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Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Old Jul 9th 2002, 1:09 pm
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Default Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Hi everyone

I was a regular on this site until I went to Aus on my hols a month ago and, I suppose, I've just been a bit too embarrassed to come back and mention that I've changed my mind about emigrating!!

We (husb and 3 kids) applied Aug 2001 London and haven't heard anything yet anyway, but we were almost 100 percent sure we would deffo go. Couldn't wait for our holiday - 3 weeks travelling around Australia. Family and friends had mixed reactions - mum particularly felt stressed out - she really felt we would be coming back to England with news of where we were defintely going to settle when our visas came in. But we changed our minds.

All I can say is - Australia is a beautiful, great country with everything going for it - great weather, lovely people, a relaxed, happy lifestyle. It all seems fab. Don't know what it is - I just didn't get that gut feeling that I thought I would. I loved it - but when I started imagining that I was living there without my friends and family - I couldn't do it. I felt gutted. I wish I could've, but my heart was just telling me I couldn't. Perhaps after a year of living there I would've got over that home-sick feeling that I knew I would get, but I didn't want to risk it.

My children had great fun - we particularly loved Mandurah (about 1 hour from Perth) and Sydney. All of it. Just that I realised that unfortunately, I'm too much of a home girl. And we've got quite a nice lifestyle here - for now. I know that it's a nicer way of life and would give the kids a much better chance and a great lifestyle, but being away from everyone and everything (and imagining that it wasn't just for 3 weeks but forever) made me realise that the kids are happy wherever they are, as long as we're with them and they feel confident, loved and settled.

Anway, good luck to all of you lot going through it - I'm sure you'll love it and I hope it's right for you. You'll probably see me back on this site in a few years time moaning about how I once had the chance!!!!!

Lisa B
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 1:59 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

This is probably one of the best description of somebody's feelings I've read since I started to visit this site.

The place where we live is only one of many factors that makes us happy. The threads of human relationships that bind us to our friends, family, colleagues and neighbours play an important part too.

I'm sorry you decided not to go, but I admire your courage to share it with us. I'm sure that you'll be happy because you have friends and family here where you already live that love you very much.
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 2:36 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Hi Lisa,

At least you made the right choice for now. I got my visa 10 years ago but decided not to take it up because had no contacts in Aus and there was no www internet at the time so couldn't look for a job. Decided to do an MBA instead.

Now decided to go and have contacts over there, more money (after extra ten years in UK) so all in all worked out just as well that didn't go 10 years ago.

Things change. May see you in a few years.

nigel db
 
Old Jul 9th 2002, 2:48 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Lisa

Thanks for sharing your experience, it was an insightful read.

My husband got the 'gut' feeling you talk about when we were over last year. I was born in Australia but my husband had never visited and he refused point blank to leave the UK without at least having a holiday there first. I think you were wise to do the holiday first, at least you've saved yourself the expense and hassle of moving your family over only to find that you want to come home.

At least now you know that, at the moment at least, you are happiest where you are Good luck for the future, and like Ndalton says, who knows what may happen later on???

love sophia xx
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 2:58 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Hi Lisa
Sorry to hear you feel that way, better to find out before you sell the house etc. Maybe you'd consider going ahead with the visa and taking another holiday to validate it.......at least then if you change your mind in the next 5 years you've still got the option. Just a thought.
Sue
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 5:34 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

great courage to write about it
i know three people would went out on a pr that came back after feeling homesick ,two of them got oz sick and ended up going again perminently (to oz).the third one wished he had gone back and is kicking him self violently because it's gone past the 5 year point and he is now too old.
i always tell my wife /kids to see it as a 2 year working visit and we will come home if we dont like it after we have applied for citz ship.that way when our kids grow up they can move freely between uk2oz.
i'm 99.99999999 % sure we will be staying.we might be slightly differant 2 some of u guys as we have no close friends,and because we did not get on with the eachothers family,we drifted apart from our relations ,which makes it much easier 4 us.

what u should do is carry on with your app,ie med/police checks then at least it can all be left open incase u change your mind

dont blow it

some people say u dont know what u got till its gone

i say u dont know what u got till its gone,then when u get it back,u realize that living in a warm friendly country,being able to take your kids out to the park etc nearly all year round beats being in a place where the weather is crap,education/nat health is going down hill, blablablablablalbalba

good luck wht ever happens
rday
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 5:39 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Lisa,

My heart goes out to you!
I think it's a bigger decision not to go, than to actually go through with it !!!

Maybe you'll change your mind in a few years?

