Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Hi All,
I have been on here and have learnt a great deal and have read a lot of great stuff that will help me when me and my family move to Perth on 30.12.07. I wanted to try and give something back.

I found this useful and hopefully it will help people prepare and understand the migration process.

1. Honeymoon Phase.
Most people begin with great expectations and a positive mind-set. There is excitement, new sights, new smells, new tastes and the early problems are experienced as quaint - as part of the newness - anything new is intriguing and exciting. And, anyway, there are more pressing problems to deal with, like opening bank accounts, getting drivers licences, finding schools, doctors, dentists, gynaecologists. These are usually handled with the accompanying euphoria of having overcome each of these first hurdles successfully.


2. Rejection Phase.
The honeymoon phase comes to an end as the newcomer has to deal with transportation problems (buses that don't come on time), shopping problems (can't buy their favourite foods or soaps or whatever) or communication problems (just what does 'Norny-norny-norn mean? (1999). What does "See ya' later"/'No worries mate' really mean?). Little things come up but it may start to seem like people somehow no longer care about your problems. They may help, but they don't seem to understand your concern over what they see as small problems. You might even start to think that the people in your new country don't like newcomers and often you may begin to feel aggressive and start to complain about the new culture/country - 'Australians are ' ', or 'The system is ''. It is important to recognize that these feelings are real and can become acute. This phase is a crisis phase in the 'disease' of culture shock and is called the "rejection" phase precisely because it is at this point that the newcomer starts to reject the host country, complaining about and noticing only the bad things that bother them. At this stage the newcomer either gets stronger and stays, or gets weaker and goes home (physically, mentally or both).


3. Regression Phase.
If you have struggled with phase 2, you may find yourself moving into regression - moving backward - and in this phase of culture shock, you spend much of your time speaking your own language, watching videos from your home country, eating food from home. You may also notice that you are moving in social circles which are exclusively made up of people from your own background and you don't want to meet locals. You may spend most of this time complaining about the new country/culture and its strange and senseless ways. Also in the regression phase, you may only remember the good things about your home country which may suddenly seem marvellously wonderful; all the difficulties that you had there are forgotten and you may find yourself wondering why you ever left. You may now only remember your home country as a wonderful place in which nothing ever went wrong for you. Of course, this is not true, but an illusion created by your culture shock crisis.


4. Recovery Phase or At-Ease-At-Last Phase:
If you survive the third stage successfully, you will move into the fourth stage of culture shock. In this stage you become more comfortable with the language and you also feel more comfortable with the customs of your new country. You can now move around without a feeling of anxiety. You still have problems with some of the social cues and you may still not understand everything people say (especially idioms) or do. However, you are now much better adjusted to the new culture and you start to realize that no country is that much better than another - it is just different lifestyles and different ways to deal with the problems of life. With this new adjustment, you accept the food, drinks, habits and customs of the new country, and you may even find yourself preferring some things in the new country, to things at home. You have now understood that there are different ways to live your life and that no way is really better than another, just different. Finally, you have become comfortable in the new place - it's not so bad. Most importantly, your sense of humour will have returned and you find you are able to look at yourself and laugh.

Of course I am really excited and this will hopefully make me stronger.
Regards

Dave.
Manchester
England,

Going to Perth, WA.
:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

cool info...when i first came here the second time i didn't have anyone to support me or to moan at...i just got on with it
it's only recently working with the latest wave from UK that i thought about how to support them.. really i can't and don't know what i have to offer to anyone
it's a funny experience really as i would never thought of it had it not "punched me in the face"

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

where in perth are you going and when?

We fly out on the 13th of january and headed for armadale/roleystone area.

:thumbsup:

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Ah the culture shock thing hey?.....always good to be aware that it's normal for the honeymoon phase to wear off eventually.

Don't remember going through such distinct stages when we moved to NZ, definitely don't remember the honeymoon stage that's for sure, things were 'ok' for us but we knew we'd made a mistake within 10 mins of being met at the airport. Fair do's to us though that we stuck it out as long as we did and made a success of it.

Now we live in a glorious part of Oz and certainly well into the honeymoon phase (we endured NZ for so long we're entitled to some fun now :D )

Must admit to looking round for the Walkers crisps and have yet to find them here, but it's early days yet ;)

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

:D I'm either having a very long stage 1, or jumped straight to stage 4...

Have only experienced fleeting moments of 2 & 3 - and I think it's only natural to slate the government & general public whatever country you are in! (It is for me anyway... :o But I'm a nice person honestly!)

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Great post. Some truths i can relate to. But not all.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

I found that really useful! Ive been in Adelaide two years and must have recently regressed, I tend to mix with my brit mates more, and also watch Eastenders on Foxtel! I guess its whatever helps you out at the time....

Everyones different I know, and I also know lifes not perfect anywhere, but then its summer in Adelaide now so Im not moaning about the cold!!:thumbsup:

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

That can all be summed up as life and adapting to what's around you and making the most of the situation. Went through Phase 1 as everyone does, Phase 2 & 3 completely bypassed and Phase 4 is our life in Oz. Having a positive and relaxed attitude helps enormously.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Whilst interesting I think it is probably more applicable to migrating to a harder country to settle into, say Iraq. Brits have it rather easy in comparison moving to Australia.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Think you've made a good point there, it's quite easy to settle in Oz compared to some other countries.

