OzTennis

I sat down to watch the Germany vs Holland match last night on the BBC. I wondered when and how many times Motty (John Motson) would bring England into the commentary. Not long to wait and ad infinitem were the answers to the question, here's a few examples:

M: There's lots of Dutch supporters at the match tonight, not as many as England had against France!
M: (Frings has scored direct from a free kick) That was just like the goal Beckham scored against ......... That was just like the goal Van Der Saar let in for Fulham ......
M: Germany are leading 1-0, we all know how dangerous a 1-0 lead can be (followed by the usual Motty ha, ha, ha)
M: (Germany bring on a young substitute) And here comes the German Wayne Rooney, but of course Wayne is a year younger.
M: (Holland bring on Pierre Van Hoojdonk as substitute) Van Hoojdonk played for Nottingham Forest (conveniently forgets to mention his 2 years at Celtic)
M: The Germans are having trouble with Van Hoojkonk defending high balls, of course we have Ledley King and John Terry, so no problem for us.
M: This game is not as good as England vs France!
M: Paul Scholes, Sven Goran Eriksson, Michael Owen, 1966, Uncle Tom Cobleigh and all................etc, etc, etc ........................

M: Oh and for those interested in the Germany vs Holland match it finished 1-1 (I made that one up)

Gggrrrrr!

Anyone else get suitably annoyed? And yes, I know Australian, Scottish and other commentators can go overboard. Remember the priceless Norwegian commentator 'Maggie Thatcher, Winston Churchill, Clement Atlee etc, we gave your boys one hell of a beating'?

I won't be watching England vs Switzerland (tennis match, I'd watch it otherwise) but I wonder how many times Motty will work Germany and Holland into the commentary?

OzTennis

chippy

I'm sure this is all true, but me and Chippy jnr miss Motson(wouldn't mind betting you would too). He was our fav. The commentry out here is by an Englishman, but the guy is so non-descript I can't even remember his name. Motson rules.

Gazza

Hi Oz,

I did enjoy Clive Tyldesley remarking during the England v France game (when England were 1-0 near the end) that Jaques Santini had better get used to getting stick for losing against England when he's sitting in all the away dugouts next season with Spurs)

Hope you enjoy some classic quotes from Gordon Strachan:

Gary Lineker - So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play Strachan - If I was English I'd top masel.......... _ (BBC yesterday)

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan: I don't care, I'm Scottish.

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Reporter: Gordon, Agustin Delgado?
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...

Reporter: So. Gordon. Any plans for Europe?
Strachan: Me and the wife were thinking Spain in August...

Sausage

hehe brilliant quotes!!!!

OzTennis

Clive Tyldesley - oh well, we'll just have to beat them in the final (after England lost)
Clive Tyldesley - 'England are bossing the game' (must be watching a different one to me!); Sir Bobby Robson sitting alongside Clive says 'they're all over us and we're tiring, I wish the game would end now' - 20 minutes to go.

OzTennis

OzTennis

Strachan is brilliant with his comments - another player Fergie forced out of Man Utd too!

OzTennis

Kendonakasaki

After reading your comments on Motty one would think you were a little jealous or anti-english..............what I can't for the life of me understand is why they invite Alan Hansen and Gordon Strachan onto these shows for when neither could care less what England do.

I must admit to liking Strachan's wit though, very quick and funny.

p8c

You missed out the one at the start ... it had to be there ...

Motson: Oliver Khan has quite a worried look on his face. The last time he had a face like that was the 5-1 game in munich

Very annoying

young_lad

Funny you raised this today OzTennis. There's a little section in today's freebie Melbourne newspaper devoted to whether Eddie McGuire is on too much on TV here. 5 nights a week apparently

OzTennis

Eddie McGuire just goes on and on about Collingwood, not Australia and I don't like him as a commentator either.

OzTennis

OzTennis

It is the BBC not the EBC so Hansen and Strachan's presence doesn't need to be justified. But, Hansen is (apparently) popular with the female viewers, Strachan's wit is justification and both played the game at the highest level. I guess you need to be non-English to know why Motty, Tyldesley etc can be annoying.

OzTennis

soapy©

I remember watching a game once. England had been dumped out of the competition. I stupidly thought, well we wont need to listen to the commentators ranting now. Silly me, the ref was English!!!! He spent most of the game comparing decisions he had made in the game to ones he had made in the premiership.

DaveC

Hansen is practically English anyway. When analysing the England team he frequently refers to them as "we".

Jimbo9

This is nothing compared to Japan 2002 - Motson made so many repeated references along the lines of "those of you back home tucking into your bacon & eggs" refering to the time zone differences. It was getting embarassing - he literally said it over and over. Eventually some producer or someone told him and he apologized

Bordy

Is Big Gordon Smith still in the Media ???
Went to school with him in Ayrshire before he went on to Play for Killie & Rangers.