The diary of a Brisbane/Queensland summer...
 

Just got this sent to me as an email - probably not a real diary excerpt, but I thought it might be food for thought.......

THE DIARY OF A BRISBANE/Queensland SUMMER...

August 31st

Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home.

I love it here.



September 13th:

Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.



September 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of
palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.



October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though.
But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.




October 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.



October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the
$3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though.

No more pets in this heat.



October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And
it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.



October 30th:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody
$450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?



November 4th:

It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid
repairman.

I hate this stupid place.



November 8th:

If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!




November 9th:

Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and
my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.



November 10th:

The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and
sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything
for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next
week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.




November 14th:

Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane . What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?




December 1st:

WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? Ya kiddin me!!!!

That will be WBB, after six months:D



jib

LOL :D Especially as he is going to Ipswich :)

Wierd I got sent the same email from an Aussie pal last week. Things sure get around!!!

:D You might want to check out this thread Feb 20 2004 :D

Could be worse....
 

Aug. 20 - Moved to our new home in Michigan. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. This is God's Country… I love it here!

Oct. 14 - Michigan is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colours. You should see the beautiful shades of red and orange and yellow! Went for a ride through some beautiful rolling hills and spotted some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be Paradise... I love it here!

Nov. 3 - Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature, the very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon… I love it here!

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night! Woke up to find everything blanketed in white, just like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplough came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place, Mother Nature in perfect harmony… I love Michigan!

Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it. The snowplough did his trick again (that rascal) and pushed all the snow back into the driveway, but we bundled up and had a good time clearing it. And we made a snowman out of it! A winter wonderland... I love it here!

Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work on time! I'm exhausted from shovelling. That damn snowplough!

Dec. 22 - More of that white crap fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shovelling. I think the snowplough man hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shovelling this driveway, the jerk! And you should see our heating bills!

Dec. 25 – ‘White Christmas’ my busted ass! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives that snowplough, I swear I'll break the bastard's nose. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt this frigging ICE!

Dec. 28 - More white shit last night. Been inside since Christmas Day except for shovelling out the driveway every time ‘Snowplough Harry’ comes by. Can't go anywhere, car's buried in a mountain of frozen snow. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?

Jan. 1 - Happy Damn New Year, the weatherman was wrong AGAIN. We got two feet of the white shit this time. At this rate it won't melt before the Fourth of July. The snowplough got stuck up the road, and the jerk had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. After I told him I've broken six shovels already, shovelling all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his damn head!

Jan. 8 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back, a damn deer ran in front of the car and I hit the bastard. Did about $3,000 worth of damage to the car. Those damn beasts ought to be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

Mar. 22 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rotting out from all that damn salt they keep dumping all over the road? Car looks like a piece of shit!

April. 10 - Moved back to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in that God forsaken state of Michigan!

Re: Could be worse....
 

LOL!!! Obviously somebody's spent a bit too much time in Michigan!;)