I used to spend a lot of time here before moving over so it felt like home right from the moment we decided to apply for visas.

However, I found it a lot more difficult in NZ, probably because we felt like we we'd made a backwards move: the society there is so much more introverted and xenophobic, opportunities were very limited. Here there is much more get-up-and-go, ambition isn't a dirty word and anything seems possible if you set your mind to it.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Then there the scary reality realisation, and it applies not matter how long you live here/there/wherever:blink:

Once you have lived in 2 different countries there will always be days you would rather be with someone/or doing something in the other place.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Very true, shame the distances are so great.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

I would say that was pretty accurate in my case ! I am now at stage 4 :thumbup:

Nicky :)

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Its still difficult though. This piece of wiriting has been posted a few times over the years and people always find it relevant, no matter what country they move to. In some ways it's harder moving to a country like Australia because in so many ways one has expectations that it will be similar to the UK. Going somewhere like Iraq, with a completely different language and culture one tends to anticipate problems more, I should think.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

By the wy, the link for the original writing, for copyright purposes, is
http://www.doctortravel.ca/tips/culture_shock/

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

I went straight to stage 4 (well sort of, never had any problems really) :thumbsup: although I did have a very minor setback after my son visited. :(

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Hi,

Im on my way to Joondalup/Wanneroo area. I have read a couple of culture shock processes and I think this is the worst case scenario one. I hope i miss 2 and 3 and go straight to 4 :)

:thumbup:

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

I believe it's just how I am. I have never let things get on top of me, and things that bother most just don't bother me and if they do then I just go somewhere quiet and chill out for a bit. Then I hit my problems/worries head on and get over it.

I should have been an Aussie (laid back by nature :D)

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

There are a few of us about :D

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Didn't go through any phases luckily - but have spent a lot of my life abroad.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

QUOTE]


informative post that ...cheers.

Dave
Oldhamer (still)

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

been there and done it many of times.

The MBTTUK forum has plent of stage 2's in, you can read it a mile off. they need help

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Must say hello - we're in Roley :)

and I reckon we just went to satge 4 too.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

This whole thing reads like some inevitable roadmap that every single person goes through. Have you considered the possibility of it being something so simple as a case of people simply saying "I have it better here, this is great!", or, "all things considered,my life was better in the UK". There may never be a "Recovery Phase or At-Ease-At-Last Phase" if your life in your new country is a total dissapointment compared to what you had, and you could waste years hanging around in the belief that some new phase will come along, when it just won't. I hope it does for you and everyone else, but it's not guaranteed. Why should it be?

At this stage the newcomer either gets stronger and stays, or gets weaker and goes home (physically, mentally or both).

PMSL at that. "You must be mentally weak if you realise you had an even better life back in the UK". Yeah, right. :lol:

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

yeah but some actually convince themselves of this, those that dont like their new ex-pat life, and hanker for the UK,

makes me laugh and I am addicted to reading their drivel, its really interesting to read, how they romantise a whole life in the Uk from a couple of memories they had years ago, theirs one or two in particular, its hysterical to read and upsetting at the same time.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

For quite a lot of people it is not a case of convincing themselves of anything, and I can see how your post could be quite distressing to people genuinekly suffering from homesickness. Australia does not suit everyone, and for some people life in the Uk was/is better than here for many many reasons. A lot of people don't yearn for the UK because of a "couple of memories" but because that is where their friends are, their families, and a lifestyle they enjoy more than the one they have here.
And before you say "then they should go home" - its not always as easy as it sounds.
====================

You need to realise that BE exists to support everyone, not just those who are settled in their new lives. If you connot be a little more sympathetic and supportive then please don't bother posting, certainly on threads like this.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Thank you for saying what I was thinking Pollyana.

I for one don't have a single romantic hankering for the UK, the only things I truely miss are friends and close family.

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

With regards to the last few posts I reckon thats one of the biggest things why people go home.
I know I will miss my friends and family, maybe not immediately but over time.

Its a shame that family and friends cant all emigrate at the same time - that must be brilliant for some on here that have done that.

We only have one life and Its about living it, some think being with family is more important than living a better life for themselves Everyones different and until you have tried it you will never know!, but at least you have had the opportunity of finding out, emigration is obviously not for everyone.

I hopefully will be taking my children with me (court next week) - who are my family, I love my mum and dad and will miss my friends but will make my own family over there and although it will be difficult at times I want to make it work.

I want to work hard and play hard.

Dave

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Very interesting post... I am the same, will miss my dear friends and my other family, but was of the mind that I will have the people i *need* to have with me.. my husband and my 2 young children.. then my Mum wisely pointed out that I ought to make sure that I realise that one day when my kids are older they might want to move themselves back to England (she said it nicely.. not in a b1tchy way)..

Certainly gave me food for thought and realisation of the shoe being on the other foot!:ohmy:

Em x

Re: Emigrating, missing home, Stages of emigration
 

Thx for the post!
I'm among those who went through 2 and 3.(not sure if i'm done with them)
And though it is really better here for many reasons home is home (all my family except oh is there) and i still miss it, even though i have a great home in a new country:)
I'm on my 14th month and only now started feeling a bit adequate:D
before i felt very much out of place.