Chav nativity
Dec 7th 2005, 8:47 am
#1
womble
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,675
Chav nativity
it's a joke, yeah?
================================================== =
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I
ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all
about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another
message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if
you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns
water into Stella.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
================================================== =
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I
ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all
about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another
message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if
you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns
water into Stella.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
Dec 7th 2005, 8:48 am
#2
Banned
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me
Posts: 4,513
Re: Chav nativity
ummmm, think I saw that in da lounge the other day
Dec 7th 2005, 8:49 am
#3
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 12,063
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by OriginalSunshine
it's a joke, yeah?
================================================== =
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I
ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all
about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another
message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if
you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns
water into Stella.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
================================================== =
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I
ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all
about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another
message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if
you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns
water into Stella.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
Dec 7th 2005, 8:57 am
#4
womble
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,675
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by Luke I Amyofath
ummmm, think I saw that in da lounge the other day
Dec 7th 2005, 8:59 am
#5
Banned
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me
Posts: 4,513
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by OriginalSunshine
I didnt. So sue me - I found it funny.
Dec 7th 2005, 9:02 am
#6
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 12,063
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by Luke I Amyofath
Awwww, there there..............
Dec 7th 2005, 9:02 am
#7
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,630
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by OriginalSunshine
it's a joke, yeah?
================================================== =
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I
ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all
about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another
message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if
you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns
water into Stella.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
================================================== =
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I
ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all
about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another
message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if
you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns
water into Stella.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
Absolutely fantastic - I've printed it off to pin up at work and p**s the managers off as it's so un pc
Dec 7th 2005, 9:11 am
#8
Banned
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me
Posts: 4,513
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by possoms
what is your problem?
I merely mentioned that this copy/pasted thread by the op had allready made the rounds in the lounge and I get a child like response of "sue me"
Bugger off, I dont have any problem..... What is YOUR problem ?
Dec 7th 2005, 9:24 am
#9
womble
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,675
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by suzy
Absolutely fantastic - I've printed it off to pin up at work and p**s the managers off as it's so un pc
Dec 7th 2005, 9:31 am
#10
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,630
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by OriginalSunshine
braver than me, but I guess you dont get the religious police in your country
Yeah we do at my company - they're called management
I will confess to being a bit of a coward as I do shift work and can sneak about early pinning stuff up. I usually get a few other peeps to help me
Dec 7th 2005, 10:01 am
#11
womble
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,675
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by suzy
Yeah we do at my company - they're called management
I will confess to being a bit of a coward as I do shift work and can sneak about early pinning stuff up. I usually get a few other peeps to help me
yeah, I did that once a few years ago in a different job - found a picture of my colleagues bending over doing their pre-fun-run stretches (picture taken from behind) on a shared computer drive, photoshopped the words "To the management team, Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year" onto the photo, printed it out at A3, and then stuck it on their coffee room door entrance.and then ran away and pretended to know nothing about it!
Dec 7th 2005, 11:09 am
#12
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,630
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by OriginalSunshine
LOL!
yeah, I did that once a few years ago in a different job - found a picture of my colleagues bending over doing their pre-fun-run stretches (picture taken from behind) on a shared computer drive, photoshopped the words "To the management team, Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year" onto the photo, printed it out at A3, and then stuck it on their coffee room door entrance.
and then ran away and pretended to know nothing about it!
yeah, I did that once a few years ago in a different job - found a picture of my colleagues bending over doing their pre-fun-run stretches (picture taken from behind) on a shared computer drive, photoshopped the words "To the management team, Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year" onto the photo, printed it out at A3, and then stuck it on their coffee room door entrance.and then ran away and pretended to know nothing about it!
How childish
Love it
Dec 7th 2005, 11:35 am
#13
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Rockingham, Perth
Posts: 5,170
Re: Chav nativity
Laugh, I nearly killed the pope.
really really funny cheers for that
lace x
really really funny cheers for that
lace x
Dec 7th 2005, 4:32 pm
#14
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 20
Re: Chav nativity
Originally Posted by OriginalSunshine
it's a joke, yeah?
================================================== =
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I
ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all
about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another
message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if
you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns
water into Stella.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
================================================== =
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I
ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all
about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another
message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if
you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns
water into Stella.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
Dec 7th 2005, 4:45 pm
#15
Worongary
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: GC hinterland
Posts: 10,288
Re: Chav nativity
absolutley funny as f++k
try the following link for the chav anthem
http://www.flashplayer.com/music/Cha...nRhapsody.html
enjoy
regards steve
try the following link for the chav anthem
http://www.flashplayer.com/music/Cha...nRhapsody.html
enjoy
regards steve