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family and friends reactions?????

family and friends reactions?????

Old Jul 8th 2002, 5:31 pm
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Default family and friends reactions?????

After reading a reply in another post I thought it would be
good to get everyones views opinions etc on telling the family and friends......


As for my family where do i start.........
my dad thinks it great! my mum hates the idea
sisters think im mad!!
brothers in holland so doesnt really bother him

mother in law thinks we are irresponsible....total losers..putting ourselves before the children....we'll be back within the year!! blah blah blah so on and so on......

Sister in law felt the same as her mum....

father in law said "at least thats you sorted"
her brother was supportive.... and the rest all but a few close friends...didnt think we would go!!
All I can say is no matter how hard it is or how stressed you feel if you really want something just go for it! we are doing this for the future of the kids.. well us as a family unit...better lifestyle and a future where they have a chance to make a go of it...which in my eyes is all but lost here in the u.k.

At least here on expats everyone has something in common we all want to better ourselves and quality of life...
look forward to all replys
owen 27
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Old Jul 8th 2002, 5:44 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

dont know yet
i'll find out when i phone them all up from the oz airport
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Old Jul 8th 2002, 7:05 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

hi owen


Well well well what we can we say about our famillies!!

Paul's mum thought the whole idea was a complete waste of time and would not even consider discussing it for at least 6 months because she did not want to deal with it. Dad just looked worried eveytime the idea reared it's ugly head incase mum got upset again. (They did apply and get a job and were going to go years ago but mum got cold feet and they changed their minds and stayed.) both brothers said really! but did not belive we would go through with it.

My Step dad said if he was years younger he would go for it and you only have one life so live it. My Mum just said looked at us as if we were joking. My sister said why do you want to go all that way are you mad? and my brother wants to give up his job to come with us!!!!


All of the friends we have told have said they understand why we are going but could not do it themselves.

But at the end of the day our kids future and our lives as a family come first. We are going if we get the chance.

I am sure that those doubting Thomases will be on the planes out of the country during those cold winter months to visit us.though!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old Jul 8th 2002, 7:39 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

We worried for months about telling our parents, how do you drop a subject like ‘Oh by the way, we’re migrating to Australia’ into a conversation.
After making the decision to tell everyone, it wasn’t as bad as we thought. Annie’s family had migrated to Perth back in the 70’s, but returned because it was too hot. Her sisters (3) could understand why – great opportunities and good weather.
One of my sisters migrated as a family of 4 to Brisbane 2 years ago. This made life easier telling my parents. They have been to visit my sister and family for 3 mouths this year, and can understand why we’re keen to make ago of it. They said they wish they done it years ago.
My other sister didn’t say anything, or ask any questions, I guess people handle it in there own way.
Colleagues at work have a mixed opinion, some say couldn’t leave the family, and others have said that they would go for it if they could.
Having our little boy last year made us look at life differently, at we could offer him and we feel that Australia can offer so much more.
We went to Brisbane in May and seeing the difference it has made to Paul’s sister and her family, especially the opportunities for the children this just re-affirmed our determination to go.
It is going to be the hardest thing in the world to leave our family behind here, but luckily they are supporting us in whatever we want to do.
We advise anyone in the early stages to involve your family and friends from the outset, not only will it prevent the stress of when to announce it, they will want to make the most of the time you are still in the UK – ours certainly are!

Paul, Annie & Jack
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Old Jul 8th 2002, 8:36 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

Hi guys,

Our children spilled the beans to my mum!!!...oh were gonna live in Oz..arrgghh
They told me that they had told her....
It isnt a new thing though to our family. For those of you who know me , this is the third time we as a family have been going to go to Oz...and third time lucky...we will go through with it this time. I had cold feet before.
The last time we were applying to go, we told everyone and they all said 'oh you wont go you know'..and we didnt..
So this time, my mum knows, both my brothers because she told them, and thats about it.
We will tell them when we get the visa sticker in our passports.....

Neither of my brothers have even passed comment. Kevin doesnt really care what his brother and sisters think.

Unfortunately both his parents died years ago and my dad died 3 yrs ago...so that leaves my mum...She says go for it and she will visit us when she can but i will give her the money for a couple of flights...

