COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

Hi me again :rofl:
Its my daughters birthday at the end of the month and then christmas, it is the first time we have ever been apart, we kind of grew up together as i had her when i was young and we were/are very very close, it has been one of the hardest things i have ever had to do in my life leaving her behind but she is an adult and has her own life and i respect that.
But we are both really going through the sadness at the moment thinking about the coming months and even though we are positive thinkers and believe you get what you ask for i am asking how people cope with that first year away from people you love.
I am very happy here and so thankful that i have a loving husband who is fantastic and wipes my snotty nose when the tears are flowing:rofl:
It would be nice to hear some happy stories and i am excited about my first Christmas with my new hubby:thumbsup::wub:

P.S IS IT CORRECT ETICATE TO RETURN KARMA TO THE PERSONS WHO SENT ME SOME, DON'T WANT TO SEEM RUDE :rofl:

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

Hiya, If its any help this is my advice. Don't try to have an English Christmas, but do something to take advantage of whatever the weather is at the time, do something touristy, or see friends if you can, or even get on the forum and talk to others feeling the same. On Christmas day when I was living in Japan, with my precious girls in Oz, I went to the library!!!
DO though make an arrangement to talk to your beloved daughter on Christmas day. Somehow once you talk to them the pain isnt so bad (in my experience). Have you got a computer with a webcam, that might even help. Most of all enjoy the season with that great new hubby of yours and remember how brave you are to live this new life.

Very best of luck

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

I am not the best person to ask as I was thoroughly miserable our first Christmas but we hadn't been here all that long, I was trying to adjust to a new job & we were living in temporary accomodation that was small & very hot!
It is a time of year when you will miss people more than usual & I think you just have to accept that. Talking to friends & family & skype all help though.
You are very fortunate to have a supportive husband & you are clearly very happy with your new life, so you will get through it:fingerscrossed:

Re karma, you can return it if you want but you certainly don't have to, choice is yours!:D

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

As suggested, do something different, don't try to turn it into a British Christmas. We did an "orphans" barbie once with friends who were also away from family, with king prawns and beautiful meat thrown on, a few drinks and yummy desserts. Another time we went camping. Left on Christmas day and had the campsite to ourselves until Boxing Day. Phone calls are good although I'm always a bit of a mess afterwards, so I make sure I have something to look forward to after the calls (opening presents, a good bottle of wine, or some friends visiting) and that helps distract me from the longing for family. Now we have children, I am quite looking forward to it, even though I still miss my parents and sisters.

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

The first year was pretty hard for me away from my boy. I had him very young too, so know where you are coming from there. Although we didn't have that mother/daughter bond, we were close.

I did have two other kids to worry about though, so I kept myself busy with them. That probably helped a lot!

I really missed my Brother too. I've spent every Xmas with him for as long as I can remember. He felt pretty lost as well, so he started volunteering with a homeless center near where we live. He does that every day now, not just at Xmas. He's also a street angel at the weekends.

Anyway, with that in mind, maybe you could volunteer for something. Maybe help in a homeless centre, visit the old people in a home or visit someone in hospital? Anything like that - it will take your mind off missing people, and give you a great sense of satisfaction that you made someone elses Xmas special :)

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

This will be my first Christmas away from my older 3 & it's my sons birthday at the beginning of January as well. I've not actually spent Christmas day with them in about 8 years but have always seen them a few days after Christmas & normally gone to my parents with them but obviously that won't be happening this year. It's also going to be hard on them as it's not just me but their half brother & sister who won't be there with them this year.

I know we've made the right move by coming here but Christmas & the first birthdays away from my older kids are going to be very hard. There have been a hell of a lot of tears already. I've no doubt I'll get to talk/skype them on Christmas Day. My daughter has been speaking to me on skype over the last week before she leaves for school in the morning & I always feel so much happier for a chat with her & I'm sure it must be making a better start to her day as well other wise she wouldn't be getting up earlier on a week day to chat to me.

