did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
Oct 21st 2007, 1:04 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 37
did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
hi all,
did anyone move down under with a 16 year old that did not want to go
our daughter was originally quite up for it but has now started crying everytime australia is mentioned.
is there anybody down under that has been in this position and what is the outcome? do they still hate it or are they glad they moved?
if anyones son/daughter could reply to this that would be really helpful as i will show all the responses to my daughter.good or bad.
cheers all
neil
did anyone move down under with a 16 year old that did not want to go
our daughter was originally quite up for it but has now started crying everytime australia is mentioned.
is there anybody down under that has been in this position and what is the outcome? do they still hate it or are they glad they moved?
if anyones son/daughter could reply to this that would be really helpful as i will show all the responses to my daughter.good or bad.
cheers all
neil
Last edited by Sue; Oct 21st 2007 at 2:06 pm. Reason: Two threads merged into one.
Oct 21st 2007, 1:08 pm
#2
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Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Ferny Grove
Posts: 1,496
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
There's a forum for teens - might be worth getting her to have a look/post in there.
If she's anything like your average 16 year old you're going to be damned whatever you do, but you might manage to sway the hormones with selling her on beach life
Best of luck
Niki
If she's anything like your average 16 year old you're going to be damned whatever you do, but you might manage to sway the hormones with selling her on beach life
Best of luck
Niki
Oct 21st 2007, 1:14 pm
#3
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 37
did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
hi all,
did anyone move down under with a 16 year old that did not want to go
our daughter was originally quite up for it but has now started crying everytime australia is mentioned.
is there anybody down under that has been in this position and what is the outcome? do they still hate it or are they glad they moved?
if anyones son/daughter could reply to this that would be really helpful as i will show all the responses to my daughter.good or bad.
cheers all
neil
did anyone move down under with a 16 year old that did not want to go
our daughter was originally quite up for it but has now started crying everytime australia is mentioned.
is there anybody down under that has been in this position and what is the outcome? do they still hate it or are they glad they moved?
if anyones son/daughter could reply to this that would be really helpful as i will show all the responses to my daughter.good or bad.
cheers all
neil
Oct 21st 2007, 1:27 pm
#4
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
My daughter - big time! She wasn't 16 - was only 13 at the time. Short version - had no interest in discussing the move at all. Refused to. After several (lots) of attempts to discuss it with her we just stopped. The plans went ahead, we told our other daughter what was happening but just not in front of eldest. After a while she mentioned Aus - asking us if we were still going. Told her yes, get used to the idea please! She started talking to her mates about it and told us she was staying in the uk in a friends guinea pig hutch!!!!!!! Anyway got used to the idea but still refused to discuss the ins and outs.
The leaving party was a success but we had it a few months before we left so it probably didn't feel real. The last week at school was a total nightmare. Crying every day. The last day was horrendous. She arrived home from school with five mates who all just stood in the hall sobbing. I just stood there with a box of tissues and making a feeble attempt not to cry myself!
The next day we were going up to Heathrow to stay in a hotel for the night and so were packing the cases and dumping the last of the rubbish. She refused to get involved and my best mate turned up for final "see ya laters" and went up to her room to see her. Came out sobbing
Told me she was in the wardrobe! I went in and yes she was sitting in the wardrobe with doors shut and box of tissues sobbing non stop. I had to leave her there and get on with stuff.
She continued crying all the way to heathrow. Stopped for the evening. Started again on the short drive to the airport and in departures and take off. Stopped to sleep. Started again as we flew into Singapore. Stopped for 4 days whilst there. Started again on take off. Stopped for a couple of hours. Started again for more hours until we landed and then for a few days here.
Jump forward two years and she's happy. She wants to go back to visit and we may plan it for Jan 2009 (possibly). It took probably a year to settle although she was generally her normal self within six months but to get the friends she wants and the life she had took about a year.
She was only 13 then though and it's totally different from a 16 year old. I hope your daughter comes round. It is scary but many many kids do it and love it. Don't tell her it's forever but don't tell her if she doesn't like it immediately she can go back. Our daughter asked if we could come back after 3 months if she didn't like it and we told her straight that in a family of 4, it would have to be a majority decision or it would be unfair on everyone else and she understood that.