It is a very personal thing really deciding when to tell family and friends....maybe the children will spill the beans a bit more...but then that wouldnt be good really...I dont know...maybe we should mention it sooner
The more you think about when to tell the worse it becomes....
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Old Jul 8th 2002, 11:20 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

Hi all,

Ians dad - "I thought you would have waited till I was dead" (incidentally he is
70 and as fit as a fiddle!!). I think we can take it as read he won't be coming
to visit!!

My dad - " When do you arrive because I want to book the flights, and I've told some
friends of mine to call in for a few days on their tour of NZ." I think we can take
it as read we won't be able to get bloody rid of him!!

My mum - "Isn't the weather nice for this time of year and I'm taking the dog to the
vets next week." She has just taken her head out of the sand and in between tearful
bouts is preparing herself for a long flight!

Seriously, all of our 2 children's grandparents are deeply upset at the thought
of losing regular contact with them but also fully appreciate our motives
behind the move.

Friends and siblings - I am sure they all doubted us in the early planning stages but
are very excited for us now things look like they are happening. We are starting to
receive lots of verbal pats on the back which I also feel will reveal the order in
which we see them again!!!!!! I am convinced that at least 1 of our friends will end
up following us out!

Like all of the postings on this thread our main reason for making this move is
to achieve a more fulfilling lifestyle for us as a family and a brighter future
for the kids!

Ian, Paula, Jack & Hannah
 
Old Jul 9th 2002, 8:20 am
  #7  
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

My parents are OK about it as they tried to go a number of years ago and could'nt. My
brother & sister are probably looking forward to cheap holidays in the future. They
will all probably get over fairly frequently even though they will have to struggle
to afford it.

My wife's parents are going to be a different matter, they have had virtually nothing
to do with us since we married, but I just know that there will be no end of whining
along the lines of ' but we will never see you ' or ' what about your father ' or '
what about our grandchildren ' (none yet). They could fly over and probably not even
notice the cost but I somehow doubt they will.

As for friends etc, we are keeping the whole business very quiet just in case it does
not happen.

It's a difficult thing to leave family and friends but I fear that england is going
to the dogs rapidly and I can see no future here.

I have been to Oz 8 times and my wife twice and we know where we would rather be
right now.

P & M

Heading for Adelaide sometime very soon (we hope !)
 
Old Jul 9th 2002, 10:21 am
  #8  
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

My mum and dad took it very well. Quite supportive, though my dad has jokingly given
us 3 years before we come back. Underneath, they are very upset at us taking their
only grandchild away.

My 2 brothers were great - very keen - mind you, one lives in New York, and the other
in Thailand, so that doesn't say much.

My wifes family were mixed. Her mother is supportive, and has promised to visit
whenever she can. Her father has pretty much said he won't be coming to visit.
Ironic, given that they almost migrated to Oz years ago. Might be worth mentioning
that they are separated...... One sister made it very clear she wouldn't visit, as
for the cost of flights for her family, she could not only go to Spain, but stay in a
nice apartment! Great..... The other one was really pleased, and promised to visit.
Also ironic, given that we have lived in Hampshire for 4 years, and she hasn't once
visited us here (only 2.5 hours away!)

Friends are really excited for us, and I think it likely that we will see some of
them in the next year....most are jealous!......and some think we are totally nuts -
justifiably perhaps, as we have never even been to NZ.

We're doing it for exactly the same reasons many other people are. Want a better
future for ourselves and our son. England is going downhill fast....

Phil

"owen27" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > After reading a reply in another post I thought it would be good to get everyones
    > views opinions etc on telling the family and friends......
    >
    >
    > As for my family where do i start......... my dad thinks it great! my mum hates the
    > idea sisters think im mad!! brothers in holland so doesnt really bother him
    >
    > mother in law thinks we are irresponsible....total losers..putting ourselves before
    > the children....we'll be back within the year!! blah blah blah so on and so
    > on......
    >
    > Sister in law felt the same as her mum....
    >
    > father in law said "at least thats you sorted" her brother was supportive.... and
    > the rest all but a few close friends...didnt think we would go!! All I can say is
    > no matter how hard it is or how stressed you feel if you really want something just
    > go for it! we are doing this for the future of the kids.. well us as a family
    > unit...better lifestyle and a future where they have a chance to make a go of
    > it...which in my eyes is all but lost here in the u.k.
    >
    > At least here on expats everyone has something in common we all want to better
    > ourselves and quality of life... look forward to all replys owen 27
    >
    >
    >
    > --
    > Posted via http://britishexpats.com
 
