Family being annoying...any advice?
#1
Family being annoying...any advice?
Hi all,
My family are being annoying over my decision to move to Oz! I know families are supposed to be annoying but still, this is really bothering me at the moment!
My sister text me yesterday asking why we're waiting 'so long' before we move (we're planning on the end of next year). If it were her (of course) she'd just pack up and leave. She's not being facetious, she has lived in the US and moved back to Ireland so she knows what's involved. I've explained about how long it takes to get a visa etc but it goes in one ear and out the other. I've explained how we want to have a few bob with us when we go and have no debt left in the Uk (seems sensible to me) but she's just not having it.
Then there's the Mother, who can't understand why we don't just get a years visa (um, coz we're not 24??) and go to see if we'd like it. i've explained why we don't want to do this, again in one ear and out the other. THEN she saw a guy in TV (wait for it) who got a visa in two weeks, plus a free house and a free car from the Aussie government and was able to move no problem so why can't we do that? I mean, this is an intelligent, relatively sane woman! I've told her how the visa system works but, despite knowing absolutely nothing about it herself, she thinks i'm somehow missing the point and just not looking in the right places for the information on how to get a free house and a free car!
I feel like my OH and I are under pressure to explain ourselves and why we're not moving faster! Give me one of the families who actually doesn't want their kids to move! It's really getting to me at the moment as they second guess everything we say and question all of our plans. They don't actually listen to what we're saying and more importantly, don't actually know anything about the subject.
rant over, i think i'll go have a lie down.....
Tx
My family are being annoying over my decision to move to Oz! I know families are supposed to be annoying but still, this is really bothering me at the moment!
My sister text me yesterday asking why we're waiting 'so long' before we move (we're planning on the end of next year). If it were her (of course) she'd just pack up and leave. She's not being facetious, she has lived in the US and moved back to Ireland so she knows what's involved. I've explained about how long it takes to get a visa etc but it goes in one ear and out the other. I've explained how we want to have a few bob with us when we go and have no debt left in the Uk (seems sensible to me) but she's just not having it.
Then there's the Mother, who can't understand why we don't just get a years visa (um, coz we're not 24??) and go to see if we'd like it. i've explained why we don't want to do this, again in one ear and out the other. THEN she saw a guy in TV (wait for it) who got a visa in two weeks, plus a free house and a free car from the Aussie government and was able to move no problem so why can't we do that? I mean, this is an intelligent, relatively sane woman! I've told her how the visa system works but, despite knowing absolutely nothing about it herself, she thinks i'm somehow missing the point and just not looking in the right places for the information on how to get a free house and a free car!
I feel like my OH and I are under pressure to explain ourselves and why we're not moving faster! Give me one of the families who actually doesn't want their kids to move! It's really getting to me at the moment as they second guess everything we say and question all of our plans. They don't actually listen to what we're saying and more importantly, don't actually know anything about the subject.
rant over, i think i'll go have a lie down.....
Tx
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 2,949
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
I know exactly how you feel! Everyone has an opinion on a subject most of them know very little about. We have had similar comments such as "Why does it take so long to move to Oz when people can move to England no problem?" "Why do you have to pay so much money?" "Why do you need a medical?" "Why are you selling the house? Why not rent it out incase you want to come back?":curse:
Everything you do is scrutinised by people who are jealous or think there comments are harmless.
My advice would be to say "We've looked into all aspects of the move. Taken PROFESSIONAL advice. And this is the route we are now going down."
My dad (bless him!) thinks that all expats that move to Australia earn 20p a week and that the cost of living is thousands a week!
Hang in there, I'm sure it'll get better soon!
Everything you do is scrutinised by people who are jealous or think there comments are harmless.
My advice would be to say "We've looked into all aspects of the move. Taken PROFESSIONAL advice. And this is the route we are now going down."
My dad (bless him!) thinks that all expats that move to Australia earn 20p a week and that the cost of living is thousands a week!
Hang in there, I'm sure it'll get better soon!
#3
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
give me that than the emotional crap any day
my advice is just let it blow over your head and keep on chanting "i am a great person" and remember it wont be forever, before you know it they are all on the other side of the world
my advice is just let it blow over your head and keep on chanting "i am a great person" and remember it wont be forever, before you know it they are all on the other side of the world
#4
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
I love threads like this, I feel absurdly comforted.
Questions such as 'Haven't you gone to Oz yet?' (no you daft bitch, you are talking to me in Oxford Street so how the shitting hell can I be in Australia?)
'My friend went to Oz and couldn't get on with the flies so she came back home, you won't like it - not with the flies' (Perhaps she didn't give the flies a chance, they have feelings you know and generally get on with everyone - even smelly people)
'So you are still serious about this Australia thing then?' (After 2 HIV tests/TB tests and medicals, 2 police checks and a couple of grand later, yep I think we are)
'So are you going just for a few months holiday?' (Well we bought a one way ticket you know)
'I can't understand why you would want to leave all of this!' and then they will point around to your surroundings - tube train/rail bridge that is not safe to walk over at night)
'I think you are being incredibly cruel/selfish and I don't reckon that you will go to be honest, nope you will never go, you are not that selfish' (Flights booked, cat sorted, contracts ended - yep I think we are going)
Sweet God on a bike, someone give me strength to last the next 8 weeks
Questions such as 'Haven't you gone to Oz yet?' (no you daft bitch, you are talking to me in Oxford Street so how the shitting hell can I be in Australia?)
