RayZor

Hi,

I know its early days, everyone is saying give it time etc....but been here 3 months now with wife and two young kids....here is brissy

We have got sorted relatively quickly, got a lovelly rental house in Wellington Point....kids in school....I've got a great job....weather is great etc...and life is good...made lots of friends...but...

All this does not make up for the friends and family we left behind.....I just feel like we are living in a bubble here and it all seems a bit of sureal long holiday like we dont belong here and just need to burst the bubble and go back "home"...

It took us soooo long to apply and now we have done it I cant remember why we came ( backpacking dream 10 years ago?)....I know... I know give it time and we will...2 years everyone says seems to be the norm, but just cant see what will change between now and then - so what will change? We have put this in our minds as a temporary thing (2 years) and take a view after that....but convincing ourselves that we are definetly going back home after that - this is the only way we can get through it I think....the thought that "this is it for good" horrifies us...

I would welcome any motivational pitches....

Dreamaway 10

Firstly may I be the first to say I know just how you feel.
Maybe you may want to go on the Moving Back to the UK forum.
You will gets lots of support and believ me you are not alone.

3 months is not long but sometimes you just know that you have made a mistake and things will not be right no matter how long you stay.
Good Luck.

busterboy

Hi RayZor

I am sorry to hear that things are not what you expected but please stick in there for a while, it is too early to really adapt to a whole new country and its ways.

I recommend that you get together with some ex-pats in Brisbane and start building a network of friends for support.

Good luck to you

BB

iPom

Hey Ray... It took us a good few months to stop feeling like we were on holiday and to really settle in a bit. It's 8 months down the line and I'm just making friends properly and organising nights out etc. It's tough and it does take time.


Whilst you have accomplished all this stuff, have you actually taken time out to really enjoy your local area and chill a little? 3 months is such a short time to be making decisions about making mistakes esp when your first months have been so full of stuff.
It's the weekend, so how about playing tourist? Dolphins, boat trip, do something you wouldn't normally do.
We dream of this stuff from afar and once we're here, life can really take over unless you make an effort to step out of your ordinary life and habits. If you're living the same life you were in the UK, then yes, I agree,,, what's the point? If you're not, then stick with it, give it 100% and if at the end of the day/year you still don't feel better about it, then re-assess the situation then.

moneypenny20

Speaking only for me but if I were struggling a bit, the Moving Back is the last place I would go to.

There is tons of support both here and in Moving Back. Maybe you don't need two years, maybe this life is just not for you. Whatever the reasons, failure is definitely not one of them and if you go back - you've lost nothing but some money but gained one hell of a lot of experience.

On the other hand, three months is a very common time to wonder. You are obviously not on a holiday and general mundane life has settled in with avengence - you can start wondering why you did it when it's not so different from your life in the UK.

You might find that, get the next few weeks over, summer arrives and things pick up. It's a matter or really trying to remember what made you go through the application process in the first place. Looking at what you have and what you think you miss. So many people look back with the same rose tinteds on that they wore prior to getting here, go back and realise that actually here is where they want to be.

If you came for a change of lifestyle, have you changed it. If you came because you had fallen out of love with the UK = it hasn't changed. If you came just for the experience, then try and get out and explore, try and take trips and time out to find out more about the country and enjoying what the country has, rather than looking at each other and wondering why. You might be doing these things in which case I apologise but I think I can understand how people get depressed, and then see more and more negatives and end up hating the place when it's not the place, it's just not where you should be in your own heads.

Good luck with it all.

liver bird

I just want to give you and your family a big hug as we feel exactly the same been here in a month so sorry am crap at motivating. Only positive thing is people keep saying that it does take time and at the end of the day, two years does fly by (hear my convincing voice ). If you want to pm or meet up (although we are in the gap with a 3 and a one year old. But I do have to tell you to give yourself a pat on your back as you've achieved an amazing amount in three months, a job, house and kids in school, that's brilliant when you think about it. Also, I know it's daft but it's bound to be hard as it's the biggest move anyone can ever do, You'd feel odd if you moved elsewhere in the UK and this is ten million times more weird. JUst take a day at a time and time (we are) and hopefully this awful homesickness will subside. It helps if you get webcam and skype if you don't alrealdy? chin up, you're not alone xxx

Pollyana

Whereabouts in Brissie are you ? - someone may be just round the corner without you knowing it

mumomonty

Give it time. It sounds hollow to you now but, by the sound of it, you have worked so very hard to get there and you remained motivated enough over the last 10 years to still want to come back to live in Australia.

It took me about 31/2 years, with lots of moving back and forth and now I do not miss the UK and everyone that knows me knows that is a huge step.

. I honestly was the most muddled up, homesick, unfocused, wondery why I did it person on the planet but I still get a kick when I see Australia. If you feel like you still have that little glow at the back of your head, even if it is hard for you now, stick it out because when you are sat back in blighty with Coronation St. blaring, chavs taking over etc. (sorryi f poor examples) that spark will come back to you every waking hour.

The 'this is for good' thought is so terrifyingat the time, yet common.

My words won't mean a thing at the mo, but don't waste energy, funds, emotions on thinking you should be somewhere else. YOU are there for now. It doesn't have to be forever but FOR NOW you're there. Try and not get sucked into the negatives like I did. I lost a lot of myself along the way.

Give it time; Would you see theewonderful birdlife in the UK? Sure you might miss the villages and intimate feel of the UK lanes and taverns, but what do you LIKE now about where you live?

Australia from the UK is like moving to the moon. Do not underestimate how intoxicating it can be after a visit. Join clubs, do not turn down the offer of say, playing tennis, hiking, fishing.

Good luck. I wish you well. Like I say I have wasted a lot of time by not giving it time in the first place.

Mumo...

Juliecabs

I've pm'd you Rayzor.

Julie. x

iPom

Good for you Nigel... hope Adelaide works out for you. I'd be there if there wasn't family here. It's lovely.

kellyjs

Hey there
Please don't give up just yet. I have been here for 2 months and 3 weeks and came so close to going back last week I actually sat with credit card in hand looking at flights. At that point I posted a thread (ping pong pom) and the amount of support I got was amazing. I am not far from you, either in the UK or in Oz (lived in Lewisham now in Cleveland) I have had days when its got so bad I didnt think I could hold it together, then I have days where I am so happy and grateful to have the opportunity to live in such a fantastic place. All I can say is try to ride it out, give it a bit longer, at least you are working and are paying your way through the experience (unlike me lol) Don't see it as forever and that will make it so much more bearable, see it as an experience and where you are at for now
As I said I am not far so PM me if you fancy meeting up sometime, theres a few of us in this area so plenty of support :-)
All the best
Kelly xxxx

kellyjs

Blimey is that you Ipom? do we have a face to a name?

mjj

We are from Orpington and also live in Cleveland. We arrived in September this year. Send us a PM if you would like a chat.

cheers

MJJ

TraceyW

You poor things you. I understand so well just what you're feeling.

It's still very early days in the settling process. It's such an upheaval and things seem really alien to you. Of course you're going to miss family/friends and home. You've spent years living in that environment, it's what you know. This is all new to you and you're all probably feeling out of your comfort zone.

Why don't you try to enjoy the summer here, get out and about as much as possible then re-assess the situation come the autumn. If you still feel exactly the same, ok go home. But at least you haven't had to endure the cold UK winter!

TraceyW

hey, I thought that was me? My OH reckons I change my mind more times than my knickers!!!