Diary of a Perth Summer (by an expat)
Oct 27th 2007, 11:53 am
#1
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 866
Diary of a Perth Summer (by an expat)
August 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Perth!!
Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today.
Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's kind of windy though.
But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60%
of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I
left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty
had died and swollen up to the size of a corgi and stank up the
$3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away.
The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat sh!t. I learned my lesson
though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow
dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the
blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over
and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner
fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but
this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30.
Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise ar*e cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get
to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like bakedcat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts,
and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car.
I thought my ar*e was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ar*e.
Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ar*e, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been
too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really
warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water
rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow
into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now
the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it
and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500
house payment to bail my ar*e out of jail for assaulting the
repairman. Bloody Perth.
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are
f#@king kidding
Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today.
Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's kind of windy though.
But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60%
of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I
left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty
had died and swollen up to the size of a corgi and stank up the
$3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away.
The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat sh!t. I learned my lesson
though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow
dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the
blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over
and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner
fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but
this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30.
Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise ar*e cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get
to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like bakedcat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts,
and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car.
I thought my ar*e was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ar*e.
Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ar*e, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been
too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really
warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water
rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow
into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now
the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it
and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500
house payment to bail my ar*e out of jail for assaulting the
repairman. Bloody Perth.
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are
f#@king kidding
Oct 27th 2007, 1:11 pm
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 30
Re: Diary of a Perth Summer (by an expat)
Seen this before but it still makes me giggle!
Oct 27th 2007, 1:28 pm
#3
Living in Perthection
Joined: Mar 2003
Location: Wickedy WA WA...
Posts: 1,868
Oct 27th 2007, 1:51 pm
#4
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2004
Location: Tapping, Perth
Posts: 1,586
Re: Diary of a Perth Summer (by an expat)
Always make me laugh
Tracie
Tracie
Oct 27th 2007, 2:53 pm
#5
You sip .... I glug !!!
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Over the hill!
Posts: 2,790
Re: Diary of a Perth Summer (by an expat)
August 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Perth!!
Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today.
Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's kind of windy though.
But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60%
of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I
left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty
had died and swollen up to the size of a corgi and stank up the
$3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away.
The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat sh!t. I learned my lesson
though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow
dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the
blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over
and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner
fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but
this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30.
Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise ar*e cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get
to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like bakedcat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts,
and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car.
I thought my ar*e was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ar*e.
Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ar*e, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been
too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really
warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water
rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow
into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now
the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it
and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500
house payment to bail my ar*e out of jail for assaulting the
repairman. Bloody Perth.
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are
f#@king kidding
Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today.
Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's kind of windy though.
But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60%
of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I
left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty
had died and swollen up to the size of a corgi and stank up the
$3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away.
The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat sh!t. I learned my lesson
though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow
dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the
blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over
and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner
fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but
this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30.
Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise ar*e cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get
to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like bakedcat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts,
and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car.
I thought my ar*e was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ar*e.
Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ar*e, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been
too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really
warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water
rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow
into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now
the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it
and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500
house payment to bail my ar*e out of jail for assaulting the
repairman. Bloody Perth.
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are
f#@king kidding
Still funny though!
PS. you can always spot the tourist or new arrival in Perth - they're the ones walking around in shorts and thongs when the rest of us are in coats and boots - brrr!
PPS. for all new arrivals in Perth. 12 or 14 degrees at night with no loft insulation (or in fact any insulation) feels bl**dy cold. Bring any fleeces you have.