Sorry I can't offer any advice as I'm in a similar situation. I think I'm just going to have to go with the flow.

Alison x

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

Hi guys and gals,
well ho ho ho bloody ho its to hot for Christmas:rofl::thumbup::(
trying my hardest xmas decs, tree up early xmas cd playing, singing santa out singing the singing xmas fairy its like a freeking mad house here,but the sweat running down my butt is telling me nope try all you like its not bloody xmas :rofl:

then today my daughter told me they have booked the flights for the end of march :thumbsup::wub:my baby girl (yes i still call her that:rolleyes:) is coming over was jumping for joy then burst into tears:blink:"how am i going to cope when she leaves":rofl:

you know what i need to go with the flow, chill have a glass of baileys and stick my head in the freezer!!(well it beats the cooker)

hope all of you who are here for their first christmas have a bloody fantastic one tears and laughter but fun all the way :wub:

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

That's brilliant news for you, what a great Christmas present even if you do have to wait until March!

Alison x

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

I must disagree with some of the guys on here we pay homage to what we have always done, Turkey, the works, iced xmas cake etc, makes us STILL a small part of the people we left behind , Not longing to be there just to remember the guys back home - Each to their own - Stick with it this is the best country in the world
The Pomster

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

Totally agree with you mate. Just cos you have moved countries/continents does not necessarily mean you need to ditch all your old tradtions if you dont want to.
We are coming up for our 4th christmas here and have pretty much done all the traditional UK christmas stuff each year - hasn't made us feel homesick at all. :thumbup:

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

For our first southern hemisphere Christmas, we decided it was time to start some new traditions, but incorporate some of our old favourite things as part of it, so we didn't feel homesick or find things too strange.

Actually we found it a real relief not to have to spend ages slaving away preparing a large Christmas dinner, nor deal with the huge mound of dirty pots and pans afterwards. We didn't feel the need to have a huge meal when the weather was nice and warm. Instead we prepared most food in advance and had a mainly cold buffet including some of the same foods we would have had with a hot meal in the UK. We even managed to get hold of some proper Paxo stuffing, which is nice hot or cold in sarnies :thumbsup: We also had loads of fresh fruit, which is so much more tasty when it's grown in season. We made a point of trying some new local wine and making our favourite summer cocktails.

We also did the cliche thing and went to the beach in the afternoon. It was amazing to see people there, complete with huge great big BBQ's they had lugged onto the beach, and bumped into loads of people we knew. It was much more social is a strange sort of way, as in UK Christmas for most people involves doing the rounds with the relatives, whereas here it seems much more common to socialise with friends and I think this stops you from feeling homesick.

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

My other half likes the olde world type of christmas, he had better get used to sun/sea and sand instead of cold/wet and turkey:eek:

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

Hi guys MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all and i hope that whatever you are doing be it turkey with all the trimming or BBQ you have a fantastic day,:wub:

I have totally gone through the mill this last couple off weeks, coming out the other side slowly sorting things out and trying so hard to stay positive but omg its hard, being here with it all when all i want to do is get on a plane be with my family and friends:unsure:

I know there are others so much worse off than me and i thank god i have what i have so a mental kick up my ass and maybe a few from you guys and i will be fine:rofl:

Here's looking forward to 2011 and hopefully a more settled year xx

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

Have a hug from one who knows :wub:
I was doing fine this year by calming pretending Christmas didn't exist. Then I opened an envelope full of homemade Christmas cards and a school photo of my god-daughter. So much for the stiff upper lip :rolleyes:

Hope Christmas goes OK for you and you manage to enjoy most of it - with just the occasional wobble!

Re: COPING WITH THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS
 

Hi all
I was hoping this thread would prepare me for next year and all I did was cry at it lol. I not had first chrustmas in Oz yet and already I am crying :rofl: go figure but I must admit I keep having the this could be the last time we do this so pink I feel for you and heres some wet but well ment hugs.