'My friend went to Oz and couldn't get on with the flies so she came back home, you won't like it - not with the flies' (Perhaps she didn't give the flies a chance, they have feelings you know and generally get on with everyone - even smelly people)
'So you are still serious about this Australia thing then?' (After 2 HIV tests/TB tests and medicals, 2 police checks and a couple of grand later, yep I think we are)
'So are you going just for a few months holiday?' (Well we bought a one way ticket you know)
'I can't understand why you would want to leave all of this!' and then they will point around to your surroundings - tube train/rail bridge that is not safe to walk over at night)
'I think you are being incredibly cruel/selfish and I don't reckon that you will go to be honest, nope you will never go, you are not that selfish' (Flights booked, cat sorted, contracts ended - yep I think we are going)
Sweet God on a bike, someone give me strength to last the next 8 weeks
Last edited by Cheetah7; Jan 8th 2008 at 2:38 pm.
#5
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
I love threads like this, I feel absurdly comforted.
Questions such as 'Haven't you gone to Oz yet?' (no you daft bitch, you are talking to me in Oxford Street so how the shitting hell can I be in Australia?)
'My friend went to Oz and couldn't get on with the flies so she came back home, you won't like it - not with the flies' (Perhaps she didn't give the flies a chance, they have feelings you know and generally get on with everyone - even smelly people)
'So you are still serious about this Australia thing then?' (After 2 HIV tests/TB tests and medicals, 2 police checks and a couple of grand later, yep I think we are)
'So are you going just for a few months holiday?' (Well we bought a one way ticket you know)
'I can't understand why you would want to leave all of this!' and then they will point around to your surroundings - tube train/rail bridge that is not safe to walk over at night)
'I think you are being incredibly cruel/selfish and I don't reckon that you will go to be honest, nope you will never go, you are not that selfish' (Flights booked, cat sorted, contracts ended - yep I think we are going)
Sweet God on a bike, someone give me strength to last the next 8 weeks
Questions such as 'Haven't you gone to Oz yet?' (no you daft bitch, you are talking to me in Oxford Street so how the shitting hell can I be in Australia?)
'My friend went to Oz and couldn't get on with the flies so she came back home, you won't like it - not with the flies' (Perhaps she didn't give the flies a chance, they have feelings you know and generally get on with everyone - even smelly people)
'So you are still serious about this Australia thing then?' (After 2 HIV tests/TB tests and medicals, 2 police checks and a couple of grand later, yep I think we are)
'So are you going just for a few months holiday?' (Well we bought a one way ticket you know)
'I can't understand why you would want to leave all of this!' and then they will point around to your surroundings - tube train/rail bridge that is not safe to walk over at night)
'I think you are being incredibly cruel/selfish and I don't reckon that you will go to be honest, nope you will never go, you are not that selfish' (Flights booked, cat sorted, contracts ended - yep I think we are going)
Sweet God on a bike, someone give me strength to last the next 8 weeks
HAHAHA!! this is priceless!! glad to know it's not just me being bombarded with the stupid questions then!! another one my mother thought would be a great idea would for me to get a (and I quote) 'nice little job in a shop' to keep me going. Evidently I am going to forget my degrees and become a trophy wife when we move to Oz. Appanrelty I won't have any career there at all. Not sure why exactly but she has all but ruled out me getting a 'proper' job! Thank goodness I married an accountant then eh??! :curse:
thanks all!!
Therese
#6
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 2,949
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
HAHAHA!! this is priceless!! glad to know it's not just me being bombarded with the stupid questions then!! another one my mother thought would be a great idea would for me to get a (and I quote) 'nice little job in a shop' to keep me going. Evidently I am going to forget my degrees and become a trophy wife when we move to Oz. Appanrelty I won't have any career there at all. Not sure why exactly but she has all but ruled out me getting a 'proper' job! Thank goodness I married an accountant then eh??! :curse:
thanks all!!
Therese
thanks all!!
Therese
#7
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
My mums's classic was...'what do you want to go there for? there is too much graffiti'.........now considering she had never left the UK, not sure where her information came from.
#9
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
Ah know the feeling soooo well. Here's a few we had:
It wouldn't be for me, I'm more into family....
But sure your husband's English, you wouldn't need an Australian visa....
Ah you're not still going on with that are you...?
You won't stick it long - the heat is desperate.......
I could go on - but you get the picture
WTF? Keeping in mind that most of the above came from people who had barely left Galway, never mind Ireland...
It wouldn't be for me, I'm more into family....
But sure your husband's English, you wouldn't need an Australian visa....
Ah you're not still going on with that are you...?
