cresta57

I don't think it is jealousy I think in a lot of cases it's down to selfishness.
When our son asked if he could go sailing with my folks for a while in N.Z Deb thought it was an excellent idea, it would "broaden his horizons" and sailing from NZ to Fiji, Tonga, NC and finally Australia would be the highlight of a 9 yr olds life. I was a little worried as to whether my folks could cope with a young lad after sailing alone for 7 yrs but agreed with Deb as to the benefits.
When we told friends and family some were horrified and the question asked was, will you miss him? Yes of course we missed him!! Some we told said that they would never let their son go as they would miss him too much, others even said we obviously didn't love our son or we would never have let him go.
Whilst we both love our son to bits, both of us had difficult times without him, that was down to just missing him, in other words putting our feelings before his.
Families are no different they will miss you and rather than be pleased for you they grow to resent the fact your leaving. It's the thought of you not being there for them that hurts not the feelings of jealousy more selfishness I think.

glittababe

Thanks Debsy and Cresta. Selfishness is about right! Had an email from my other sister (always the neutral one) to say shes thrilled we're coming back for xmas! She said to ignore comments from rest of family! Apparently rumours have been rife through the family grapevine! At one point we weren't apparently living here at all! We were sat in a caravan somewhere in the UK (and to think we've never even been in a caravan)! Some families are just horrible and both myself and neutral sis agree that we've got one of them! Families really can make you want to leave the country!!!!

cadman

Hang in there, make the effort and invite people for Xmas, if they don't come sod em. Enjoy your 3 mths back seeing friends and the rellies who want to see you, make the most of it and then get back to Oz and the sunshine cos after 3 mths of wind cold and rain here you'll be glad to go.

The stories being circulated about you living in a caravan somewhere in the UK while pretending to have gone to Oz ! classic !

Andy

soapy©

oh , u could have fun with the rumour.
you could say things like.......last week we were sitting in the carav, err house and the weather...blah blah. or mention that someone u havent seen for years looks good
mention how cold it was this week, or the cost of something in asda
yeh i would have a good laugh with this rumour.
dont let them get u down. rmrb u can escape again in 3 months

soapy

glittababe

I could let them think it for years and years! Maybe I could be somewhere like........I don't know, Lowestoft or up in Scotland, sat in a rocking chair wrapped in a tarten blanket, my only source or heat from one of those electric bar heaters! Ok imagination getting as wild as my family! Starting to see brighter side of it now! Called my nan and the first thing she said to me was "where are you love? You sound like your just next door!" Now is she in on the rumour or am I now officially paranoid? (as a logical and realistic thinker I'd go with the paranoid) Damn the family!!! Email from neutral sister says "can't wait to see you for xmas and its going to snow!" See theres always a silver lining!

soapy©

buy them something for chrismas from the uk and tell them u got it oz

suebo

YES YES YES. We originally left to get away from Hubbys family - they were forever trying to cause trouble between us. Unfortunately my family have to suffer for it

glittababe

Noticed at our local post office you can send 'Australian Hugs' - little pottery creatures with aussie flags, beer and a cork hat! Was so tempted to buy a few and post them on! Seriously though I feel like it just gets worst. Plan in UK was to rent house next door to sisters for 3 mths while we sorted out ours and sold it (can't live there at present as waiting for tenants to move out). However my sister has decided to go all strange and is deliberately putting off the landlord! Had a concerned phonecall from him asking about my children! I said they're good kids, why???? He said after speaking with my sister he'll have to board up all the features of the property like the fires (hang on isn't it chilly in the UK at the moment)! I said ok then asked why and he replied "safety really don't want them starting fires"!!!!! What the????? Ohhh give us a break please! If my sister doesn't want me living next door why doesn't she just come out with it? Its 2 am here and I need a

cadman

I take it that's not the sister who's looking forward to spending Xmas with you then ?

glittababe

Spot on! Makes me laugh as she spent so much time pleading with me not to go!!! Maybe it was a bit of reverse psychology? Anyway its 2 am here and as we'll be homeless when we get to UK I sharen't be sleeping tonight! Anyone know of any campsites in essex?

cadman

There must be other rentals available in the area, pref. near your friendlier sister ? I suppose the short term 3 months is a bit of a problem?

Don't worry about it tonight, get drunk or go to bed, or both!

glittababe

Stayed up all night making enquiries! Its the 3 mth thing thats doing it! It'll be alright in the end! Feel like my family are saying to me "you buggered off to the sun, sea, sand and surf, so now....we're gonna make you suffer"! B@st@rds!!!!

nursenancy

Ahhh mate that just about sums it up. Some families are so deep with jelously and resentment that they do stuff like this. Wish there was something I could do to help (I have a tent)! It'll work out alright in the end, things always do. You have to think about your kids though, is there anyone else you can stay with? After 3 mths you'll be so relieved to get back here!!!! Bugger them, they can stay in their own sad little worlds! I'll buy you a !

cadman

That's exactly what they're saying. You put us through all that pain and we could do nothing about it, now it's our turn.

As far as the 3 month lease goes I know it's a problem cos we tried to get one between houses.
Can you not get a 6 month one and then just disappear after 3?
leave the place tidy, up to date with the rent and write the landlord a letter explaining you've had to go back to Oz?

glittababe

Worth a thought? He'd hardly come chasing me across the globe (well unless he's a stalker)! My nice sister is still trying to sort the landlord out, I think it'll go ahead (with fires boarded up), but then I have to live next door to schizo sis for 3 mths (I'll bolt the doors)! Incidentally the cricket looked good at the Gabba today!!! Had a great day strolled through Southbank markets and took kids to the science centre! trying to take my mind off whats happening in UK!