tiredwithtwins

Eyup flower!!
sorry i missed this yesterday...glad to hear your plans are all coming together!
i dont work for the college any more, and when i was made redundant they took no time in stopping my access to my college intranet - so i never got chance to retrieve your email address (not that i could have emialed you, as you dont work where you worked now!).
glad to hear bundymum is still going strong. I had to make a similar call to a family myself at work yesterday....its very hard, knowing they are literally going to drop everything from wherever they are in the country to dash to the patients bedside just to be there.....your heart must have stopped when you got the call. my heart goes out to you.

so when do we get to hear about the new chap then, eh???

and more to the point, does he know you have several hundred people from around the world cheering you on??

take care hunny,

sue xx

ClaireandDerek

I've just spent the best part of half an hour reading "your story". I can hardly type this as I am close to tears as it takes me back to my own Mum's fight with this horrible disease.

I lost my Mum to breast cancer 9 years ago (she was only 53 when she died), so I really feel for you. Alot has happened in that time. We were actually on a working holiday in Perth, Western Australia when we found out my Mum had cancer. We came straight back and spent the next 18 months until she died talking like we had never talked. Mum kept setting herself goals like my wedding, then Christmas, but finally the struggle became too much for her and she passed away very peacefully in February 1996 (just 6 months after our wedding).

They say time is a great healer but for me it never gets any easier you just learn to live with it. There isn't a day goes by that I don't think of Mum and wish that she was here. However, I am thankful for the time we did have and because we knew we didn't have long we spoke about everything and I know she knew how much we all loved her (and still do). For me that has been what has got me through the many difficult times since, as one of the few "benefits" of an illness like this is that things don't just come to an end overnight, therefore you have at least some time to say all the things you want to. Please make sure you do that!

I am not sure if you are still working, but I also had a non-compassionate boss, and the one thing I do regret is that although I took holidays and worked reduced hours some days. I should have just stayed home with Mum. Even if this meant I had had to be signed off with stress! You can never get the time back and work really is not that important.

Don't worry about puting your plans on hold you know you have no choice. Nine years after losing Mum we are now about to go back to Perth for good with our two children. Dad has now remarried and I feel a little better about leaving him now.

Really, all I am trying to say is you will get through this. Just make sure your Mum knows how special she is. I know it's not always easy finding the right words but the words aren't important it's what you are trying to say that matters. I hope I haven't upset you further by talking about losing my Mum, but you know what you are facing and I hope you take comfort from the many people who seem to have you in their thoughts.

Anyway take care

I will be thinking of you in the weeks ahead.

Take care

Claire

bundy

Lol, thanks Sue, good to hear from you...I'll PM you my new email address.

Getting the call was certainly a heart-stopping moment. My brother had phoned me as I was hammering up the A1 in preparation for an interview the next day, but all he said was that my mum had been admitted. I'd just finished sunday lunch with the new man and his family when I got the call (just before apple crumble, typical timing). My dad was in pieces, just about all I got out of him was 'less than 24 hours' and 'get here now' which was more than enough for me to drop the phone and drive straight to Manchester Airport with the man. Getting to Jersey was a nightmare - we managed to get a flight as far as Gatwick with Jet2 and BA were *supposed* to have held tickets for us on a flight down to Jersey. Only they didn't, so at the last minute we booked on a FlyBe flight, the last to Jersey that night.

All was going well until we arrived at Gatwick to find another plane on our stand and all we could do was sit there while our (admittedly tight) check in time evaporated. Despite our pliot radioing the FlyBe check in desk to ask them to wait, the miserable people closed it five minutes early and refused to allow us on to the flight after we eventually arrived on our stand (ironically the stand next to the flight we were supposed to be getting on). I was, erm, hysterical by this point. The pilot tried to arrange on on-board check-in so that we could transfer from one plane straight to the next but thejobsworth dispatcher refused to allow it. It was our last hope. But get this for a service - our lovely Jet2 pilot put on his little yellow jacket, walked down the steps of our plane where we were being kept 'sterile' ( ) and up the steps of the FlyBe plane. Bear in mind that his own flight was now delayed by 30 minutes and the next lot of passengers had got onboard with us. This wonderful man managed to persuade the FlyBe captain to allow us on the flight. He came back to tell us but then received a call to say that the dispatcher had gone to the British Aviation Authority to complain!!!!!!!!! Another 10 minutes passed before he finally came to collect us and escort us to our next flight. So, we delayed two flights, had the BAA tying itself in knots and recieved hugs and tears from 5 aircraft crew. I have never been so relieved to get to Jersey in all my life!

