Feeling Blue
Aug 6th 2008, 6:39 am
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15
Feeling Blue
I am not a new user,but changed my username recently as did not want OH to see my posts,this one in particular.
Briefly,we have been in Australia for just over two years.
On paper things look fine,he has a good job,although does longhours - in fact one of the many reasons we moved here was because of the long hours he was out of the home ,three hour commute etc..We thought this would improve,in fact it is pretty much the same,he is away for usually 12 hours a day.We have two small children,they maybe see him for 30 minutes a day.That's not the problem though.
His parents have been out twice since we arrived,both the Christmases we have spent here,his brother has also visited.
My family are not in a financial position to be able to do this,and my mum would not come even if we paid her flights.
Tomorrow he is off to the UK ,on his own for a holiday.Flight was part paid for by a family member.I am so upset about this.He asked me if I minded,I said yes.He is still going.He has never been homesick,while I have struggled since we arrived.I feel so jealous,then I feel angry and then I feel like breaking something.I am trying to be reasonable about this,but it is very hard.
Just feel so alone really,and can't cry or I may not stop.
Sorry.Just can't talk to anyone about this,suppose that's the beauty of the internet,nobody knows who you are.
Briefly,we have been in Australia for just over two years.
On paper things look fine,he has a good job,although does longhours - in fact one of the many reasons we moved here was because of the long hours he was out of the home ,three hour commute etc..We thought this would improve,in fact it is pretty much the same,he is away for usually 12 hours a day.We have two small children,they maybe see him for 30 minutes a day.That's not the problem though.
His parents have been out twice since we arrived,both the Christmases we have spent here,his brother has also visited.
My family are not in a financial position to be able to do this,and my mum would not come even if we paid her flights.
Tomorrow he is off to the UK ,on his own for a holiday.Flight was part paid for by a family member.I am so upset about this.He asked me if I minded,I said yes.He is still going.He has never been homesick,while I have struggled since we arrived.I feel so jealous,then I feel angry and then I feel like breaking something.I am trying to be reasonable about this,but it is very hard.
Just feel so alone really,and can't cry or I may not stop.
Sorry.Just can't talk to anyone about this,suppose that's the beauty of the internet,nobody knows who you are.
Last edited by DinkyDi; Aug 6th 2008 at 8:05 am.
Aug 6th 2008, 7:07 am
#2
Frequent Flyer Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 10,994
Re: Feeling Blue
Well it all sounds pretty unreasonable and you have reason to be upset.
But I think your OH might see your posts, including this one as he seems to post using the same account??
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...63#post6643863
But I think your OH might see your posts, including this one as he seems to post using the same account??
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...63#post6643863
Aug 6th 2008, 7:11 am
#3
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Bris
Posts: 564
Re: Feeling Blue
I bet Grahams enjoying a pint down the local right now. Selfish sod.
Aug 6th 2008, 7:16 am
#4
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15
Re: Feeling Blue
Well it all sounds pretty unreasonable and you have reason to be upset.
But I think your OH might see your posts, including this one as he seems to post using the same account??
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...63#post6643863
But I think your OH might see your posts, including this one as he seems to post using the same account??
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...63#post6643863
Aug 6th 2008, 7:28 am
#5
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,187
Re: Feeling Blue
I am not a new user,but changed my username recently as did not want OH to see my posts,this one in particular.
Briefly,we have been in Australia for just over two years.
On paper things look fine,he has a good job,although does longhours - in fact one of the many reasons we moved here was because of the long hours he was out of the home in London,three hour commute etc..We thought this would improve,in fact it is pretty much the same,he is away for usually 12 hours a day.We have two small children,they maybe see him for 30 minutes a day.That's not the problem though.
His parents have been out twice since we arrived,both the Christmases we have spent here,his brother has also visited.
My family are not in a financial position to be able to do this,and my mum would not come even if we paid her flights.
Tomorrow he is off to the UK ,on his own for a holiday.Flight was part paid for by a family member.I am so upset about this.He asked me if I minded,I said yes.He is still going.He has never been homesick,while I have struggled since we arrived.I feel so jealous,then I feel angry and then I feel like breaking something.I am trying to be reasonable about this,but it is very hard.
I feel as if this may be the last straw,as we have other problems as well.
Just feel so alone really,and can't cry or I may not stop.
Sorry.Just can't talk to anyone about this,suppose that's the beauty of the internet,nobody knows who you are.
Briefly,we have been in Australia for just over two years.
On paper things look fine,he has a good job,although does longhours - in fact one of the many reasons we moved here was because of the long hours he was out of the home in London,three hour commute etc..We thought this would improve,in fact it is pretty much the same,he is away for usually 12 hours a day.We have two small children,they maybe see him for 30 minutes a day.That's not the problem though.
His parents have been out twice since we arrived,both the Christmases we have spent here,his brother has also visited.
My family are not in a financial position to be able to do this,and my mum would not come even if we paid her flights.