By the way how old are you?
We sent for the forms 13 years ago and when push come to shove I could'nt do it either (too young to leave family behind)
But now I'm older the decision was easier to make I feel able to handle it better now!

Good Luck what ever you decide

Julie x
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 6:25 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

yea we say well done lisa, to make that decision this far on must have been hard. but its good to read about the pros and cons of what people decide to do
thanks again shaun
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Old Jul 9th 2002, 8:20 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Lisa B <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...
    > Hi everyone
Don't worry. You are not the first. It's a long way from home.

When I was a kid (in the 60s) there was a major immigration push. I lived in London
(now in California) My parents friends decided to go to Oz (as 10-pound poms!).
Everything was decided, they sold most of their stuff. They had a party in their
council house. They spray painted all over the walls. Next morning they changed their
minds! They needed to completely redecorate the house. Serves them right for
trashing a counil house.

Take care!

Clive

    >
    > I was a regular on this site until I went to Aus on my hols a month ago and, I
    > suppose, I've just been a bit too embarrassed to come back and mention that I've
    > changed my mind about emigrating!!
    >
    > We (husb and 3 kids) applied Aug 2001 London and haven't heard anything yet anyway,
    > but we were almost 100 percent sure we would deffo go. Couldn't wait for our
    > holiday - 3 weeks travelling around Australia. Family and friends had mixed
    > reactions - mum particularly felt stressed out - she really felt we would be coming
    > back to England with news of where we were defintely going to settle when our visas
    > came in. But we changed our minds.
    >
    > All I can say is - Australia is a beautiful, great country with everything going
    > for it - great weather, lovely people, a relaxed, happy lifestyle. It all seems
    > fab. Don't know what it is - I just didn't get that gut feeling that I thought I
    > would. I loved it - but when I started imagining that I was living there without my
    > friends and family - I couldn't do it. I felt gutted. I wish I could've, but my
    > heart was just telling me I couldn't. Perhaps after a year of living there I
    > would've got over that home-sick feeling that I knew I would get, but I didn't want
    > to risk it.
    >
    > My children had great fun - we particularly loved Mandurah (about 1 hour from
    > Perth) and Sydney. All of it. Just that I realised that unfortunately, I'm too much
    > of a home girl. And we've got quite a nice lifestyle here - for now. I know that
    > it's a nicer way of life and would give the kids a much better chance and a great
    > lifestyle, but being away from everyone and everything (and imagining that it
    > wasn't just for 3 weeks but forever) made me realise that the kids are happy
    > wherever they are, as long as we're with them and they feel confident, loved and
    > settled.
    >
    > Anway, good luck to all of you lot going through it - I'm sure you'll love it and I
    > hope it's right for you. You'll probably see me back on this site in a few years
    > time moaning about how I once had the chance!!!!!
    >
    > Lisa B XX
 
Old Jul 9th 2002, 10:20 pm
  #10  
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Hi Lisa Firstly I think you did entirely the right thing in checking out Australia in
advance. I've known other cases where people just like you sold up and moved back (at
great expense) a year later.

Two suggestions:

1. If/when your visas come through, validate them with another trip to Australia
before their first entry date. This at least keeps your options open for 5 years
about changing your mind a second time

2. Think about going for a few years anyway, on a time limited basis. After 2 years
and a bit you can get Australian citizenship (and keep British citizenship),
giving you - and more importantly your children
- a lifetime option about where you would like to live. Maybe in 30 years time you
might like to have the option of retiring in Australia when home circumstances are
different.

A general point to bear in mind is that migration rules do change and the fact you
may qualify now doesn't mean the door will still be open if you did change your mind
a second time later on.

If you decided to go for a few years (and then see) you might do things like hold
onto your house in the UK, reducing the cost if you did decide to return. Of course,
after a couple of years you might end up staying anyway.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Regards Jeremy