Old Jul 9th 2002, 1:13 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

We told our family and close friends up front that we were applying, but no-one really took it seriously until we received our Visa. Then we got mixed reactions from our family. My Mum: Have you talked it over with Clair (my wife) ? No Mum, I just decided we were going without telling her ! Jeez. My Dad didn't say that much, although he never does. But they will visit. My brother was well pleased, my sister not too happy. Clair's Mum was pretty upset, and has said she won't travel that far. She also keeps ringing us whenever she sees something negative about Oz in the media, I guess she thinks she might be able to change our minds. Clair's Dad is fine about it (along with his girlfriend), and they will visit as aften as possible, they love Oz. Clair's sister is also fine, although I wouldn't expect too see her visiting anytime soon.

As for the general issue about moving away from the family, we made the break about 4 years ago, and moved to Germany (all the rest of our familys still live in the same area of South East England). At the most people come out once or twice a year (and for some, never, despite the 90 minute flight). I know Australia is a lot further away, and a lot more expensive, but the point is that we don't have the same issue of dragging the kids away from their grandparents, it's not like they see them every week. So in that sense, it should be easier on everyone. Having said that, we've had Clair's Mum, and Clair's Dad's girlfriend in tears when they left after visiting us last time, and my Mum & Dad are out visiting next week. There'll probably be a few more tears when they leave, not looking forward to that...

Cheers,
Paul.
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 1:20 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

Hi everyone,

The family have all been told, we have the visas and plan to go in January. Our
problem is this: the children don't know! When do we tell them? They are 7, 5 and
3.I'm guessing once they know - the older one will be packing his little rucksack,
toys etc, the middle one will be constantly wanting to know "when are we going?",
little one won't care as long as Barbie can come. Generally driving us bonkers!!

Any thoughts on how to make is easy?

Louise
 
Old Jul 9th 2002, 3:48 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

We also haven't told our kids yets (12, 8 and 6). We've been in this process now for 16 months, we have our visas and are going to Perth in Jan 03. Like you probably, we didin't tell them in case it didn't happen, also the 2 young ones don't really have a sense of time yet, so whether it was 12 months or 2 months away this would'nt make a lot of difference. Plus we didn't tell our parents until we had the visas and didn't want he ids blurting it out. Our stuff is getting packed up and shipped end Oct, so then will be the time to tell since the kids will start wondering why they have to sleep on the floor and have McDonalds every night! 2/3 months we feel will give them enough time to adjust to the idea.

Finch
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 4:31 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

excellent system finch
i'm into the 'need to know' program
the only people that need to know are the people who are going
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 5:06 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

rday

Can't wait to see the look on their faces though!
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 6:07 pm
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

We told our son immediately, figuring he would take it on board in a mature way. Sure enough, he smiled and laughed and went back to running around madly and playing with his wooden blocks. But then, he is only one and a half!

All the best
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Old Jul 10th 2002, 4:56 am
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Default Re: family and friends reactions?????

I have not yet received my visa, but my family and friends know (dad excluded.. would not notice if I had escaped the country anyway) that I have applied. My son who is 15 also knows and is looking forward to it more and more, trying not to get excited. He has been aware of every piece of paper that I have sent, every tear I have shed in sheer frustration trying to get the paper work together and with only 2 pieces of paper left (court order and police check) I will be able to chill out waiting for the hopefully good news, and enjoy the time I have left with my family. My sister is already saving her pennies to get over with what will be her new husband, my mother is her usual 'have passport will travel' and my best mate is also saving her money and booking her mother in law to have the kids for a month next year. Admittedly I have had the tears, but only from my mate. I have no worries about turning my back on the UK, I will miss the people I leave behind, but I know that they will be with my son, hubby and I as soon as they can. My only hope is that I have unpacked before the onslaught hahahahaha. Only 4 more little people to tell, and to be honest they are going to be the hardest. My Neices and Nephews. Once the visa has been granted (fingers crossed) I have planned to take them for dinner and let them know. Anyone wanna swap places? They idolise my son WAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Good luck to those who are waiting, and well done and congrats to those who have already got :-)

I wanna be posting my good news soon!

Yvonne (another one)
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