fridays funnies
Nov 28th 2003, 8:03 am
#1
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fridays funnies
After a long night of making love the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one handy.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches setting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
lol
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and 'do it' for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in.' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were so religious.'
The boy turns and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches setting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
lol
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and 'do it' for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in.' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were so religious.'
The boy turns and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
Nov 28th 2003, 8:14 am
#2
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Good ones Arlene!
Nov 28th 2003, 8:17 am
#3
I like kittens.
Joined: Oct 2003
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You'll never eat a cone again....
Nov 28th 2003, 8:22 am
#4
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My first Christmas card of the year -
Last edited by Pollyana; Jan 6th 2007 at 10:09 am.
Nov 28th 2003, 8:24 am
#5
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And my second.....
Last edited by Pollyana; Jan 6th 2007 at 10:09 am.
Nov 28th 2003, 4:48 pm
#6
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lol.
I tried looking for a picture on my pc ( must have lost it ) from last year. it had rudolph stood in front of the sleigh with santa holding his whip. rudolph was shouting, " yes yes ! whip me again you fat red b*****d "
Very amusing
Paul
I tried looking for a picture on my pc ( must have lost it ) from last year. it had rudolph stood in front of the sleigh with santa holding his whip. rudolph was shouting, " yes yes ! whip me again you fat red b*****d "
Very amusing
Paul
Nov 28th 2003, 6:44 pm
#7
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ha ha
Nov 28th 2003, 7:07 pm
#8
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just to lighten up our nights
Nov 28th 2003, 8:44 pm
#9
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arlene, those pics are the same ones i had with "santa whipping rudolph "
Paul
Paul
Nov 29th 2003, 12:13 am
#10
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This the one you mean......(one of my all time favourites!)
Last edited by Pollyana; Jan 6th 2007 at 10:08 am.
Nov 29th 2003, 1:54 am
#11
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 63
A new arrival to Perth from Uk is out checking out his back garden and his Aussie neighbour is leaning on the fence with his vest and shorts on.
'Hi neighbour and welcome. Would you like to come over to a party later? The'll be a bit of drinking. Probably a bit of fighting. No doubt a bit of shagging.'
Not wanting to be rude expat says 'Sure I'll be there, are there many people coming?
The neighbour says -- 'No, just you and me'.
'Hi neighbour and welcome. Would you like to come over to a party later? The'll be a bit of drinking. Probably a bit of fighting. No doubt a bit of shagging.'
Not wanting to be rude expat says 'Sure I'll be there, are there many people coming?
The neighbour says -- 'No, just you and me'.
Nov 29th 2003, 5:54 am
#12
Happy Daddy
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Dodgey West Midlands , UK
Posts: 1,312
Hi juri,
I just have a cup of tea with my neighbours, although I did wonder when I was in the US for a month & the wife told me she was pregnant & the neighbour was moving.
It was just the way she said it.
Bye
Markeh
I just have a cup of tea with my neighbours, although I did wonder when I was in the US for a month & the wife told me she was pregnant & the neighbour was moving.
It was just the way she said it.
Bye
Markeh
Nov 29th 2003, 8:20 am
#13
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POLLY !!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU !!!!!!! lol
Photo has now been saved into a newly created folder called " do not delete at any costs "
Paul
PS, yes.that was the one lol
I LOVE YOU !!!!!!! lol
Photo has now been saved into a newly created folder called " do not delete at any costs "
Paul
PS, yes.that was the one lol
Nov 29th 2003, 9:55 am
#14
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
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Glad to oblige Paul!!!!
Sounds like I made your day!
Sounds like I made your day!
Nov 29th 2003, 2:40 pm
#15
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it's about the only thing i have smiled about today.
Since the last post i've been helping the sister-in-law move house and my back is killing me
Then called at asda for some passport photo's and they look like a f*****g wanted poster.
Then when i got home, i discovered half the fence had blown down in the wind
Still, not all doom and gloom.
Stella chilling in the fridge and the wife's off to work later so it's sole custody of the remote
Paul.
Since the last post i've been helping the sister-in-law move house and my back is killing me
Then called at asda for some passport photo's and they look like a f*****g wanted poster.
Then when i got home, i discovered half the fence had blown down in the wind
Still, not all doom and gloom.
Stella chilling in the fridge and the wife's off to work later so it's sole custody of the remote
Paul.