Hope I've not bored you. That was the short version And I think it doesn't sound as tough as it was at the time.
Good luck
The leaving party was a success but we had it a few months before we left so it probably didn't feel real. The last week at school was a total nightmare. Crying every day. The last day was horrendous. She arrived home from school with five mates who all just stood in the hall sobbing. I just stood there with a box of tissues and making a feeble attempt not to cry myself!
The next day we were going up to Heathrow to stay in a hotel for the night and so were packing the cases and dumping the last of the rubbish. She refused to get involved and my best mate turned up for final "see ya laters" and went up to her room to see her. Came out sobbing
Told me she was in the wardrobe! I went in and yes she was sitting in the wardrobe with doors shut and box of tissues sobbing non stop. I had to leave her there and get on with stuff.She continued crying all the way to heathrow. Stopped for the evening. Started again on the short drive to the airport and in departures and take off. Stopped to sleep. Started again as we flew into Singapore. Stopped for 4 days whilst there. Started again on take off. Stopped for a couple of hours. Started again for more hours until we landed and then for a few days here.
Jump forward two years and she's happy. She wants to go back to visit and we may plan it for Jan 2009 (possibly). It took probably a year to settle although she was generally her normal self within six months but to get the friends she wants and the life she had took about a year.
She was only 13 then though and it's totally different from a 16 year old. I hope your daughter comes round. It is scary but many many kids do it and love it. Don't tell her it's forever but don't tell her if she doesn't like it immediately she can go back. Our daughter asked if we could come back after 3 months if she didn't like it and we told her straight that in a family of 4, it would have to be a majority decision or it would be unfair on everyone else and she understood that.
Hope I've not bored you. That was the short version
And I think it doesn't sound as tough as it was at the time. Good luck
Oct 21st 2007, 1:28 pm
#5
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
Just replied on your other post.
Oct 21st 2007, 2:14 pm
#6
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 25,277
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
hi all,
did anyone move down under with a 16 year old that did not want to go
our daughter was originally quite up for it but has now started crying everytime australia is mentioned.
is there anybody down under that has been in this position and what is the outcome? do they still hate it or are they glad they moved?
if anyones son/daughter could reply to this that would be really helpful as i will show all the responses to my daughter.good or bad.
cheers all
neil
did anyone move down under with a 16 year old that did not want to go
our daughter was originally quite up for it but has now started crying everytime australia is mentioned.
is there anybody down under that has been in this position and what is the outcome? do they still hate it or are they glad they moved?
if anyones son/daughter could reply to this that would be really helpful as i will show all the responses to my daughter.good or bad.
cheers all
neil
Yep we did
Son 16 and had left school, didn't want to come, had girlfriend, we told him sorry but we're going and as you're part of the family afraid you dont have a choice! So, he kind of accepted that, split with his gf, and we arrived 8 weeks ago..............now, he has settled, made some great mates, LOVES school, (yes he went BACK to school, and even back a year, to enable him to get 2 full years for OP score!) comes out of school smiling 
and is looking forward to starting TAFE one day a week in jan 
Oh and he's applied for a part time job 
Oct 21st 2007, 2:53 pm
#7
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Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Mount Martha
Posts: 1,112
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
Hi Neil,
Yep we did Son 16 and had left school, didn't want to come, had girlfriend, we told him sorry but we're going and as you're part of the family afraid you dont have a choice! So, he kind of accepted that, split with his gf, and we arrived 8 weeks ago..............now, he has settled, made some great mates, LOVES school, (yes he went BACK to school, and even back a year, to enable him to get 2 full years for OP score!) comes out of school smiling and is looking forward to starting TAFE one day a week in jan Oh and he's applied for a part time job
Yep we did
Son 16 and had left school, didn't want to come, had girlfriend, we told him sorry but we're going and as you're part of the family afraid you dont have a choice! So, he kind of accepted that, split with his gf, and we arrived 8 weeks ago..............now, he has settled, made some great mates, LOVES school, (yes he went BACK to school, and even back a year, to enable him to get 2 full years for OP score!) comes out of school smiling and is looking forward to starting TAFE one day a week in jan Oh and he's applied for a part time job Sorry for intruding on the thread, but our son is already 16 and due to take his GCSE exams next year, leaving school about May time. We will be across Feb / March time next year and will leave him here to finish his studies and get his exams he will then follow us across. Will have have to go back to school or can he just look at a TAFE course? Any advice would be appreciated as usual.
