cj23

We finally leave for Perth on Friday, but I am feeling so sad at the moment. My son who is 10 got sent home from school yesterday with a migraine, when he finally went to bed last night I asked if anything was bothering him he then burst out crying and said he didn't want to go to Australia and he doesn't want to leave his friends. Now I am all upset thinking are we doing the right thing, which I am sure we are, but we are so lucky where we live now, and the kids go to a great school and my son especially has loads of friends who are all really lovely boys.

It is breaking my heart to be taking him away from his friends here, I am even crying as I type this. Someone who has done it please tell me that children get over it and settle quickly. What makes me feel worse is when I was his age we moved from Lancashire to Essex and I hated it so I know just how he is feeling and he is so like me - gets very emotional!

Only two more days left here now, did a few goodbyes yesterday and it is the worst thing ever, don't think I can do many more! Kids last day at school on Thursday, that bothers me more than anything, will have to get hubby to collect them or I'll be in a right state in the playground.

Cath

Shellfish

Hi Cath,

I don't have children but based on what I have read on this sight, children are the most adaptable of everyone and tend to settled the easiest and the quickest.

Good luck with the move

movetoperth

you really are at the worst part just now, it doesn't matter how you handle the goodbyes it a real nightmare, not because you are upset but because seeing others upset gets you there too. Sadly you have to just get through it and the minute you walk through the departure gate you will feel a whole lot better.

As for your son, he's just feeling like you do but from a kid point of view. I know people who have tries it all different ways, some have said they will buy them something good when they arrive, wet suit and body board are usually favourites, others have focussed on the keeping in touch side of it and arranged web cams with the school and friends etc, although IMO that can just prolong things......

He'll love it if you do, let him know that you are sad about leaving people too but can see how good it will be.

It will all be well in the end!!!!!!

Lynn

Vash the Stampede

Children are extremely resilient, espectially when young. He will get over it.

jacksoo

Cath, this is the hard part. We have moved around quite a bit & our hardest move was from California to the UK. The kids will get over it, but please allow time. 6 - 9 months for them to settle & really make friends. When you arrive, try & arrange play dates & choose your school well. Ask them what they can do to help your son settle & to make friends. We kept our two (9 & 11 yrs) busy, ie. trips to the beach, local zoo's, theme parks etc.. Different things work for different people.

When we returned to the UK we all hated it & so now we're here in Queensland. Just give yourself time. The way things are looking for us, we could be in Perth by the end of this year - I'll check in with you then! x

Good luck, take a big breath, & go for it.

Jacksoo

Billabong

My youngest was 11 when we moved to Brisbane and although traumatic to begin with has never looked back.

He is far more confident and outgoing than he ever was in the UK

He will be fine - all he needs is your support which you are providing by the sound of it.

mand8002

Unfortunatley what tends to happen is that their friends all say things like "I don't want you to go". I am sure that once you make the move he will be fine as he will make friends at school and get into a routine. At the moment he has so many uncertainties in his life, he does not know where he will be living, does not know what school he will be going to and also what it will be like. It is hard for anyone to leave their comfort zone.

nightnurse2

I'm sure once you all get here and start to settle in he will be fine- it may take awhile. My boys aged 9 and 6 don't talk about the UK much now and know this is not a holiday (I think that at first they thought it was).
We all cried at the airport (family came to see us off) not sure if I'd go through that again. My 6 year old cried for a good couple of hours untill we landed at Heathrow and then he was fine. We've had no tears since.
Good luck and if you would like your son to meet up with mine send me a pm.

Tracey

thebears

And the fact that he already seems a socialable guy he will find it even easier to make friends in Australia.

With the internet it makes it so much easier to stay in contact with friends and family.

When in the UK we had morning and evening sessions with our folks in NZ and now we have the same sessions but now with friends we left behind.

It is all very sad (but only in the short term). In the longer term the good friends will visit and you will have reunions to look forward too. It also makes you appreciate people.

