Desperado!! Lol
 

Hi
I have been eagerly reading threads and whilst I'm really excited to see people embarking on new lives in Australia I'm still desperately wondering how I can convince my hubby that it would be great for us.

I have my heart set on Adelaide. It's a long story but I've been dreaming of transferring for years. Disaster struck when I was medically retired with 17 yrs service last September due to a spinal prob. I have just had major surgery but am recovering well. Hubby is still a bobby with 14 yrs service.

He's quite happy in the uk. Loves his home, job etc... We have two boys 9 and 5.
I too am happy and have never been to Australia but have had a couple of sets of friends transfer to Adelaide. SA haven't recruited direct since 2010.

I'm even considering re training in a job that's on the skills list so that I could get a visa for us in the future if he ever changes his mind. How am I going to convince him???? My change in circs made me realise that everything can change at the drop of a hat and life needs to be grabbed with both hands. I don't believe the uk in the state it's in can offer our boys a good future and I want out.

That's it. Me in a nutshell (or is that nuthouse) lol

Teri x

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

Hi Teri and welcome to BE :welcome:

I'm not sure you can convince your OH if he is happy where he is - and I wonder if you would be able to pass the medical having had major surgery and a spinal injury. Are you fit enough to fly for a holiday?

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

Hi

I expect that I will be well enough in another few months. My condition was scoliosis and I have had correction surgery. (Spine straightened with rods and screws). I expect to be completely discharged within two years with no ongoing probs hopefully.

Thanks for your reply.

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

If you do manage to persuade the OH, I would take advice from an agent experienced with medical complications before starting on the visa process who can offer advice on the best approach for the medicals for a good outcome

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

Thank you for the advice. If not maybe ill just have to be content with holidays in oz boo hoo x

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

Well if you ever make it to Adelaide - shout :)

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

You don't sound as though you belong in a nuthouse to me, Teri :) But (isn't there always a bloody 'but') unless something happens with your husband's work/life that makes him more agreeable to your wish, I don't see that there's a lot you can do.

My honest opinion is that even if allowed himself to be persuaded though his heart wasn't in it, then the chances of a successful emigration are slight. Being so far from home, it's more important than ever that you and your husband are a team, and if one of you feels as though they were pushed into it that could lead to resentment and anger. Everyone who emigrates to a new country faces challenges, and these challenges are amplified when someone doesn't really want to be there.

Having also had to leave my job due to medical stuff, and not long out of hospital after my second spinal surgery, I have a lot of empathy for your situation. If you could swing a holiday to Oz that would be great. You sound like a really positive person, so I'm sure that whatever your future holds it'll be a good one. Best of luck :starsmile:

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

Thank you spouse to scouse for that perspective. Your right.
I'm convinced that he would love the lifestyle though!! Bless his cottons x

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

Firmly in the "if it ain't broke don't fix it" camp here I'm afraid. Just what do you imagine the lifestyle may offer, how will it be "better"? In this day and age if you have a job you love in a place you like with a good support network around you then you're living like kings! Australia is just another first world country - nothing magical, just more isolated!

Perhaps use some of the very generous UK holidays along with cheaper fares to visit Australia instead. I know my perception of Aus way back when was coloured by Robert Mitchum in the Sundowners! As fictional as WDU is to today's prospective migrants!

At the moment it looks like your chance of getting a visa is slim anyway so don't pin too much on it and do go through an agent specializing in medical conditions if you do ever get around to it.

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

First rule of migration is that you both need to want it. Cajoling and persuading someone to do something as big as emigrate, is, I think, not fair and is also doomed to failure.

I think it is ok if one partner is more enthusiastic than the other, that was the case with us, but we were both willing and there was no need for persuading at any time.

I suppose you could try a holiday, not that it is reflective of real life, but if your OH has never been it might just help him to visualise a bit better. But I would still not try to persuade if that doesn't work by itself.

And it all could indeed by moot, as I am not clear what visa path you have. If you retrain, how long would that take and how old would you be then? The police recruitment a don't happen very often, although I thought I read the other day that WA have a drive on at the moment.

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

What "lifestyle"? Seriously, do you really, honestly in your heart of hearts think Australia is any different to any other first world country?

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

These two states of mind don't really add up.

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

What I mean by lifestyle is the fact that we all love to be outdoors. We love to cycle, walk etc but these basic activities are seriously ruined most of the time by the good old British weather. A warmer climate could potentially enhance our lifestyle by giving us more outdoor time.

I completely get the posts about getting advice re medicals for visa. That's good advice. There's a lot of negativity from people who have done it and regretted it!!! My motto you can't regret what you've done, only what you haven't and whilst I appreciate those people sharing their experience I tend to live my life in a more positive way. My post was a bit light hearted.

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

I couldn't put it better myself. Australia offers a different way of life but not necessarily a better one than the UK.

And cajoling someone who is happy with their life in Britain to move to the other side of the planet could be a recipe for disaster if they don't want to be here.

It can make a person bitter and resentful. If it wasn't for my husband I wouldn't be living in Australia. It was his dream to move here not mine.

I don't hate it here - otherwise I wouldn't have lasted 11 years !!!! We have a good lifestyle and I think Australia is an exceptionally beautiful country but deep down I wish we hadn't emigrated.

Re: Desperado!! Lol
 

We spent a lot more time engaged in those activities when we lived in England.......we also spent a lot more time out of doors.

The weather here restricts us greatly.......give me the "good old British weather" any day