Jason
Oct 21st 2007, 5:42 pm
#8
sullysdownunder
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: midlands to townsville
Posts: 157
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
sent you a pm
Oct 21st 2007, 6:24 pm
#9
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Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Western Australia baby!!!
Posts: 351
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
My daughter - big time! She wasn't 16 - was only 13 at the time. Short version - had no interest in discussing the move at all. Refused to. After several (lots) of attempts to discuss it with her we just stopped. The plans went ahead, we told our other daughter what was happening but just not in front of eldest. After a while she mentioned Aus - asking us if we were still going. Told her yes, get used to the idea please! She started talking to her mates about it and told us she was staying in the uk in a friends guinea pig hutch!!!!!!! Anyway got used to the idea but still refused to discuss the ins and outs.
The leaving party was a success but we had it a few months before we left so it probably didn't feel real. The last week at school was a total nightmare. Crying every day. The last day was horrendous. She arrived home from school with five mates who all just stood in the hall sobbing. I just stood there with a box of tissues and making a feeble attempt not to cry myself!
The next day we were going up to Heathrow to stay in a hotel for the night and so were packing the cases and dumping the last of the rubbish. She refused to get involved and my best mate turned up for final "see ya laters" and went up to her room to see her. Came out sobbing Told me she was in the wardrobe! I went in and yes she was sitting in the wardrobe with doors shut and box of tissues sobbing non stop. I had to leave her there and get on with stuff.
She continued crying all the way to heathrow. Stopped for the evening. Started again on the short drive to the airport and in departures and take off. Stopped to sleep. Started again as we flew into Singapore. Stopped for 4 days whilst there. Started again on take off. Stopped for a couple of hours. Started again for more hours until we landed and then for a few days here.
Jump forward two years and she's happy. She wants to go back to visit and we may plan it for Jan 2009 (possibly). It took probably a year to settle although she was generally her normal self within six months but to get the friends she wants and the life she had took about a year.
She was only 13 then though and it's totally different from a 16 year old. I hope your daughter comes round. It is scary but many many kids do it and love it. Don't tell her it's forever but don't tell her if she doesn't like it immediately she can go back. Our daughter asked if we could come back after 3 months if she didn't like it and we told her straight that in a family of 4, it would have to be a majority decision or it would be unfair on everyone else and she understood that.
Hope I've not bored you. That was the short version And I think it doesn't sound as tough as it was at the time.
Good luck
The leaving party was a success but we had it a few months before we left so it probably didn't feel real. The last week at school was a total nightmare. Crying every day. The last day was horrendous. She arrived home from school with five mates who all just stood in the hall sobbing. I just stood there with a box of tissues and making a feeble attempt not to cry myself!
The next day we were going up to Heathrow to stay in a hotel for the night and so were packing the cases and dumping the last of the rubbish. She refused to get involved and my best mate turned up for final "see ya laters" and went up to her room to see her. Came out sobbing
Told me she was in the wardrobe! I went in and yes she was sitting in the wardrobe with doors shut and box of tissues sobbing non stop. I had to leave her there and get on with stuff.She continued crying all the way to heathrow. Stopped for the evening. Started again on the short drive to the airport and in departures and take off. Stopped to sleep. Started again as we flew into Singapore. Stopped for 4 days whilst there. Started again on take off. Stopped for a couple of hours. Started again for more hours until we landed and then for a few days here.
Jump forward two years and she's happy. She wants to go back to visit and we may plan it for Jan 2009 (possibly). It took probably a year to settle although she was generally her normal self within six months but to get the friends she wants and the life she had took about a year.