He will get through it and in a few weeks/months look back at it as a positive step. Your earlier experiences should help not hinder as you are already looking out for their emotions and feelings. After a summer on the beach with new mates (while keeping contact with the old) and a new girlfriend or two? why would he then miss the UK?

Good luck with the move

Kiwi

leigh&ivan

Hi Cath

Have a read of this thread - 'Has life improved for your children?', to help you see you are doing the best thing for him even though it doesn't feel like it right now.

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=364535

Good luck

Leigh

td1

Hi Cath,

I know exactly how you are feeling. We fly out in June and have a 6 year old son. I am constantly worrying about how this is going to affect him. He says he wants to go and live in Australia because thats where we will be but I know he doesn't really want to go.

He keeps coming up to me with tears in his eyes and tells me he is feeling very sad because he is going to Australia and wont be able to see his granny so much.

It breaks my heart everytime he says it and in that few minutes I am 100% convinced I am doing the wrong thing. Hopefully everything will turn out to be ok eventually but it has such a gut-wrenching impact on you when you know you are doing somerhing to make your child unhappy.

sparkley23

I don't know if this will be of any help to you but here goes anyway. When I was 9, my mum and dad seriously contemplated taking me and my brother (11 at the time) to Australia. House prices in the UK were high and cheap in Oz so we could have upgraded to a mansion with a pool! My mum is originally from Sydney (came over when she was 21) so we would have had family out in Australia and could have made the move easily without visa worries.

She was adamant that although her and my dad knew it was the best thing to do, they would only go with the complete consent of my brother and me. My mum couldn't bear the thought of upheaving us and taking us over there only for us to come back as soon as we were 18 and old enough to make her own choice. She has always thought that the opportunities for work and travel etc in this country are better than Australia (Grass is always greener perhaps!).

My brother and I both didn't want to go for reasons of friends (and my main reason was I was petrified of the scary spiders and snakes!!). Even the prospect of a pool in our backyard couldn't tempt us! Even though a year or two later we both left primary school and made completely different friends anyway!! In retrospect I can see that my mum and dad could see the long term benefits of a better life in Australia but kids at that age can only see the short-term - time goes so much slower when you are a kid.

Now, 15 years down the line, I am emigrating to Australia on my own and leaving my parents and brother here in the UK. Exactly what my mum feared would happen if she took me to Australia (that I would come back to the UK and she would end up living on the other side of the world to me) is happening after all, just the other way round!

Hopefully my parents will retire out to Oz in a couple of years, fingers crossed.

So whilst it might be heartbreaking to do now, from my experience, I think he will thank you for it in the long run. I do wish we had gone all those years ago.


Good luck!

cj23

Thanks everyone for your replies, I am feeling much better about it now. Yes its going to be really really hard going, saying goodbye is much worse than I ever thought it would be, but I think once we get on that plane we will all be ok. I think being the new person at school is a big worry but he is the sort of boy who will make friends so hopefully I'm worrying about nothing. Thanks again for some very reassuring replies.

Cath

ElshaUK

Cath,

My parents moved me and my Brother to Australia when we were 8 & 7. Yes, we got teased (mainly for accent) and it was hard to find friends....I never really felt I had good friends until High School. But....even though I moved back to England aged 23, I believe Australia was the best place to grow up!

I am now in the process of sponsoring my partner to move back! I want to have children in the next few years and Australia is my choice of places to do that!

Your son, will get over it and make friends! Might take him a little bit of time, but when he thinks you are not looking - you will see him having a fantastic time!

I remember Christmas mornings, spent in the pool with our new pool toys, then Dad taking us down the beach whilst Mum chilled and popped the Chrissy dinner on to cook! Just as my English memories of traipsing through snow so big, it went past my knees, in an effort to get to Grandma's house on Christmas morning are dear to me, so are my Aussie ones!

One tip - get email addresses or regular addresses of your son's friends in the UK and encourage him to email/write to them. I am still writing to my best friend and it has been 24 years!

Good luck!

Wol

He will love the flight, settle faster than you will and in a couple of weeks won't even remember the UK! I am sure he will blossom under a blue sky.