dave7370

(I've left this thread in the Immigration forum as well because I am desparate for advice.)

I left a post yesterday with regard to problems I'm having with my ex-partner. Since yesterday things have escalated whereby she wants a legal agreement drawn up in regard to the maintenance I pay for my son (who's not emigrating).

I don't pay through the CSA and have had an arrangement ever since he was born and have never missed one payment. I can see her possible point of view whereby she probably thinks that once I've moved, out of sight, out of mind and I won't pay any maintenance. That is not the kind of person I am, and I will always provide for my son if I am able to do so.

Would this agreement be worth the paper its written on once I'm no longer a resident of the UK? I know with the CSA once you've moved there's not much if anything they can do. Any help on this matter would be appreciated as she's threatening to not let my son have his meds which will cause us no end of hassle.

Many thanks,

Dave

skye

We are in the same boat! - dont know the answer - if its drawn up through solicitors then it may have some clout once you leave.... let us know how you get on - good luck!

nev_n_angie

Hi Dave - why is your son having meds if he's not going?? Slightly confused??

Anyway, It's not the end of the world! The agreement you have now should still stand - if she's concerned about you 'disappearing' then it's very easy to go to a solicitor and get an agreement made. Were you married? Is there a statement of arrangements for children??

I am currently on the other end of this - I am taking the kids - re-married now etc - going through the courts to get order for permission to remove the children form the juristiction etc. My ex was sh*tty at forst - which I can understand - but we're sorted. The kids live with me and my hubby and have done since day one. We have told him not to pay any child support and to use it to save up to come and see them - no probs.

Go to see someone for an intial consultation - I would recommend speaking to the family courts directly though - solicitors have a licence to print money in my experience!! You may be able to do this by mutual agreemment.

The CSA can contact you where ever you are - but I wouldn't recommend that route unless you have to - they are pretty pants at most things and tend to cock things up!

I hope this helps

Angie

skye

it states for visa applications - all dependents under 18 even if they are not coming with you need to have medicals - we too found this strange and have not mentioned it YET.......

Wendy

Kids who aren't migrating need medicals for a few reasons. Off the top of my head one of them is

You all (except your child who isn't going) passed your medicals for your visa and you were leaving a severly handicapped child behind and something happened to their other parent, you would be responsible for that child.

So you have a life here, maybe are citizens or whatever so you apply for a child visa. For some visa's there is no medical requirements and you could then apply for your severly handicapped child to migrate to Australia and be a burden on the tax payer.

I don't know all the ins and outs of it all, but you get the idea

dave7370

Thank you to all who've replied.

I think my next course of action will be to take somekind of legal advice and see where I stand.

Even if in the end I sign something that means nothing once we move, at least she'll think shes won and feel like shes got one over on me.

canifixit

Or (more cynically)to stop you from leaving your severely handicapped child with relatives until after you had validated your visa and then having them brought over.

Wendy

Exactly

canifixit

Dave,
I have on occasions had to use the services of solicitors for situations other than house sales (i'm not a criminal by the way) and can offer you the following advice:-

It cost a lot of money.

Time and time again the best course of action is to converse before cost.
You say you will pay for your son, why don't you put to paper what you have just posted here (not the getting even bit). See what happens and if that does'nt work then pay for the solicitor to draft up a letter explaining your intentions after migrating.
By the way any contract that is signed wether legally binding or not is hard enough to enforce in Britain let alone another country, although if your sentiments are right (which I beleive they are) then you would honour the contract and spend the rest of your life knowing you have done right by your son.

canifixit

Very refreshing. Good on you.

kevnew1

Dave,
I can only offer a little information with regards to your child not having medicals done.
I found myself in the same predicament and asked the Oz Embassy in London, by e-mail, for guidance. They replied that this is a common problem for absent parents and suggested the following course of action.

Send letter to mother informing of the reasons for the medical, highlight the fact that a sucessful application does NOT entitle you to take the child to Oz without the primary carers permission. If you should get a negative or no reply send a second letter.

If you still get no co-operation go to a solicitor specialising in family affairs. Ask for a letter from solicitor requesting help from mother. (This cost me £150.00)

Include copies of all letters including the receipt for sending all letters by recorded delivery (only £1 a shot) in your DIMIA application.

If you are using an agent instruct them to include the evidence with a covering letter explaining that despite your best efforts you obtained no assistance from the primary carer.

You WILL need to obtain an original copy of your childs birth certificate, this can be done online http://www.gov-certificates.co.uk/?g...FQTnEAodV0Iezg . (I think the cost was £35.00 ish?) without contacting the mother.

This method seems to have worked for me and a few others on here. Feel free to pm me if you need any more details

Best of luck and keep smiling.

Kev

Best regards

Kev.

thebears

Dave it sounds like she is worried and its a matter of overcoming her fear. How you do that? My approach would be to sit down with her and discuss how this existing agreement can be ratified in Oz ie via a local lawyer - get her to help you. It appears your intentions are honourable and its only a case of confidence for her. Having the agreement updated in Oz cant be that hard?? but I am not one with a legal background but thats by 2 pence worth.

dave7370

I'm going to seek legal advice on this matter as it's too important to get wrong. Whether any legal agreement has any standing once I leave the UK will be interesting to find out.

Whether it does or it doesn't have any standing, provided I'm happy with the advice I get, I'll just go with whatever she wants (to a degree). If it means I get the meds done and me and my family can get to where we want to be it's got to be good in the long run.

Thanks for all the replies,

Dave