: Friends

I can completely empathize with what OP is going through and could have written the exact same things myself.

I was away for a year in oz, and just recently returned home. I have friends who I've known for over 10 years (in mid-20's right now), and whenever I travel, I have been able to slide back into things quite easily and quickly - as if I had never left. My trips in the last 5 years have spanned from a week to 8 months. This time around, it is different.

I am home now and returning to oz in a few weeks. My main reason for being home now is to spend as much time as I can with my family and friends before I leave again, since I don't know when I will be back. The only REASON why I've come back is for the people I love here. It deeply saddens me that friends that have been so close to me for 10 yrs are slowly disappearing from my life (including one who has stopped replying to emails and returning phone calls.) What do you do? Do you confront them or do you just let go? It makes it so much harder to let go when a friend has been there for you through thick and thin, then whoosh... vanishes into thin air from your life...

I have a few friends who made the very long, expensive (during high season!) trip to oz to see me... I didn't realize how much that would mean to me until they were there during my lowest time in oz. Also, the fact that they used up all of their holiday time and spent thousands on a ticket to be with you has got to say something, for sure. When the other friend pretty much seems to refuse to see you even if you are an hour's flight away from them...

It's hard letting go but this has been the most frustrating thing I've had to deal with being back at home. I feel like I have to resolve this before I leave but at the same time feel powerless to the situation...

Living abroad really does test your friendships... and as I've realized some are here to stay for the long haul, and some aren't.
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Old Jan 6th 2005, 9:46 pm
  #54  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by sandradee
There are several contributors to this thread, who have moved to Australia and are now back in England after only 4 or 5 months. Why did you go back to England? surely you have to give a new life/country at least 12 months.

We have been here for 7 months, and have absolutely no intentions of ever going back to live in England.
Just for the record (and not to get into a scrap!), I went to Oz in 1997 on a working holiday and met my husband. His family had emigrated to Australia in 1987 from England, all still there. I stayed in Australia for 7 years for my husband but missed my family more than ever.

We chose to come back for a year or two. I have no burning desires to go back to Australia, I don't hate the place or the people, had some happy times there, still have some great Australian buddies, just I wanted to come back to the UK. I also know that somewhere along the line I will probably go back, for hubby's turn with his family. We have no kids or ties so why not!

I am glad I did as I managed to spent quality time with my Nanna before she passed away, went to my Brother's wedding and going to my Dad's in April this year. I have got to know my two half sisters, babies when I left now young women.

I am in the very lucky position of being a dual passport holder, I am eternally grateful for this.

I am have never and never will be motivated by money or possessions, so where I lay my hat is my home.

You quote : "We have been here for 7 months, and have absolutely no intentions of ever going back to live in England".

All I would say is one day you might just eat your words as you never know what is around the corner. Trust me!

Best wishes
Merlot

Last edited by Merlot; Jan 6th 2005 at 9:49 pm. Reason: Missed a bit off! Opps!!!
 
Old Jan 6th 2005, 9:51 pm
  #55  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by Bix
Still got your school caps to I bet
we didnt have caps, we were lucky to have shoes in them days lmao
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Old Jan 7th 2005, 7:55 am
  #56  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by Merlot

You quote : "We have been here for 7 months, and have absolutely no intentions of ever going back to live in England".

All I would say is one day you might just eat your words as you never know what is around the corner. Trust me!

Very true indeed Merlot (says Bundy, from her current position of seeing just how much can change in a few months). There are some events in life that can truly magnify the distance between the UK and Oz and, if and when these occur, it's amazing how quickly and completely your priorities and intentions can change.....Never say never.
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Old Jan 7th 2005, 5:00 pm
  #57  
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Originally Posted by bundy
Very true indeed Merlot (says Bundy, from her current position of seeing just how much can change in a few months). There are some events in life that can truly magnify the distance between the UK and Oz and, if and when these occur, it's amazing how quickly and completely your priorities and intentions can change.....Never say never.
Thanks Bundy, life does have a funny way of biting you in the butt so to speak.

I had a conversation with a friend over in Australia who could not get over me being a dual national and questioned which country I am loyal to.

His senaro (excuse spelling) was if I was in Australia and I had 3 sons. Australia went to war and those 3 sons had to fight as Australian soliders compulsory (and maybe lose their life), BUT I could fly the whole family back to the UK and live in peace - what would I do????

