bondipom

For Sale

sky

lol have seen before but i still makes me laugh

jib

mick n cheryl

learn a Language

Speak Korean in 10 minutes

1That's not right Sum Ting Wong

2Are you harbouring a fugitive Hu Yu Hai Ding

3See me ASAP Kum Hia

4Stupid man Dum Gai

5Small horse Tai Ni Po Ni

6Did you go to the beach Wai You So Tan

7I bumped the coffee table Ai Bang Mai Ni

8I think you need a facelift Chin Tu Fat

9It's very dark in here Wao So Dim

10I though you was on a diet Wai Yu Mun Ching

11This is a tow away zone No Pah King

12Our meeting is scheduled for next week Wai Yu Kum Nao

13Staying out of sight Lei Ying Lo

14He's cleaning our automobile Wa Shing Ka

15Your body odour is offensive Yu Skin Ki Pu

16Great Fa Kin Su Pah

17Who's been eating all the pies Yo Fat Wan Ka

18England will win Euro 2004 No Fu Kin Wai


Mick

gedge

Two Aussies boarded a flight out of London after the Rugby World Cup.

One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a Kiwi got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Aussies .

After take-off, the Kiwi kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Aussie in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer."

"No problem," said the Kiwi , "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the Aussies picked up the Kiwi 's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Aussie said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Kiwi obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other Aussie picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The Kiwi returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Kiwi slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in beers?"

Larissa

pmsl

adavis

Dutch version Pop idol

scutterUK

... eee byegum eckyfump there's some fine yorksha lasses around tha' 'noes..........


i might add that any similarities with any forum members are purely coincidental and should therefore be ignored....or at least not be blamed on me as i'm just the messenger in this case. i thank you.

loose

Scutter - excellent lol - all those gorgeous Bradford lasses - ahm reet proud!!

It cheered me up actually cos I went to see my Grandma last night after Grandad died at the weekend.

She's a real case my nan, so I wasn't too surprised when she told me how Grandad popped his clogs. Apparently they were making love!!! I told her I was surprised cos they were in their late 80's, and she said they actually made love every Sunday morning! They live next door to a church, so to help Grandad take it nice and steady and save his ticker they used to wait for the church bells to start. In on the ding, out on the dong!

Poor Grandad. He'd still be alive today if it wasn't for that bloody ice cream van!

(soz)

HiddenPaw

(sent to me yesterday by an Aussie.....Broadmeadows is a suburb of Melbourne)

austensue

A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland.

To keep tradition going, everyone gets extremely drunk and the bride's and groom's families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the shit out of each other. The police get called in to break up the fight.

The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the courtroom until the judge finally brings calm with the use of his gavel, shouting, 'Silence in court!'

The courtroom goes silent and Paddy, the best man, stands up and says,
'Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened.'

The judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the best man gets the first dance with the bride.

The judge says, 'OK.'

'Well,' said Paddy, 'after I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song, when all of a sudden the groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the bride an unmerciful kick right between her legs.'

Shocked, the judge instantly responded, 'God, that must have hurt!'

'Hurt?' Paddy replies. 'He broke three of my fingers!'

Aus

austensue

An old man goes to a gypsy to ask him if he can remove a curse he's been living with for 40 years.

The gypsy says: "Maybe, but before I can try to remove the curse, I need to know the exact words that were used to put the curse on you in the first place."

Without hesitation the old man turns and says: "I now pronounce you man and wife."

Thats it. No more!!!!!!!!!

Aus

loose

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here
and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says: - "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosties back in the box."

scutterUK

PMSL..... i thought you being serious then!!

helinuk

love it - will send to mt Singapore frinds