kt.2006

We have been here two months now and it is a great place. I have never been homesick before but I already know that I want to go home. I dread the future living here. I think we had a mid-life crisis in our decision to come here and we wanted the kids to grow up in a place far away from a nearby horrible town in the UK. Now I would gladly go back.

Before we came out here another family we knew of decided to come home after only six months and I couldn't believe that they hadn't given it longer. The trouble is the longer you do leave it the more expensive and difficult it gets to go back. At the moment we are renting a furnished house off relatives so if we went back now we would not have to buy any furniture or get out of a rental agreement.

Our kids love it but me and hubby do not want to live here. This is his first time out of work and we have both found it very difficult to get jobs. I think it would definitely be a better life for the kids here but nothing can prepare you for the loss you feel leaving family and familiar things behind.
I know it has only been 2 months but the longer I stay I feel more problems could occur, especially for the kids schooling. I already feel sad that I pulled my son out of school in England in year 10 which is the start of his GCSE year to come here. I feel if we go back now I am wrecking his schooling, but if we stay and we go back later then he will be even worse off.
My daughter also loves it here but from being the popular nutty one with loads of friends she now says that she is often lonely as the other kids 'just don't get her'.
Anyone with similar worries how did you come to your decision please???
I can't believe how I feel as I have never been homesick before and thought I would cope.
Kathy

Rachel1978

Two months really isn't enough time to make this decision. Its really hard work when you first arrive. We have been here six months now and it has been hard but I am starting to feel really settled. You should at least try to give it six months, at least spend longer than it took you to get the visa.

Where abouts are you living over here, maybe a change of place might help?

diddy

All I can say Kathy is that you're not alone.

There's stacks of people on here who feel the same and plenty have made the move back.

There's another forum on here for those returning to the UK that may help you.

Two months though is a very short time and it's surprising how quickly things may change if you got jobs and a few friends.

You have to question whether if you go back, you're doing yourselves justice and whether you'll always have nagging doubts about Oz.

The reality is if you give yourselves say one year, that's not really a very long time in your life.

Either way, it's gonna be tough. Alot of people find moving here very hard especially in terms of missing friends and family, and making new genuine friends takes a long time.

Paul.

S J Jackson

Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. However it really is early days and you have moved a long way from what you know and are feeling very lost in your new environment. It is true as you say that 2 months is a very short time - your husband is not working so will be feeling uncomfortable about that and you will barely have had time to make new friends to lend an ear when you are feeling a bit down. Lots of people feel homesick and move back to the UK without giving things much of a chance only to regret it later. However some move back and are perfectly happy back in their comfortable surroundings. Only you really know whether this is the right place for you - it is difficult to know how you will feel once you are more familiar with things - whether you will feel happier or not. you need to discuss the situation with your kids and be totally honest with them about how you are feeling. You may decide as a family to give things more of a go or to cut your losses and head back. Only you can decide. Perhaps people who have gone back to the Uk in a short space of time will post and let you know whether thay thought they did the right thing or not.
My daughter was 12 when we came to Oz and as a very outgoing girl I thought she would settle a lot quicker than she eventually did. Now - can`t keep up with all her friends - she plays touch for school team, goes to the beach with her mates and whilst she still talks of missing her grandparents - I know for sure that she would miss this place and her Ozzie friends a lot more. we have been here over 2 years now and are soon to become citizens. however I have always said (it was my idea to come to Oz and I have family here) that should hubby and daughter ever get to the point where they are unhappy and want to return to the UK that we would do what is the preference of the majority!! Happily for me that has not yet become an issue.
Whatever you decide - at least you gave it a go - albeit a short one!!
Good luck - either in Oz or back in the UK.

let us all know how you are going
SJJ

C&R

I have no kids so cannot relate on that side of things. But what I can relate to is living far away in another country, like you say away from friends & family, and unfamiliar surroundings. What I can advise is, the more you try and see the positives, rather then focusing on the negatives, your life does get better, and with this attitude you can become more settled and adjusted. I went through a similar situation when we moved away, but 4 years later, this place now feels like home. It really is adjusting your whole mindset away from the Uk and being in the 'now'. I may not be making sense I know. Your primary focus seems to be concentrated on your children, and the decisions you have made for them. But maybe - and I don't mean this nastily - but maybe they cannot settle down when they see how unhappy you are? What made you come out to Australia in the first place, and why? Where are you based in Oz? I hope whatever decision you come to, turns out to be the right one for you and your children x

Billabong

I have the utmost sympathy for how you are feeling - we were lucky in that we knew that this would be where would grow old and die pretty much straight away.

However, even feeling like that doesn't take away the fact that it is hard work settling in. The kids will settle - they are very resilient. I took my kids 3 or 4 months before they finally saw this as home and you wouldn't believe the change in them from how they used to be.

You won't be handed anything on a plate and you will have to work hard to establish the kind of life you want but hey "nothing worth having is easy to get". If it was, everyone would be doing it!!