As for the new man, since you're all asking, all I shall say at this stage is that he is very lovely indeed and makes me extremely happy. I've known him for a while and love him very much. Yes, Simone, he is from Up North and is thus a big impulse behind the move.

ub40fan

So glad that things are working out for you in lots of directions, you really deserve it. Off to get a tissue now as I have just read the last updated bit.

bundy

Thanks Claire - not upset at all, it really helps to hear from people who have been there because it reminds me that I'll get through it myself.

I battled with my boss all last year but managed to decamp to Jersey for over 4 months out of the last 12, often being there for 4 or 5 weeks at a time. It wasn't easy - I still had to work albeit remotely, so I was fitting in 37.5 hours of work in between visits to the hospital etc and nursing my mum (and dad, who had a nervous breakdown when my mum was diagnosed). I basically gave up on sleeping. Whenever I was back from Jersey, usually only for a few days, it would be straight back to work to catch up. But my work didn't suffer and it means a lot to me to have spent so much time over there. I know I've said all that needs saying, and that's a good position to be in.

I still can't imagine a world without my mum, and knowing that she won't be there on my wedding day (whenever that happens, lol!), or see her grandchildren (unless my brother gets cracking) is really hard. Heart-breaking, in many ways. But I'm not about to dwell on all the things she'll miss because she's still here and I refuse to grieve for her until she's gone.

I fretted about putting my plans on hold at first - without meaning it in a nasty way, it did feel like the circumstances had 'messed everything up'...my relationship suffered and ended, and with it went my plans to move to Oz. Work was a nightmare from which I couldn't escape because of owing them so much time. I had little contact with friends for months on end, didn't take any holiday time, my health suffered. But I came out the other side and although pretty much everything fell apart, what I've managed to make from the pieces that were left has made me happier than I've been in a long, long time. I have a fantastic new man, a new job, a new home and a whole vista of promising prospects on the horizon. There's plenty of crap to come, but at least I now have some good things - and good people - to help me through it.

Bundy xx

Un-Co

Those of you who know her know this already but this lady is an absolute legend. As a "real world" mate (and witness at my wedding) she's held my head on through some really awful times and dramas. The past year for her has been a rollercoaster which she's managed to ride, stay in one piece and still raise a smile. She's one in a million.

bundy

Awww, mate, you've made me blub.

Suffice to say, this rollercoaster I've been on has only been made bearable by the likes of you in my life. We may be thousands of miles apart, but you're still one of my closest and dearest friends. Hoping to return the favour whenever possible (without wishing any more dramas and crap, of course!).

Love ya mate.

Desdemona

And that is really the most important thing Bundy. Much relieved that BM made it through her most recent crisis and that she's still here with you. A big hug to BM and your lovely Dad.
Mostly pleased about the the lovely new man in your life to help you through the rough times. With lots of hugs and love to you and your lovely family.
Love, Desi

sophia

hiya bundy

what a lovely surprise to have another update from you!! And even better to hear that BM lives to fight another day...what strength she has!!

So pleased to hear that you're rebuilding your life, by 'eck lass you deserve it! Hope your new man is looking after you well and you're enjoying life in Leeds (my old patch!!....isn't the shopping just FAB!!)

Keep us up to date whenever you get chance, I wish you and your family lots of love and courage to face the challenges ahead.

lots of love

sophia xxx

dazandreb

Just a shame your new man has recked someone elses dreams and cost others Thousands. And you were there at his leaving Do,talking to me of all things.

Professional Princess

How has the new man recked someones dreams and cost thousands?

Just curious.

dazandreb

Maybe Bundy might want to explain for you.

Bob

How is Bundy these days? haven't heard anything in ages....the crap threads dead without her...

anya4oz

Bundy hasn't posted on this forum for over a month now. Isn't it a bit vindictive to post veiled accusations like this, when she isn't here to defend herself?

If you have an issue with her, why don't you take it up with her directly, rather than try & involve BE people?

Anya.

lindseyden

I really hope this is said tongue in cheek.