Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Australia
Reload this Page >

Feeling guilty for being so happy - anyone else?

Feeling guilty for being so happy - anyone else?

Old Jul 27th 2005, 12:36 pm
  #1  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Libra76's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Gippsland, Victoria since April '05 and loving it! (ex-Belgium)
Posts: 70
Libra76 will become famous soon enough
Post Feeling guilty for being so happy - anyone else?

Just wondering if anyone else feels guilty sometimes when talking to family/friends back home about their new life here in Oz and how great it is. I moved over here from Belgium with DH (who is originally from Melbourne) and DS in April and we are living close to my in-laws and friends of DH, all of whom I get along with very well. We are living in Gippsland, Victoria, and this region is like paradise to me (sounds stupid maybe but that is how I feel).

Anyhow, basically what I wanted to say is that I feel so very happy that we live here now, everything is going good for us, I get a lot of love and support from ILs and friends here too, and I feel guilty because...... I don't really feel homesick

I miss my mum very much, and my brother and some close friends also. But that's it. I don't miss much else (apart from Belgian fries ) I feel guilty because I feel like I should be suffering from homesickness like some other people on this board.

Anyone else feel guilty when they talk to family in their home country and feel like they have to hold back in sounding happy and enthusiastic?? I always feel like I have to throw in some 'negative' things about living here but I can't find any major ones to bring up...

Sorry for my ramblings... glad to get it off my chest anyhow

Cheers
Els (wish I could find a smilie drinking a glass of red instead of beer..)

ETA: I mean, my family back home might think I don't miss them, but I do. I just wouldn't go back for anything in the world IYKWIM

Last edited by Libra76; Jul 27th 2005 at 12:40 pm.
Libra76 is offline  
Old Jul 28th 2005, 1:45 am
  #2  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,235
Hels is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Feeling guilty for being so happy - anyone else?

Originally Posted by Libra76
Just wondering if anyone else feels guilty sometimes when talking to family/friends back home about their new life here in Oz and how great it is. I moved over here from Belgium with DH (who is originally from Melbourne) and DS in April and we are living close to my in-laws and friends of DH, all of whom I get along with very well. We are living in Gippsland, Victoria, and this region is like paradise to me (sounds stupid maybe but that is how I feel).

Anyhow, basically what I wanted to say is that I feel so very happy that we live here now, everything is going good for us, I get a lot of love and support from ILs and friends here too, and I feel guilty because...... I don't really feel homesick

I miss my mum very much, and my brother and some close friends also. But that's it. I don't miss much else (apart from Belgian fries ) I feel guilty because I feel like I should be suffering from homesickness like some other people on this board.

Anyone else feel guilty when they talk to family in their home country and feel like they have to hold back in sounding happy and enthusiastic?? I always feel like I have to throw in some 'negative' things about living here but I can't find any major ones to bring up...

Sorry for my ramblings... glad to get it off my chest anyhow

Cheers
Els (wish I could find a smilie drinking a glass of red instead of beer..)

ETA: I mean, my family back home might think I don't miss them, but I do. I just wouldn't go back for anything in the world IYKWIM

Hi,

Just thought I would post a reply because no one else has as yet and I think your post deserves it.

I think your family would feel really relieved and excited at your happiness. It was a big move you made and I am guessing it wasnt an easy decision for you to make. Why should you feel guilty? Is it just you feeling this way or are your family saying things that make you feel like you should feel this guilt?

I say enjoy the life you are building here and enjoy the support you are getting from your IL's. Feeling guilty doesnt help anyone, least of all you and your family.

Good luck for the future,

Hels
Hels is offline  
Old Jul 28th 2005, 2:31 am
  #3  
Cup of tea, Father?
 
Geordie George's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Underground, overground, wombling free
Posts: 6,895
Geordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond reputeGeordie George has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Feeling guilty for being so happy - anyone else?

I also feel guilty about being happy over here sometimes - like I'm somehow betraying friends and family by continuing to have a good time and that they're not contributing to that. Certainly wasn't an emotion I was expecting! (Sometimes feels like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place emotionally - if it's not homesickness, it's guilt!)

Agreed with Hels - it's certainly not something you should feel guilty about, but you can't help the way you feel. And I bet it's something most people won't be prepared for; I know I wasn't.

GG
Geordie George is offline  
Old Jul 28th 2005, 3:07 am
  #4  
BE Enthusiast
 
Flutterscutter's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 622
Flutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud of
Default Re: Feeling guilty for being so happy - anyone else?

I think theres two problems here. First you are a woman and secondly you are British!
Us women tend to live our whole lives feeling guilty about one thing or another, and guilt for being happy is also a bit of a British disease!

Enyoy your life, believe it or not, you have every right to!

Anyone who really cares about you will be happy that you are.
Flutterscutter is offline  
Old Jul 28th 2005, 5:36 am
  #5  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Libra76's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Gippsland, Victoria since April '05 and loving it! (ex-Belgium)
Posts: 70
Libra76 will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Feeling guilty for being so happy - anyone else?

Thanks for replying girls, I appreciate it.

Yeah, I agree, it must be something that us women tend to have... a constant feeling of guilt for one thing or the other

Hels, yes it is just me feeling this way, my family and friends don't do or say anything to make me feel guilty. On the contrary, they are very very happy that we are happy, that's all that matters to my mum anyhow.

It's also like when we talk or e-mail and you end up talking about the weather (like you do) and they say 'yeah we're having a pretty average summer, been raining for days and it doesn't get hotter than 25°' and then I pipe up with 'oh, we've been having great summer-like days up to a few weeks ago, and even now we're getting a few days of warm sunny weather still, and it's winter over here! We even have barbies at friend's places still at this time of year!' And then it sounds like I'm bragging... but I don't mean to, you know?!

somehow betraying friends and family by continuing to have a good time and that they're not contributing to that. Certainly wasn't an emotion I was expecting!
GG - you're so right, you know what I mean exactly! It certainly wasn't a feeling I was expecting.


and guilt for being happy is also a bit of a British disease!
Must be a Belgian disease too then Flutterscutter LOL
Libra76 is offline  
Old Jul 28th 2005, 6:31 am
  #6  
BE Enthusiast
 
Flutterscutter's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 622
Flutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud ofFlutterscutter has much to be proud of
Default Re: Feeling guilty for being so happy - anyone else?

Must be a Belgian disease too then Flutterscutter LOL [/QUOTE]


Ahhh pah!! Belgum begins with a B. Good enough for me
Flutterscutter is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.