nicanjoe

Hi all,

I know there have been other threads on helping kids with the thought of moving so far away, and they've really helped with my older two kids, they are actually now really excited to go. My wee five year old son, who is truly the happiest child I've ever met, asked me last night when we go to Australia when will we come back mummy? I said well we're not. He said we're coming back never! curled up on my lap and began truly sobbing, please mummy I'll miss nana and papa and aunty too much etc etc. I told him they would come visit and we would visit here as well, he asked about my husbands parents (who have informed us they will NEVER come visit us, as his mums afraid to fly) after about 20 mins I asked if he was still feeling sad, and he said I'm not sad mum, I think I have a break heart, and continued crying. I have never seen him so distraught, and I just didn't know what to say, except we loved him, and it would be okay, and mummy, daddy and his brother and sister would be there with him. Any advice to help a wee one get through without too much pain would be really appreciated.

Nicanjoe

Angela Marie

[QUOTE=nicanjoe]Hi all,

- Gosh that's really sad.
Not sure really what to say to that - other than He will probably thank you in the distant future for the opportunity you will have given him.

We have the opposite problem with a 16 year old , not sure how He will settle

Good luck!
angela

Wendy

Aw bless him.

What I did with my daughter (6) was to get her looking on the internet at pictures of Australia. I also bought a book which was full of touristy info, I know it's nothing to do with actually living there but it did help as we looked through to find things to do when we get there. She has a rather large list now !!.

I think you really just need to keep them involved. Even though we think they are only babies it's still a big thing for them, probably more so.

My daughter also has a scrap book which she fills with picture of things she particularly likes or would like to do.

She is now at the stage where she is looking at schools she thinks she may want to go to and houses she wants to live in.

Good Luck with him.

Bella Donna

Have PMd you.

Sue

Rachelle

I'm really worried about how our 4 year old daughter will take it - we have kept her involved as much as we can but how can someone that age comprehend just how far we are going - we've tried to show her on a globe and stuck stickers showing her all the places she's already been but I can tell it's not sinking in and it worries me too.

iPom

This is tough enough for us adults so I don't know how the little ones cope really.

My older children are fine with it, (9 and 6) but we are having a leaving party for them to help them deal with leaving.
My son is 3 and he is taking a leaving cake to nursery. I have chatted with him a huge amount because although he doesn't remember going to Aus last time on hols, he knows that we are going somewhere. I believe it's really important to talk things through and to keep bringing it up all the time.
Talk about the things you're going to do there, and have a look at the internet pics as suggested above.
Talk especially to them about the friends they are going to meet there, and how there is a special girl or boy just waiting for him or her to get to Aus... but they don't know it yet.

Talk about the animals and how you're all going to the zoo when you get there (after the jetlag has gone!) and what the weather is going to be like.

I don't believe for one minute this blackmail some of the grandparents are coming out with ... Most change their minds, swallow their pride and get on a plane. For others, they'll never expand their outlook sadly.

Talk, talk, talk... that's my only recommendation. Talk about your new house, how much bigger it will be, and the swings in the garden and going swimming after school or whatever ... start building a really happy, positive picture in their mind. If the rellies aren't there and you're starting without them, then talk about the spare room and how it will be for Grandma and Grandad when they come... keep these people active in their lives even if it is just through photographs.

Take a camera and shoot all the places that your child knows and loves, including people... In a few months in Aus, he'll be remembering his old life less and less and his new one more and more ...

But keep it simple - They don't get huge concepts like flying to the other side of the world and never seeing people again... just keep it simple and relaxed. Don't fret too much... they'll pick up on itl.

A year from now you'll have a lovely sun kissed Aussie who's loving his life. I've seen it happen over and over. I promise.

iPom

PS - I should have mentioned, it's natural to be sad ... he's dealing with new concepts so fret not and just love him to bits and keep talking about it.... Everyone needs a mourning period ... even us.

Wendy

Another thing I've done that's just come to mind is I bought my kids and their Grandma a webcam each and told the kids that whenever they miss Grandma they can talk to her through the computer. My little girl things this is brilliant.

She is now more excited about going than we are

nicanjoe

Thanks Wendy, you know that is exactly what I did with my daughter (10) and she also has a scrap book, and is planning to do a presentation for her class on Australia. It worked beautifully for her, my 7 year old son is thrilled to be anywhere there is water, and spiders and snakes, even though he knows he can't touch them! I tried to show my 5 yr old pictures of Kangaroos and told him he could meet a dolphin, and he said okay, just bring them here to our house. I did get an idea from your post though, maybe I'll e-mail the school they will be attending (hopefully) and see if some of the kindergarten kids can e-mail a note back.
Can't hurt to try.

Nicanjoe

Rachelle

That's what we've had to promise my mum to stop the tears - never mind our daughter!

iPom

Hi Wendy .. yes we're doing that too.

Wendy

Yes I did get the impression from my MIL that she was as glad as the kids that I'd bought them

Dorothy

My heart is breaking just reading this. I'm so sorry he's so upset. First with your oldest not wanting to go and now with your youngest. Don't worry too much, though. He's sure to have a change of heart once you get there and he sees how wonderful everything is.
PM me and we can look at getting the kids together so he will have some new friends when he gets there. My two are getting more excited by the day and hopefully some of their excitement will rub off on him.
Dorothy

Wendy

I bet that when we all get there the kids will be the first to adjust to the changes and we'll all wonder what we were worried about.

nicanjoe

Thanks so much everyone, some great advice we will get the webcam and take lots of pictures as well. It's good to hear others advice as you don't know wether to keep talking about it, or just say nothing so they're not sad, the consensus seems to be to talk about the positive, so that's what we'll do. I think your right Wendy(I believe) when you said they'll be all settled in and happy and we'll be scratching our heads wondering why we worried so much, I certainly hope so anyway.

Dotnron, will pm you.

Nicanjoe