    >On 9 Jul 2002 14:20:41 GMT, Lisa B <[email protected]> wrote: Hi everyone
    >
    >I was a regular on this site until I went to Aus on my hols a month ago and, I
    >suppose, I've just been a bit too embarrassed to come back and mention that I've
    >changed my mind about emigrating!!
    >
    >We (husb and 3 kids) applied Aug 2001 London and haven't heard anything yet anyway,
    >but we were almost 100 percent sure we would deffo go. Couldn't wait for our holiday
    >- 3 weeks travelling around Australia. Family and friends had mixed reactions - mum
    >particularly felt stressed out - she really felt we would be coming back to England
    >with news of where we were defintely going to settle when our visas came in. But we
    >changed our minds.
    >
    >All I can say is - Australia is a beautiful, great country with everything going for
    >it - great weather, lovely people, a relaxed, happy lifestyle. It all seems fab.
    >Don't know what it is - I just didn't get that gut feeling that I thought I would. I
    >loved it - but when I started imagining that I was living there without my friends
    >and family - I couldn't do it. I felt gutted. I wish I could've, but my heart was
    >just telling me I couldn't. Perhaps after a year of living there I would've got over
    >that home-sick feeling that I knew I would get, but I didn't want to risk it.
    >
    >My children had great fun - we particularly loved Mandurah (about 1 hour from Perth)
    >and Sydney. All of it. Just that I realised that unfortunately, I'm too much of a
    >home girl. And we've got quite a nice lifestyle here - for now. I know that it's a
    >nicer way of life and would give the kids a much better chance and a great
    >lifestyle, but being away from everyone and everything (and imagining that it wasn't
    >just for 3 weeks but forever) made me realise that the kids are happy wherever they
    >are, as long as we're with them and they feel confident, loved and settled.
    >
    >Anway, good luck to all of you lot going through it - I'm sure you'll love it and I
    >hope it's right for you. You'll probably see me back on this site in a few years
    >time moaning about how I once had the chance!!!!!
    >
    >Lisa B XX
    >
    >
    >
    >--
    >Posted via http://britishexpats.com
 
Old Jul 9th 2002, 11:15 pm
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Lisa,

V. cool to share with us. We've been up and down and up and down again about the whole thing time and time again. Since we're one of the never-been types, we've decided that no matter what, 2 years is our minimum before giving any thought about coming back (doing exactly what Jaj suggested). We think that this is our timebox for our "fair go of Oz".

But I think you're being far braver than that deciding up front. Good on yer. Just dont burn those bridges (again as Jaj says about closing doors etc) But I do hope you find as much here as we're hoping to find there.

Mouse.
P.S. Keep us all posted about how it turned out for you guys.
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Old Jul 10th 2002, 7:00 am
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Hi

We too went to Perth for a holiday because we were so fed up with waiting for a visa. Initially I didn't get that gut feeling you talk about Lisa (my hubby did), but I still new I really wanted to be here. I think I was right. We're here now and we will definately be staying until we are citizens. If we do return to UK than at least we will have done something exciting and our kids (as well as us) will have the choice of returning when they are older. I've heard so many stories of people moving to Oz, going back home then wishing they hadn't because they cannot return. It's taken us a long time to get here and I'm going to enjoy it whilst we're here. You were very brave in deciding not to go, thanks for sharing your story with us and good luck with whatever you decide to do in the future.

Claire
xx
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Old Jul 10th 2002, 8:10 am
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Lisa

My wife and I emigrated to Perth in 1988, when we were in our mid twenties. Our first boy was born out there and we got homesick missing our friends and family and wanting them to share our offspring. We decided to return after 2 and half years, didn't take out citizenship as we didn't want to go back. Now, 12 years on things have changed, can't really put a finger on it, but feel we wanted a change, i'm 40 (my wife is 39) this year, half way through our working lives and know if we don't make a change now, thats us till I retire. Also the kids are at the right age (12, 8 and 6) a few years further on we would be into exams and stuff for our eldest. We feel pretty lucky to have another chance through the skilled route (went skilled before also). Just wished we'd taken citizenship before, would have made it a whole lot easier this time.

We rented out our house in the UK whilst in Oz so we had that fallback. Personally, if you can, I would take the advice here and get yourself out there for a couple of years, get cititzenship and then your pretty to do what you want.

I would have kicked myself big time if I had failed to get out again now. Best wishes and luck with whatever you decide.

Finch
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Old Jul 10th 2002, 8:16 am
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Well done lisa . thanks for your email . lovely to hear from you , just remember though , go validate !!!!!!!!!
Speak soon please keep in touch
Joanne xxxxx
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Old Jul 10th 2002, 8:31 am
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Default Re: Decided not to go to Aus in the end

Lisa, I think you have put into words what a lot of us will be fearing. I know migrating will not be a "cure all" but I guess I hope the nagging doubts don't overwhelm me. Friends and Family are the one thing you can't take with you, except in your heart, and by golly I'm going to miss mine but I'm going to do the 2 year thing at least.

I was interested to know if your husband got the 'gut feeling' or whether you are all in agreement. It must be difficult if he wants to go and you don't.

Good luck for the future.

Lizzie
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