You won't stick it long - the heat is desperate.......
I could go on - but you get the picture
WTF? Keeping in mind that most of the above came from people who had barely left Galway, never mind Ireland...
#10
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
I think people get a bit jealous to be honest. It can make them uncomfortable as it exposes their lack of get up and go, adventure, etc. I'm sure there's plenty who'd love to give another country a go but for one reason (excuse?) or another don't.
#11
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
My mum is being an ostrich at the moment and sticking her head in the sand!!! She just changes the subject when we talk about it.
I think because we are going on a student visa, she is secretly hoping that they won't give it to us or that OH hates his course and wants to come back!!! She should know that we never give up!!!
I think because we are going on a student visa, she is secretly hoping that they won't give it to us or that OH hates his course and wants to come back!!! She should know that we never give up!!!
#12
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
Ah know the feeling soooo well. Here's a few we had:
It wouldn't be for me, I'm more into family....
But sure your husband's English, you wouldn't need an Australian visa....
Ah you're not still going on with that are you...?
You won't stick it long - the heat is desperate.......
I could go on - but you get the picture
WTF? Keeping in mind that most of the above came from people who had barely left Galway, never mind Ireland...
It wouldn't be for me, I'm more into family....
But sure your husband's English, you wouldn't need an Australian visa....
Ah you're not still going on with that are you...?
You won't stick it long - the heat is desperate.......
I could go on - but you get the picture
WTF? Keeping in mind that most of the above came from people who had barely left Galway, never mind Ireland...
Haha!!
Isn’t it so annoying though how patronising people can be, as if you’re just having a little mid life crisis or something (at 35??!) and that you’ll get over it somehow?
Saying that, I’ve been vegetarian for 18 years and my mother still refers to it as a ‘phase’….LOL!
All the best to everyone and our insane families….
T
#13
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 6
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
Hey there, im 25 and heading out on a years working visa in april. Generaly my family were cool about the whole thing and encouraged me for it but......
THE GRANNY!! Oh no here we have a different ball game!! She is convinced that every single beach in Oz is shark infested, that snakes come up your plug holes in your bath (sharks too ha). And then the usual one "Far of fields always look green".
However it hasnt and will not deter me.
All the best, Ryan.
THE GRANNY!! Oh no here we have a different ball game!! She is convinced that every single beach in Oz is shark infested, that snakes come up your plug holes in your bath (sharks too ha). And then the usual one "Far of fields always look green".
However it hasnt and will not deter me.
All the best, Ryan.
#14
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
My Nana-in-law asked us "what you need a visa for?, you just go to Australia House and sign up for the family emigration, that's what we did" yeah in the sixties. Bless
Our families are also keen for us to go sooner than later, Mother-in-law keeps asking if she can book flights for next christmas yet.
Our families are also keen for us to go sooner than later, Mother-in-law keeps asking if she can book flights for next christmas yet.
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Narangba Qld
Posts: 234
Re: Family being annoying...any advice?
I love threads like this, I feel absurdly comforted.
Questions such as 'Haven't you gone to Oz yet?' (no you daft bitch, you are talking to me in Oxford Street so how the shitting hell can I be in Australia?)
'My friend went to Oz and couldn't get on with the flies so she came back home, you won't like it - not with the flies' (Perhaps she didn't give the flies a chance, they have feelings you know and generally get on with everyone - even smelly people)
'So you are still serious about this Australia thing then?' (After 2 HIV tests/TB tests and medicals, 2 police checks and a couple of grand later, yep I think we are)
'So are you going just for a few months holiday?' (Well we bought a one way ticket you know)
'I can't understand why you would want to leave all of this!' and then they will point around to your surroundings - tube train/rail bridge that is not safe to walk over at night)
'I think you are being incredibly cruel/selfish and I don't reckon that you will go to be honest, nope you will never go, you are not that selfish' (Flights booked, cat sorted, contracts ended - yep I think we are going)
Sweet God on a bike, someone give me strength to last the next 8 weeks
Questions such as 'Haven't you gone to Oz yet?' (no you daft bitch, you are talking to me in Oxford Street so how the shitting hell can I be in Australia?)
'My friend went to Oz and couldn't get on with the flies so she came back home, you won't like it - not with the flies' (Perhaps she didn't give the flies a chance, they have feelings you know and generally get on with everyone - even smelly people)
'So you are still serious about this Australia thing then?' (After 2 HIV tests/TB tests and medicals, 2 police checks and a couple of grand later, yep I think we are)
'So are you going just for a few months holiday?' (Well we bought a one way ticket you know)
'I can't understand why you would want to leave all of this!' and then they will point around to your surroundings - tube train/rail bridge that is not safe to walk over at night)
'I think you are being incredibly cruel/selfish and I don't reckon that you will go to be honest, nope you will never go, you are not that selfish' (Flights booked, cat sorted, contracts ended - yep I think we are going)
Sweet God on a bike, someone give me strength to last the next 8 weeks
and we get the other one " have you not sold your house yet"
do they reaaly think we'd still be here if we had!
Lorna