Feeling blue...
 

Morning everyone,

Well, I've nearly reached the end of my week back here at work. Returning to Jersey on Tuesday for the next round of parent-sitting.

I've not posted much since I've been back because (aside from the pile of work a 5 week absence created), I've been feeling down about the whole expats thing. Although I'm really happy for all those who have got their visas (esp WBB), somehow it also upsets me to see those posts.

If my mum hadn't got sick, we would have handed in our application at the beginning of March and we too should have been posting our 'Got It' message. Now there is such an uncertain future that I can't help getting a bit depressed about the whole thing. Just seems like we will never get to Oz :( :( :(

I know I have to look on the bright side and I know that right now other things are much more important. But we had been planning our move for 4 years, and I'd been working on that flipping application for over a year and now - nothing. It's frustrating.

So apologies if I disappear for a while - I'll be off feeling sorry for myself! I'm sure I'll get over it, it's just hard at the moment. Maybe the traumas of the last 6 weeks are catching up with me...

It will make it all the more sweeter when the day comes that you do post that "Got It" post.
Australia will still be here I promise.

I know. Doesn't make it any easier though. We were within a couple of weeks of it all being sorted.

Still, it would have been even worse if I had got my spoue visa and then found out my mum was sick...

Just got to patient. I'm not much good at that!

Hiya Bundy

Oh dear, you poor thing. I cannot even imagine how you feel at the moment. I think maybe a rest from the forum might do you good as you say it must be rotten for you hearing about everyones plans etc when you know that yours have been turned upside down - like rubbing salt into open wounds:(

Bundy, good luck with your mum. Please let us know how you are getting on from time to time - if you dont want to come on yourself you could always let someone on the forum know you are ok.

We will still be here when you come back.
Good luck.

Debs

These things in life happen. Just make the most of what you have now :)

You will get to OZ it just might be a little longer coming than you expected. But it will be all the more sweeter when you do get there :)

Bundy, I know things havent been too good for you, but you must remain focused, if not you are gonna sink even lower......I know it is easier said than done.
Stay on the forum..If only for support.
Also perhaps you can still get your application in, perhaps it will do you good, something else to concentrate on. Might help.

I can imagine it's tough! :(

Agree with Bordy, and also:
Don't forget to live now!!! Don't put your live on hold waiting for Oz!! Just make the most of things while being in Europe etc.
I know it's wierd though....

Well, I hope your mums well, and enjoy your free weekend(?) :)

must be really hard for you bundster, i would usually crack a funny or say something out of line but i don't think it would be appropriate.

chin up bundster.

:)

When you do get here we will have the biggest Party. I'm quite partial to a few Bundys & coke at the weekend.:p

Hey Bundy

Sorry to hear you're feeling blue. You're younger than most on this forum so have years on your side before you become an old git like me and others on here, on the verge of not having enough age points for a visa!

It obviously wasn't meant to be this time but don't give up on Australia.

Best wishes to BundyMum and get that fiancee of yours to take you out and cheer you up this weekend;)

The thing is, life IS on hold and it has to be until we know what's happening with my mum. At the moment, we're aiming to apply this time next year, ie delay things for a year, but who know what's going to happen. Not putting our lives on hold would mean that we just go ahead and apply and get on with moving to Oz in the summer. But that's just not practical - I can't leave my parents with all this going on. I can't leave my job (the greatest source of annoyance) because I need the security it provides. There's no point applying right now because we don't know what the next year will hold - too much is up in the air to risk spending money on the application with no idea if we can go to Oz yet.

So we'll wait. If we wait until after Oct we'll have been together 5 years and I can therefore apply straight for permanent residency. So that's a positive. Plus we'll have saved more money up, the exchange rate might be better etc etc. But we'll be a year older, and we wanted to get Oz soon to settle down and have a family. We don't own anything here in the UK, so it feels like we're drifting.

My mum doesn't want us to give up on the idea of Oz, and I know we'll get there one day, it's just tough not having a time to work towards. I've got that application sitting there, all ready to go, and it's the hardest thing knowing that I'll have to re-do a lot of it next year.