Do you know I selfishly said "Back to England" and wonder if it was the other way round would I say "Go to Australia". He was highlighting the push to shove case but it was true, I wonder how many expats in Australia would "save" their skins? I guess I am trying to get to the loyality thing.

Sorry Mel for highjacking the thread somewhat!

Best wishes
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Old Jan 7th 2005, 7:27 pm
  #58  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by Merlot
Thanks Bundy, life does have a funny way of biting you in the butt so to speak.

I had a conversation with a friend over in Australia who could not get over me being a dual national and questioned which country I am loyal to.

His senaro (excuse spelling) was if I was in Australia and I had 3 sons. Australia went to war and those 3 sons had to fight as Australian soliders compulsory (and maybe lose their life), BUT I could fly the whole family back to the UK and live in peace - what would I do????

Do you know I selfishly said "Back to England" and wonder if it was the other way round would I say "Go to Australia". He was highlighting the push to shove case but it was true, I wonder how many expats in Australia would "save" their skins? I guess I am trying to get to the loyality thing.

Sorry Mel for highjacking the thread somewhat!

Best wishes
Merlot
In reply to that, whats selfish about caring for your own flesh and blood? I remember about 15 years ago Lord Tebbit went on about the fact that other nationals should support the English cricket team, caused a bit of a stir. You can still love your home country yet love a place you call home. I probably have more desire to be in Oz that the UK. I'm affraid I am not the most patriotic when it comes to our country. Thats the way I am, I can't help it and I don't feel guilty about it. You're lucky you have the opportunity to take advantage of both countries, make sure you revel in that! Bit off tangent here sorry....
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Old Jan 7th 2005, 7:34 pm
  #59  
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Originally Posted by russmcp
In reply to that, whats selfish about caring for your own flesh and blood? I remember about 15 years ago Lord Tebbit went on about the fact that other nationals should support the English cricket team, caused a bit of a stir. You can still love your home country yet love a place you call home. I probably have more desire to be in Oz that the UK. I'm affraid I am not the most patriotic when it comes to our country. Thats the way I am, I can't help it and I don't feel guilty about it. You're lucky you have the opportunity to take advantage of both countries, make sure you revel in that! Bit off tangent here sorry....
I have to say my observations whilst living in Australia is that Australian's are VERY Patriotic, a little too much I have heard many say but at least they are. You can't knock them for that.

I think that the English out of the whole of the UK are the most embarrassed to be flag wavers (Football and sporting events excuded here). I am almost envious of the Welsh & Scots as they are much more "proud".

I am proud to be both Austrailan & English. I have bones about both places but neither will I ever complain about again as they gave me a lot - freedom, lifestyle and employment.

One look at the poor buggers in SE Asia should make us all happy to be safe, healthy, food on the table and with a roof over our heads.

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Old Jan 7th 2005, 9:15 pm
  #60  
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Default Re: Friends

Originally Posted by melaniee
We moved back to the UK from Perth 4 months ago. Although we are glad to be back in the UK (for the moment!) one of the biggest disappointments for me has been coming back to friends-we were out of the country for just over one year. One of the reasons I wanted to come back was because I missed friends a lot. Now we are back, a lot of them seem different, have changed (or perhaps I have and they have not) and a lot do need seem pleased we are back, interested in what we have been up to etc. Times seem to have changed and it is not possible just to slot back in.....

Has anyone else found that when they moved to Australia they lost touch with a lot of friends of anything similar?

Interesting thread and all too true !!

Think its all to do with the fact "out of sight out of mind", I will be leaving for Aus soon, this is the second time in my life I will be emmigrating.

When I keft the UK in 1989 I had the usuall huge circle of friends one has from growing up and going to school in one specific area for 10 or so years, then I left for 10 years, before I left, my best friends agreed to stay in touch, I tried to for a couple of months then all went quiet, when I came back after 10 years, its like I had arrived back on another planet, I re-settled back in the same area most of my ex-friends are still here, but I may as well be on another planet.

I had the same after 10 years in Johannesburg, when I left it seems I was wiped off the face of the earth, but the odd thing is that some of my ex-colleagues who were not really "friends" have actually turned out to be best friends, we stay in touch via e-mail.

Maybe its me, but I dont bother with friends any more, its not worth the hassle, now I'm off to Aus.
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