Feeling really cruel
 

Oh dear. I went out with my family this evening for a meal at the Outback restaurant for my niece's birthday.

This will be the last time that we see them as they will be away for a while now.

My kids were really screaming (and I mean screaming) and so were my four nieces - it was really very distressing for all of them. My nine year old said to me this is like child abuse - taking us away from our cousins.

My kids have really been looking forward to going to Australia until now.

I just feel really sick now and wish we were not going:(

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

My 7yr old daughter is always telling me she does'nt want to go to Australia and we have'nt even started with the applications yet. I often think now am i doing the right thing taking her 'away' from her friends, school and most of all her beloved family. But my heart tells me i will be doing the right thing and she will make new friends and go to a new school and she will always have her family wherever they may be. You will be fine Debs and you are doing the right thing. Live your dream......the kids will love it.

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

I get the impression from stuff I've seen and read that kids tend to adapt much quicker to their new life in Aus than adults. There are of course exceptions, but bear their adaptability in mind and hope for the best. Once they're settled in Aussie schools, they'll soon start making new friends. Good luck! :) :)

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

Debsy,

You are naturally "high" on the events of the day.
Take a breath and sleep on it.

Look around and remember what children do.
The most important thing to them today is a thing of the past very quickly.
They change their minds - grow - and change their minds again. Nothing bad or wrong in this but along the way they inadvertently cause worry to their parents.
Relax, it will work out fine. :)

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

Oh Debsy...just read your email and I'm sad for you as I know how difficult this last "push/pull" is.

If there's anything I can share it is that what you are all going through is normal. Parents feeling guilty for taking their kids away from friends, family, familiarity and you guys feeling insecure cos of the massive changes and insecurity ahead...these are all normal feelings and everyone deals with it in their own way...

As a child I moved from country to country and went through all the things you mention about your girls. It never got easier to get used to a new school, new friends and not seeing grandparents, aunties, uncles etc. However, over time and especially now as an adult, I have realised seeing different cultures, meeting new friends and experiencing a less parochial "life" has added to my resiliance, tolerance, acceptance and understanding of others. I never resented my parents long term, in fact I now thank them for it.

You ARE doing the right think Debsy...goodness knows you've planned long and hard enough. This is the worse time cos it's emotional, everything else prior has been a "process"........just be strong as a family and you'll get through this girlfriend.

Take care, am thinking about you....and be strong ;)

PS. Am still on the lookout for that glitter toilet seat :)

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

Hi Debs,
Kids react instantly to a situation(most do anyway) easy for an adult to be told to take a deep breath & try to control their emotions,kids are kids!
Separation is not easy,nor will it be easy for the kids but they will bounce back in zip time! far quicker than us adults can.
Hope things are a bit better today,you will cope & your kids will love it!
Stay strong & think positive!
Donna.

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

Hi Debsy,

Sorry to hear about your evening. Wishing you all the happy thoughts in the world, I'm sure they will all be fine, kids move on much better than us grown ups.

Kala

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

owww mate :(

Our kids did all that to us, but in 11 months we've only had one real episode of missing family and that was around christmas. I asked my daughter if she would like to go back to live in England last week, she looked panicked and said "No way!!"

Its natural mate, things will smooth out, chin up girl :)

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

Hang on in there Debs, the worst is over.

Once you are in Oz they will be fine, keep it positive and keep telling them all the great things they will be doing.

take care
Jill

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

Thanks everyone for your kind words. What would I do without you all :)
Feeling much better again today.
I am going to dish you all out some karma now (if it lets me)

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

Have some back Debsy, you deserve it! :)

Re: Feeling really cruel
 

Thanks Tony.

Janey, Jill, Kala - could not give you anymore before I spread it around :(