johanne

Hello you lot...
well the latest on the court front is....my ex threatened me with court action some time ago but never carried it out ( all talk ) so i put an application to the court to remove my daughter, and i eventually got a date for the 29th sept, hurray only to open an envelope yesterday to see that my ex as decided he now wants court action too, and its a week b4 mine...the 22nd and i have to go to court 60 miles away to see his ugly face and try and get it sent back to were i live...its alot of messing around again..
I have good days and bad thinkin he will change his mind and let her go, i take my mins off aussie by doing housework and going for a jog at 6am cos i cant sleep and bugger me when i get the chance to sit down and turn tv on its bloody sons and daughters or some other aussie drivel on tv:scared:
I also wrote my 12 year old son a letter to school b4 he finished to say that he wouldnt be going back in cos i honestly thought we would have all this sorted, but NO, and now he cant get back in school cos there is no room for him so i have to appeal now...im going crazy...i dont know what will happen at court on the 22nd and then the 29th so fingers crossed some good will come out of it, otherwise im going to start popping prozac anyone else been in this situation any help gratefully taken on board ( and i dont mean the prozac )
cheers

Graham & Kath

Hiya Johanne

I know exactly how you feel!!!

My ex-husband is still refusing to sign so I can take my daughter who is 13 to oz. But as the solicitor says, the kids are old enough to make up their own mind and if you have had him all this time no way are the courts gonna give him to the old git!!

Men dont wan'em then cos you wanna get on with your life they think their God Almighty!!

Every time I ring mine up he makes some feeble excuse and my daughter has even told him herself she wants to go but NO hes got to make this statement, be different if he wanted to do anything.
I also know what you mean about looking at their faces, couldnt you just slap it sometimes, mine thinks hes so high and mighty!!

When you go to court just remember to keep calm and let them rant and rave he'll do himself no favours and at least you'll have the upper hand !!!

Hope it all goes well for you, if you dont mind me asking when did you apply to the courts and did you go through a solicitor??

Be thinking of you - good luck!!!

Kath

whisky

I agree with Kath, stay calm even if you are ready to blow a gasget in side when you are in that courtroom.

I haven't got that problem, but have with the School. We should have been moving out of the house originally on the 1st Sept with our sale, and really didn't think that my daughter would be starting secondary school here. We have hung on till yesterday before going out and wasting more money on uniforms that may only be for a few weeks.

Good luck Johanne. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Whisky

cresta57

We've taken the decision not to send Josh back to school. The school is rubbish and he is very very unhappy there. I'll "teach" him until it's time to go which hopefully will be very soon. Ironically we picked him up about this time last year from Oz so that he could start secondary school ho hum

Debbie

johanne

Hi kath thanks for your post...it helps knowing that there is others going through the same because you will know what im going through...i started the ball rolling through my solicitor and it as taken awhile because i was waiting for my statement of earnings , etc to come through...i didnt know thouigh that you can start proceedings yourself or i would have done that months ago, anyway will keep you posted on the court stuff and hopefully all will be ok. Good luck with your stuff to, i cant see yours being a problem though with your daughter being 13, she is old enough to know her own mind...take care
johanne

ellen fedulow

hi all
Sad to see so many people going through the consent thing. I would wager a bet that most of the fathers who are being akward are those that have little or no contact with their offspring!
i am about to start my skill assessment, hoping to send off for visa in Jan 04, i will need two absent fathers permission for consent, one is the the father of my 14 yr old daughter who is a total ars***** not only does he not see her (her choice), he has only just started paying maintainance a couple of months a go and me and hubbies car window screens have both been smashed! and the other ars****hasn't seen my son for 11 yrs (he's only 12) and although we were once married, albeit a short time!, he has recently told CSA he's not the father!
First ars**** is bound to fight me, just to be awkward.
Because i was married to them both (for my sins!!) they have to give permission, my solicitor says it will be costly and make take time so i am about to start the process, but me thinks she may be pulling a fast one because there has been many threads aboud this subject which suggests that in my case it may be just a formaility because of the kids ages and circumstances.
Has any one any more thoughts ? or ideas, like cost and time etc.

cheers
ellen1

johanne

[

pulling a fast one because there has been many threads aboud this subject which suggests that in my case it may be just a formaility because of the kids ages and circumstances.
Has any one any more thoughts ? or ideas, like cost and time etc.

