melaniee

Thanks for all your comments everyone. I wish I had known this before we came back but would it have made a difference to the decisions? I think it is a combination of jealousy and people moving on-my friends that had one child now have two and we are very different. I have realised too over the last few days that we have changed a lot too and perhaps are not as interested in what they are up to-it works both ways huh?

I am coming to terms with it now, just wish it had not been such a shock and now realise who are the friends and who aren't-a good lesson.

As for not mentioning Australia, it is hard but I suppose you do have to move on-they heard enough about it when we were planning to go!!!!!

Sophie Louise

I know what you mean. I keep catching myself blathering on about Australia, and my (remaining ) friends have been very patient so far, but it is honestly pretty much all that's in my head at the moment!!! Will have to try to stop relating topics in my mind too. 'Bit cold today' (Australia's warmer...), 'Would you like some more courgettes?' (Hee hee Aussies call them zucchini...) etc. That's not to mention aubergines and 'pah-sta'...

So THAT'S where all the friends are going!!!!!

Sophie

Jamiem

In light of all of this, I'd be interested to know if you would consider trying Australia again? or is it something that you feel you've given a go, and know isn't for you?

Best regards,

Jamie

sandradee

There are several contributors to this thread, who have moved to Australia and are now back in England after only 4 or 5 months. Why did you go back to England? surely you have to give a new life/country at least 12 months.

We have been here for 7 months, and have absolutely no intentions of ever going back to live in England.

gedge

Your question sounds more like an accusation, like someone hasn't tried hard enough. I agree it is better to get to the year mark at least before considering your options, if you had intended to make a country your long term home.

If you find that your friends become distant then I would consider how good a friend they really are. It's impossible not to talk about where you've been and what you've done and why should you it's your life. As long as it's not the only thing you've got to say.

fimart

I think it can be hard to distinguish between friends who are real friends and are interested in you and what you do and the friends who go to the same pub.

1CC

It's so true how people move on and how fewer christmas cards we got this year than last. Thanks to the rele's, neighbours, my wifes work and my 7yr olds school friends our shelves did show we have a place in other peoples lives. Apart from the rele's cards the rest are budding newly aquired friendships. These friendships may be in there infancey but they have the same potential as any friendships had back in the uk.
I guess next year our uk christmas card list will be shorter but I guess this is price we pay for leaving our friends for pastures anew.
One thing for sure our aussie card list will be bigger!!!!!

Have a great year

col

Badge

I find it is "can't relate".

Lets face it, noone ever REALLY wants to know where you went, or rather what you did. You go on holiday, even for months, the chat on return amounts to a few mins back in the office, or a pub chat, that's it.

Those going back to UK, their old friends were doing the washing, going to work whilst you were doing the same in Australia.

All the people I know who went back to the UK after travels said the same..nothing had changed for their mates. It wouldn't have..
but YOU may have changed..

I have been overseas now since 1998. Its one of the smaller reasons I like Australia - I can pick up a life here easier than back in the UK.

If I go back to 1998, what, the best part of 6 years, I realise now I have spent longer in Australia than anywhere else.. the UK has not been a prime place of residence since 1998...

Maybe this explains why I can think of Australia as home now..UK life seems very distant now...so I HAVE changed..

Badge

bundy

I had the same thing when I went over to Oz for a year. Admittedly, I was only 22 and had just graduated, so lots of people were tripping off down very different paths post-uni, but my closest friends were all living together at the time and it took only a matter of weeks for things to change - the emails/phonecalls slowed and then stopped. On returning to the UK things were definitely different. Maybe it was the fact that they couldn't reconcile their world of corporate life in the City with my world of working on a sheep station. Maybe they were unsettled by the fact that I had brought back a souvenir (Mr B). Maybe they were jealous of the fact that I had been living the life of riley while they were all grappling with MBAs and living in London. Who knows. But not only did a lot of the contact stop, I stopped getting invited to the usual shindigs and things gradually slipped more and more.

It may have worried me at the time, but I had made so many good friends whilst in Oz, people from all over the planet, that it didn't seem to matter too much. And then there was the fact that we were always due to be returning to Oz, so maybe I was mindful not to collect too many friends because of having to say good bye to them again. I've re-established contact with a lot of my old mates, but it's not the same. And, truth be told, those I've met in the course of my travels prove to be the constant ones. When we went back to Oz last year we picked up exactly where we'd left things 4 years before.

I think there's a measure of envy in people's responses. A wish, perhaps, that they too could have packed up and headed of the horizon. There's the fact that you can't hope to go through the process of emigration and live in another country without changing a little, and usually a lot. Maybe it's because this taste of a new and different life changes the things you once had in common.

Whatever it is, I've always believed that friends come and go and that people come into your life just when you need them most. Some will vanish as quickly as they appeared, some will stick around for the long haul. The thing is to hold onto the ones you have got when you have them but to know when to let go of the ones that are lost.

Bix

You aint gettin rid of me that easy young lady
When your path has been crossed by the lion....your path has been C R O S S E D

bundy

Well, obviously, you are a keeper, dear Bixie. Everyone needs a lion in their life

Bix

Tis true indeed and what I have been advocating for years.

Do you remember my advertising campaign a few years back ?

Now how did it go ? Oh yes it was something like "Go to work on an egg".......and it was of course lion brand. They used to stamp my picture on each egg you know.

bundy

Well there you go. Would have missed me - can't stand eggs.

I also have rather a strong marketing campaign I believe. Along the lines of warding off the wickedest chill and being rather smart thus sparking cries of 'damn you Bundy'.

Bix

Indeed so.
You are very popular in this neck of the woods.
If you was running for election there would be no contest.

bundy

I shall bear it in mind.....