You have to give it more time - easy to say I know but we have now been here 18 months and don't regret it for a moment. Yes, we miss our old friends and family but there is just so much else to compensate for that.

Good luck with your decision

moneypenny20

Agree with everyone else in that two months can not be enough, but only you know how you feel.

With respect to your daughter. Although you have been here two months, she has only been in school two or three weeks - no way could she have made the same sort of friendships that she had in the UK. Imagine you were in the UK but moved 50 miles away - scenario would be no different. You would still be new people in a different environment and that takes getting used to.

I am sure when you find work, life will slot in the place. If you go back now, I can't help thinking you would regret it a couple of years down the line - you would still have that niggle and what if feeling.

copa

2 months is nothing. Give the place a chance.

And remember, Australia is not the UK. Believe it or not but many know this in theory, but find it hard in practise.

svinnes

I know where you are coming from. My middle son is 6 and he cries to me everyday that he wants to go home, I thought if he joined football that would make him better, So off i trudged yesterday and he just stood behind me and cried. I thought after 5 months of being here it would feel a little settled here. I do like it here but i miss people back home, I don't miss the place. To top all of this of my brother is sick in singapore awaiting heart tests today and i feel i should be there, But with my husband working offshore i can't take 3 kids there to sit round a hospital bed. It will get better, But only you know in yourself if you will settle and feel settled, Which personally my roots are back home and they will stay there. We have said we will give it 2 years and if we don't settle after that, time to go home.
Where about are you in australia?
Suzanne

KatieStar

Hi Kathy

A few weeks ago I was saying the same thing that I didn't feel happy here and I wanted to go home. It is not a very nice feeling. I started planning to go home either at the end of this year or next year. Then after a long chat with hubby he made me realise what we have here and I started to feel that our life here is better than the one we left behind.

Maybe the same will happen for you. Maybe if you leave it for a few more months you will find yourselves settling in.

I wish you and your family all the best.
Katie

Sandra

Don't panic - where are you staying maybe others in the area can meet up and help. A coffee and a decent chat can go a long way in understanding these feelings are very normal. Once you know it is quite a few of us who go through this and all have different ways of coping you may be able to make a more informed decision.

The rest of your life is a long time and it is best not to dwell on this decision being forever because it isn't. I used to make 3/6 months plan with a treat at the end of them, like a weekend away visiting somewhere nice with family, a slap up meal out or a boat trip or even a day at the races. I have now been here four years, I am not a massive fan but am enjoying the life experiences at least.

Chin UP

Lord Pom Percy

Bloody hell, going back after only 2 months is madness. Did you expect to find perfect jobs and your daughter to make millions of friends and to settle right into a foreign country after only 2 months Even 2 years is too soon to go back in my opinion. Did you seriously want to immigrate to OZ in the first place, why go to all that trouble and expense to immigrate only to go home after 2 months.

Princess Leia

Were you expecting to feel settled within 2 months when you first came out? I think there are a lot of factors here that are understandably making you feel unsettled at the moment such as no furniture of your own, a rental place, lack of stability with jobs, being in a completely new place, having to start all over again with friends etc so it is hardly surprising that you are feeling that way. I think that we probably all have very high expectations of whatever we set out to do and so when it doesn't live up to what we expected quickly then we can feel let down and disillusioned.

I hope this is not taken judgementally and this applies to me as much as to anyone else but what message does it send to our children if we give up very quickly on a pursuit when things are rough initially? I think we all would like to raise children that persist for a decent while and give it all they've got before calling it a day.

I remember when I started uni the first 3 months were horrible and I was ready to quit. But my father said some very wise words to me and I decided to stick it out. It was horrible for a whole year but then things started turning around in the second year and the third year was enjoyable. I'm so glad my father encouraged me to persist with it.

Good luck with whatever you decide. If you decide to go back now I hope everything goes smoothly with little extra expense!

PL

haggis supper

Lots of good advice on here already and I support most of the suggestions and comments.

We were fortunate in that I already had a job to go to and it was working with a former colleague from the UK. He was therefore able to help my family settle in and show me the ropes at work and socially.

Nonetheless we still suffered a real bout of home sickness after being here for 4 months. I'm sure it would have been earlier but my Mum came out for 4 weeks and then my inlaws for 6 - so we felt more settled.

When we were first alone in early January it coincided with my colleague going off on holiday for 2 weeks. All off a sudden I felt as though we knew no-one and we both felt somewhat lonely.

However that soon passed and we now have a good circle of friends (mine through work and Kim's through school). The kids are settled and we are beginning to really enjoy our lives. We still miss the UK - nothing in particular, it's just that we still feel like outsiders. We miss friends and family but we knew that before we came. Every day gets easier !

All I can suggest is to stick with it. Give it 6 months and see what happens. I'm sure things will improve.

Good luck.

chatty34

Kathy,

I have sent you a pm.
As for anyone with similar worries, I am sure there are loads of us