cheers
ellen1 [/QUOTE] Hi ellen...sorry to hear about your dilema also, some men are complete arsewipes just for the sake of it...my eldest 2, who are 12 and 10 their dad doesnt bother with them anf hasnt done for at least 9 years, i had a pain in the arse to get their australian passports because he wouldnt sign and didnt return phonecalls to the consulate,so me and my husband travelled 160 miles and knocked on his door and stood there with my mobile in my hand while on the phone to the passport office and made him talk to them...i got there passports 10 days later
( some justice ) now i have my ex-husband to deal with he is a total arse....doesnt see my daughter doesnt pay anything but wont let her go apparently he wants to pay meback for something im supposed to have done, god knows what. Im due in court on the 22nd sept and then 29th, hopefully he will change his mind cos he doesnt stand a chance....why dont you start court proceedings yourself it will save quite a bit too...if your ex doesnt turn up you may be lucky and get permission to leave...your kids are old enough to know anyway...keep in touch and let me know how you get on..
chhers
johanne

Graham & Kath

Hiya Girls

I just wanted to say a couple of things - I hope you dont mind!!

1. You cant take your ex's to court yourself about £60 I was quoted from the courts - I wouldnt go through a solicitor mine was really good and told me lots of things so ..........take note.

1. Get all info were your gonna stay etc off internet even if you dont use the actual accomodation. He told me its good to go armed with a few details

2. Sit down with the kids and explain everything (which you probably have done!) Sorry i dont mean to sound condesending!!

3. Set out your finances etc and get copies of schools out there just a general guide to what the schools and like and thats about all you can do really, and houses and agency for jobs, its all just to show its not a whim thingy.

These men make me so angry my friend has gone thru it all as well why do they think that they can rule YOUR life cos lets face it thats what they wanna do!!! Mine still hasnt given consent.

I was told the courts basically (dont quote me on that though) give to the mother if emigrating cos if you've brought that child up there no way their gonna let you go and the kids stay behind!!! I know what you mean though cos its still really worrying. The courts get welfare involved and they usually ask the child who they wanna live with so even though its hard, try not to worry surely these judges cant be that hard and say,

"Ok your Mums gonna move to the other side of the world, and your Dad who has nothing to do with you/you dont know is gonna make you live with him!!" Surely not???? Mind you I do still worry about it especially, the other day my 13 year asked me "If I cant live with you and Dad gets angry will they make me go into a home??" I mean, what can you say to them to reassure them - they must worry about it just as much!!!

I wish you girls all the very best of luck and let us all know how we each get on over the next few weeks - Good luck!!

Kath

Nibbs

Hi Folks,

I'm a dad (in situ) and it makes my blood boil that either parent can do something out of spite which affects the children.

We made a choice about marriage (still got the bruises from the shot gun ).

God knows I pray that any choice I make is in Jack's best interests.

I truly wish you guys all the best and hope you get to start your new lives as soon as possible!

johanne

Hi nibbs, thanks for your post, its nice to hear that some men actually do care about their offspring whether they are with the mother or not, unfortunately a large amount dont seem to care. My husband is taking my eldest 2 over and getting them settled into a school and sorting a house out before we get there, we have family there also which helps..it will help with the luggage situation as well, so i will be left over here with my 2 youngest ( 7 year old whose dad im fighting against ) and my 4 year old...
anyway take care and keep in touch...
johanne..

ellen fedulow

Hi all
it gives me no pleasure in saying it but it feels good to know that i am not the only one in this situation!
Does any one know when You have to send off the parental consent? is it with the main visa application? or is it requested later with the medicals etc? coz if i were to sort it out now and don't apply for visa till early next year will it still be valid?

cheers
ellen1

cresta57

Hi Ellen,
We failed to include it with the main application [hoped to get away without] They then requested it with the meds/police checks
Sean
PS it should be valid still as long as your circumstances havn't changed.

Watt Dabney

Just thought you folks who had put your thoughts and energy into this post had the right to know you are being held up for ridicule on a rather charming newsgroup called alt.support.childfree on an equally charming thread called 'trainwrecks emigrating' http://www.google.co.nz/groups?dq=&n...dfree&start=25 (not sure if link will work)

This is a place where childfree people by choice rant about what a crap job we are all doing and when they are not doing that they enjoy cutting and pasting news stories about abused children

footie chick

Hi Johanne

Meant to reply to this the other day. Can`t help as not in the same situation but just wanted to say Good luck with it all.

Hope it all works out !!

footie chick x

johanne

Hi watt...just had alook at the google stuff and i was ready to post something rather nasty to dear old winnie but decided against it cos the old sow isnt worth my time...but maybe i will change my mind later