She was only 13 then though and it's totally different from a 16 year old. I hope your daughter comes round. It is scary but many many kids do it and love it. Don't tell her it's forever but don't tell her if she doesn't like it immediately she can go back. Our daughter asked if we could come back after 3 months if she didn't like it and we told her straight that in a family of 4, it would have to be a majority decision or it would be unfair on everyone else and she understood that.
Hope I've not bored you. That was the short version
And I think it doesn't sound as tough as it was at the time. Good luck
just an idea.
my children are 14 n 18 and are well up for going, its me who gets the wobbles. lol
Oct 21st 2007, 6:34 pm
#10
markj
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 460
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
Our sons 17 and he says he's not coming we are just going to call his bluth nearer the time.He could'nt look after himself he's pretty useless in this dept.
ah well time will tell,the joys of waywood teens
ah well time will tell,the joys of waywood teens
Oct 21st 2007, 7:59 pm
#11
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Joined: Feb 2003
Location: Adelaide, SA
Posts: 473
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
Our son is 17 too, can't mention anthing about oz in front of him - he just goes silent. Like you just going to call his bluff nearer the time! Good luck!
Oct 21st 2007, 8:04 pm
#12
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Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 37
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
Thanks to all replies Our daughters an oscar winner at times really dramatic we have said give it two years if she doesnt like it she can come back we wont but she can but she still cries and refuses to discuss
Oct 21st 2007, 8:12 pm
#13
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Joined: Dec 2005
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 442
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
Hi all
my son's 17 and he's determined that he's not coming. Other two kids 15 and 13 are well up for it.
I have managed to get him a flat that offers support with things like finances and day to day living and education or work. We are leaving on 27th Nov and he is coming with us for a week. I had hoped he would come round to the idea but at least this way i know he has support workers and family on hand to help with any problems he has. I also hope he will decide to stay with us when he realises that he has to make the return journey on his own. My brother will be meeting him at the airport and putting him on to National Express back to Brum.
Jackie
my son's 17 and he's determined that he's not coming
. Other two kids 15 and 13 are well up for it.I have managed to get him a flat that offers support with things like finances and day to day living and education or work. We are leaving on 27th Nov and he is coming with us for a week. I had hoped he would come round to the idea but at least this way i know he has support workers and family on hand to help with any problems he has. I also hope he will decide to stay with us when he realises that he has to make the return journey on his own. My brother will be meeting him at the airport and putting him on to National Express back to Brum.
Jackie
Oct 21st 2007, 8:34 pm
#14
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 10
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
We emigrated 8 years ago with a 13 & 15 year old, both girls. For the few months leading upto departure we had "when are we going I can't wait" one week and then "I don't want to go" another week. It was so up and down I was dreading it.
Our 15 year old did go back to school and had to repeat half a year and as the other students had already made their subject choices, she had to fit in to the subjects that had spaces available. (Quite hard on her really). Anyway, 8 years down the track neither of them would go back to the UK to live. Our eldest went back last year for a holiday to visit Nan and friends but couldn't wait to get back home.
Our 15 year old did go back to school and had to repeat half a year and as the other students had already made their subject choices, she had to fit in to the subjects that had spaces available. (Quite hard on her really). Anyway, 8 years down the track neither of them would go back to the UK to live. Our eldest went back last year for a holiday to visit Nan and friends but couldn't wait to get back home.
Oct 22nd 2007, 7:36 am
#15
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Posts: 361
Re: did anyone emigrtae with a 16 year old?
Hi, I have a 16 year old who is staying in the UK and a 14 year old who is coming with me. My 16 year old boy is at naval boarding school and wants to stay and finish his A levels before going on to the Marines. His dad and grandparents live near by so they will look after him. He is very independent and has made his mind up but I know i will miss him. My 14 year old daughter is coming with me and although she is being positive (this week!) I know it is going to be some time before she settles. She has a large network of friends in the Uk and is going to find it much harder then me to leave. It has really helped me reading this thread as there are positive stories on here. One of the things that I am worried about is that I might let my guilt for moving her to Oz allow me to be to soft on her. I know that this is a fantastic opportunity for her and will change her life for the best but getting her to understand it might not be easy. I understand how she might feel because at 14 my friends were the most important people in my life. Sorry for going on but this is one of my biggest worries. Any tips or advice would be most welcome