Tomorrow he is off to the UK ,on his own for a holiday.Flight was part paid for by a family member.I am so upset about this.He asked me if I minded,I said yes.He is still going.He has never been homesick,while I have struggled since we arrived.I feel so jealous,then I feel angry and then I feel like breaking something.I am trying to be reasonable about this,but it is very hard.
I feel as if this may be the last straw,as we have other problems as well.
Just feel so alone really,and can't cry or I may not stop.
Sorry.Just can't talk to anyone about this,suppose that's the beauty of the internet,nobody knows who you are.
If you want to pm me for a chat feel free.
Aug 6th 2008, 7:36 am
#6
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 317
Re: Feeling Blue
Sorry to hear your feeling down, i`ve got no solutions just would like to say I feel for you ((hugs))
Aug 6th 2008, 7:40 am
#7
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Bris
Posts: 564
Re: Feeling Blue
I think you have every right to feel as you do, I would be feeling the same. You so need to try and tell him how you feel, some men seem to walk around with their heads in the sand and think that everything is ok when it clearly isn't. How would he feel if you just went a booked some tickets back to the UK even though you asked him if he minded and he said yes???
If you want to pm me for a chat feel free.
If you want to pm me for a chat feel free.
Aug 6th 2008, 7:52 am
#8
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Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 477
Re: Feeling Blue
By heck potato potato, you've jumped on that one a bit quick! She's not attacking all men, just some. In my experience "some" men are so busy providing for their family that maybe they don't see whats really happening. That is not an attack on men, its a personal view from experience, we're all entitled to our views. Lighten up man
Aug 6th 2008, 7:55 am
#9
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,187
Re: Feeling Blue
What I was trying to explain was that he may not know how deeply she feels about the issue, and for the record you know absolutely nothing about my life.
It's fine to make comments about the way someone has worded their post but please try not to be nasty about it.
Aug 6th 2008, 7:56 am
#10
Its all going south......
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Sussex
Posts: 433
Re: Feeling Blue
You are right, it's not that he's a man, it's just his make up, you get several women like this too...
But that doesn't meen it's acceptable. I have 2 children and my OH can be a bit lazy (quite a bit!
) But generally it is just because he doesn't realise. Fror instance, if i actually speak to him about it he will get his arse into gear, if i don't he just takes advantage of the fact that i do everything around the house and looking after the kids.
You need to speak to him about it, otherwise you can't blame him for being like that.
It is unreasonable for him to go alone, why can't you go too? do his family members not want to see you and the kids? or is that one of the problems.
I certainly wouldn't stand for it, We are a family and stand by each other. I think if we were in that situation, with the exception of a funeral or something, it would be all go or noone.
Anyway, i hope you get this sorted out, parhaps you could ask for him to fund a ticket for you to have a holiday
But that doesn't meen it's acceptable. I have 2 children and my OH can be a bit lazy (quite a bit!
) But generally it is just because he doesn't realise. Fror instance, if i actually speak to him about it he will get his arse into gear, if i don't he just takes advantage of the fact that i do everything around the house and looking after the kids.You need to speak to him about it, otherwise you can't blame him for being like that.
It is unreasonable for him to go alone, why can't you go too? do his family members not want to see you and the kids? or is that one of the problems.
I certainly wouldn't stand for it, We are a family and stand by each other. I think if we were in that situation, with the exception of a funeral or something, it would be all go or noone.
Anyway, i hope you get this sorted out, parhaps you could ask for him to fund a ticket for you to have a holiday
Aug 6th 2008, 7:56 am
#11
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Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Westernport Mornington Peninsula
Posts: 1,761
Re: Feeling Blue
I would be upset too. I would be very cross with the family member who paid for his holiday without including me and the children as well.
No offence to men but the man is out all day being talking to other people being stretched with work and using brain etc and its hard for the wife who does not have any time for herself or have family around with two small children at home and being in a new country is even harder.
No offence to men but the man is out all day being talking to other people being stretched with work and using brain etc and its hard for the wife who does not have any time for herself or have family around with two small children at home and being in a new country is even harder.
Aug 6th 2008, 7:59 am
#12
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Bris
Posts: 564
Re: Feeling Blue
I just don't like being attacked, as a man, for merely being born with a penis.
Aug 6th 2008, 8:00 am
#13
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Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 477
Re: Feeling Blue
I agree with comments made. It is totally unacceptable, and he isn't going to know how upset you are about it unless you tell him. By not saying anything you're leaving the doors wide open for him to treat you like this again, and again.
My OH would be walking around with the flight ticket stuck up his arse if he tried this one!!
My OH would be walking around with the flight ticket stuck up his arse if he tried this one!!
Aug 6th 2008, 8:02 am
#15
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Bris
Posts: 564
Re: Feeling Blue
I would be upset too. I would be very cross with the family member who paid for his holiday without including me and the children as well.
No offence to men but the man is out all day being talking to other people being stretched with work and using brain etc and its hard for the wife who does not have any time for herself or have family around with two small children at home and being in a new country is even harder.
No offence to men but the man is out all day being talking to other people being stretched with work and using brain etc and its hard for the wife who does not have any time for herself or have family around with two small children at home and being in a new country is even harder.