Cure Found For Dreamer's Disease!!!
Apr 11th 2003, 12:24 am
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Cure Found For Dreamer's Disease!!!
Good News For Dreamer's Disease Sufferers
New research has highlighted a simple and inexpensive cure for Dreamer's disease: the light bulb!
Researchers have now proved, beyond the shadow of doubt, that Dreamer's disease is caused by poor lighting and can be cured overnight by replacing all incandescent light globes with full spectrum lights!
The light went on for Judith Smith, from the Institute of the Blinding Obvious, after many years of gloom deprivation as a migrant in Australia.
On her return to Leicester, she noticed that the ratings for the BBC TV programs "Escape To The Sun", "Living The Dream", "Get A New Life" and "Rent A Life" were 3 times those of the "Simpsons" and that moaning about overcrowding, the rat race, traffic and sundry other aspects of normal consumeristic modern life had reached epidemic proportions and was mortally threatening the very fabric of British Civilisation.
Smith's researches lead to her making even more disturbing claims that untreated Dreamer's disease is the single most important cause of Wars throught history. She has suggested that had Saddam Hussein used full spectrum lighting in his bunkers, the war in Iraq could have been averted and Iraq would have returned to Demonicacy many years earlier.
Asked about the scientific basis of her claims, Smith replied that vitamin D injections alone were insufficient to prevent or cure Dreamer's disease because full spectrum light was required to convert vitamin D to the active form D-3.
Smith also suggested that those suffering the first obvious symptoms of Dreamer's disease, namely contemplating emigration to Australia, should first change their light bulbs. She is in discussions with Australian Government officials on the prospect of Australia providing Humanitarian Foreign Aid to British sufferers of this debilitating disease.
New research has highlighted a simple and inexpensive cure for Dreamer's disease: the light bulb!
Researchers have now proved, beyond the shadow of doubt, that Dreamer's disease is caused by poor lighting and can be cured overnight by replacing all incandescent light globes with full spectrum lights!
The light went on for Judith Smith, from the Institute of the Blinding Obvious, after many years of gloom deprivation as a migrant in Australia.
On her return to Leicester, she noticed that the ratings for the BBC TV programs "Escape To The Sun", "Living The Dream", "Get A New Life" and "Rent A Life" were 3 times those of the "Simpsons" and that moaning about overcrowding, the rat race, traffic and sundry other aspects of normal consumeristic modern life had reached epidemic proportions and was mortally threatening the very fabric of British Civilisation.
Smith's researches lead to her making even more disturbing claims that untreated Dreamer's disease is the single most important cause of Wars throught history. She has suggested that had Saddam Hussein used full spectrum lighting in his bunkers, the war in Iraq could have been averted and Iraq would have returned to Demonicacy many years earlier.
Asked about the scientific basis of her claims, Smith replied that vitamin D injections alone were insufficient to prevent or cure Dreamer's disease because full spectrum light was required to convert vitamin D to the active form D-3.
Smith also suggested that those suffering the first obvious symptoms of Dreamer's disease, namely contemplating emigration to Australia, should first change their light bulbs. She is in discussions with Australian Government officials on the prospect of Australia providing Humanitarian Foreign Aid to British sufferers of this debilitating disease.
Last edited by Megalania; Apr 11th 2003 at 1:07 am.
Apr 24th 2003, 4:53 am
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Red Light Gives You The Blues
Early to Bed, Early to Rise Makes You Healty, Wealthy and Wise
... also announced the discovery of what appears to be a novel 'photoreceptor system' in the human eye that regulates the biological and behavioural effects of light on the body. His team has established that specific wavelengths control the production of melatonin, with the blue region of the visible spectrum being the most potent.
... also announced the discovery of what appears to be a novel 'photoreceptor system' in the human eye that regulates the biological and behavioural effects of light on the body. His team has established that specific wavelengths control the production of melatonin, with the blue region of the visible spectrum being the most potent.