I'm trying not to be selfish, I really am, but I really didn't want to be here in the UK, and certainly not in this job for another winter...

Thanks mate.

That's the other thing - it's tough on Mr Bundy too. He's happy here, but he was also happy to be going home. He's been away from Oz for 3.5 years now - he's missing his little sister growing up. She was 8 when we left and now she's just turning 12. That's a lot to miss.

I have to keep telling myself that this is all happening for a reason, but it's still hard!

Re: Feeling blue...
 

Chin up Bundy. You've been through a hell of a time, so its not surprising if things are getting to you. I know what it was like when my dad had cancer. You try and be strong for them but sometimes just want to hibernate away from it all: Plus you have the thought of leaving Mr Bundy again and that cant be nice :(

As to australia, well my grandmother use to say - whats for you wont go by go you :)

Big Hugs

Re: Feeling blue...
 

It's true. That whole what's meant to be thing. But what if Australia is never meant to be for us? I can't cope with living in the UK much longer!

I think the fact that I'm going to be leaving Mr Bundy again has a lot to do with me being a bit glum. Sometimes I just wish I could stay here with everything back to its normal boring state. I'd love a bit of boredom right now...

Bundy, you've been positive and strong for yourself and a lot af people recently, I think we've all been amazed by how well you've done. What you're feeling now is the inevitable down period. Let and happen, try not to think too much about anything, and wait for the strength that we all know you've got to come back. It will do, you're just gonna feel a bit crap for a while till it does.

Your Mum wants you to be happy, Mr Bundy too, and as someone said, Oz isn't goin anywhere.

Dont disappear either, be happy at the "Got it" messages cos it'll be you one day too.

Ok bud! Chin up ;) :beer: :D

Thanks Loose. I can always rely on you for words of wisdom and support.

I guess this crappy period of gloom had to come sometime. I'll be okay when I'm back in Jersey looking after people again.

I swear I'm jinxed with planning! When I was 18 I swore never to plan anything ever, because plans always change and Ireckon you miss out on amazing opportunities if you have set plans. So, as a rule, I plan the bare minimum and see what happens in between - that's how I ended up living on an outback sheep station for a year with Mr Bundy! But emigrating does require the odd bit of forethought, and we had made plans. So it's just blinkin' typical that all those plans have fallen apart.

They haven't fallen apart mate, they're jusy gonna have to change a bit. But you got so far once so when you come round to doing it again it'll be twice as easy!

I'm not a planner either - I'm crap, and Mrs Loose is sooo organised. Mates take the p*ss out of me cos she manages to nag me (which I need) from thousands of soddin miles away. ;)

I know its easier said than done, but try keep your chin up, sounds like you're away from everyone a bit now, so you're not as busy, and things are maybe sinkin in a little. You're gonna be a bit down emotionally so things seem a lot worse. Keep telling yourself things are gonna get better. There'll still be tough times, but it will get better.

10 years time, you and Mr Bundy are gonna have your own country place, with hordes of little bundsters tear arsin' around in the aussie sun! ;)

Hi Bundy

I've never posted on one of your threads before - felt like I would be intruding. You've had me in tears - both happy and sad. I read today’s post and really feel for you – I do know how you feel, as I know a lot on here do who have nursed a parent with cancer. Staying focussed and looking after them is the easy(ier!) bit. You have got home and “relaxed⠀? and its inevitable that you were going to go through a down period – you have to allow yourself this downtime – its all part of the process. You are a very strong person and will always be - that wont change. Try not to be so hard on yourself - easier said than done, I know.
Good luck Bundy and thinking of you all.
Ginni
:) :) :)

Thanks Ginni,

I don't feel very strong at the moment. I'd really like to hibernate until all this is over. But I think you're right, it is part of the process. Even when things were at their worst with my mum, I never really stopped being positive. And now that things are better than expected, I've lost that positivity. I suppose that could be because there is a future now, a knowledge that this will be going on for years and that nothing will be the same again. Somehow that seems harder than the thought of my mum dying straightaway, which is bizarre.

And never fear of intruding! All those posts kept me going through the deep, dark days before my mum's full diagnosis. It's good to know there are people out there