Bloody ex partners!!!!
Apr 17th 2007, 7:17 pm
#1
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Location: Hobart, Tasmania
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Bloody ex partners!!!!
We feel we need to share our feelings with others, maybe it will make us feel better. My step-daughters father has not seen her for 5 years, the whole thing has been very tough in the past..involving court/access blah blah...
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
Apr 17th 2007, 7:44 pm
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Plymouth UK - Canberra
Posts: 221
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
We feel we need to share our feelings with others, maybe it will make us feel better. My step-daughters father has not seen her for 5 years, the whole thing has been very tough in the past..involving court/access blah blah...
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
DON'T WORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My Ex Hubby still sees the kids - every now and then......he will not allow name change, which makes things massively difficult when I sign anything for them, I have to put (mum) after anything because our surnames are different! GREAT!
We are a family of 5 with a dog - 3 of us are Cooks - 2 are Mumfords. Application is messy, but complete. It is quite common place now.
As for applying to Courts - we did. We started off using Solicitor - NIGHTMARE ££££££££££££ - ended up doing it ourselves - we now have 2 Court Orders - one for remving kids from the Juristiction - one for perm taking out of country!
PM me if you need any more info
GOOD LUCK
Angie
Apr 17th 2007, 7:45 pm
#3
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Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Woop Woop
Posts: 4,808
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
We feel we need to share our feelings with others, maybe it will make us feel better. My step-daughters father has not seen her for 5 years, the whole thing has been very tough in the past..involving court/access blah blah...
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
Many people on here have been through similar things and have come out the other end one way or another - me included.
There are no hard and set rules or things to do here. Each situation is unique - so just take each day as it goes - take advice from solicitors and maybe seek the advice of an emigration agent who can really tell you what is what.
Good luck
Apr 17th 2007, 8:47 pm
#4
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Joined: Jun 2004
Location: The Gold Coast
Posts: 3,069
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
I was in a similar situation.
Ex wasnt really bothered about me taking them just tried using it as a blackmail bid to get me to stop his maintenance payments! Once my solicitor wrote to his solicitor saying we were taking it to court and that ex would be liable for court costs, he suddenly decided to sign.
Hang in there, hopefuly it will all work out
Tracey.
Ex wasnt really bothered about me taking them just tried using it as a blackmail bid to get me to stop his maintenance payments! Once my solicitor wrote to his solicitor saying we were taking it to court and that ex would be liable for court costs, he suddenly decided to sign.
Hang in there, hopefuly it will all work out
Tracey.
Apr 17th 2007, 9:17 pm
#5
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 15
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
Hi Nigel & Sarah
Not been through it myself but my sister has, it took her about 18 months to go through the court process.
The courts assigned a CAFCASS officer who compiled a report for the courts, they interviewed her, her new husband the children and her ex (quite a long process!).
To cut a long story short they have now been in Oz for 18 months so all the stress was worth it in the end.
If you want any first hand info pm me and I can give you her contact details im sure she would be happy to pass on her experience!!
Good luck and hope it goes well for you
Jayne
Not been through it myself but my sister has, it took her about 18 months to go through the court process.
The courts assigned a CAFCASS officer who compiled a report for the courts, they interviewed her, her new husband the children and her ex (quite a long process!).
To cut a long story short they have now been in Oz for 18 months so all the stress was worth it in the end.
If you want any first hand info pm me and I can give you her contact details im sure she would be happy to pass on her experience!!
Good luck and hope it goes well for you
Jayne
Apr 17th 2007, 9:21 pm
#6
Heading for Perth!
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Posts: 10
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
We feel we need to share our feelings with others, maybe it will make us feel better. My step-daughters father has not seen her for 5 years, the whole thing has been very tough in the past..involving court/access blah blah...
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We got this approved by the court, so he wont be able to change his mind at the last minute either.
Of course, I'm not sure how it all works in England. I live in the US currently, soon to be in Perth with my ex-pat husband.
Apr 17th 2007, 9:26 pm
#7
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: Hillarys, Perth
Posts: 3,973
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
We feel we need to share our feelings with others, maybe it will make us feel better. My step-daughters father has not seen her for 5 years, the whole thing has been very tough in the past..involving court/access blah blah...
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
I would just go through the court process to allow the kids to go to OZ and not worry about the name change. I bet when it came down to it he would prefer the child to leave for OZ rather than lose his surname.
Apr 18th 2007, 7:33 am
#8
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
Posts: 359
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
Thanks for all of your input into my initial thread, thought it was just us with the bad luck, seems lots of you are going through or have been through this painful situation. We have to reside ourselves to the fact that this may take sometime i.e courts, we were hoping to move within a few months..
Hopefully we will get a sypathetic Judge, who will see what my wifes ex is all about, and hope that they will consider the fact that my step daughter, doesnt even know her real father. With any luck my wife will get a job offer in Oz soon, so that should make a difference. Maybe if we drop the name change and just go for leave of the country....there are so many ifs and buts,......maybe the ex, will have a freak accident!!!!!!
We will go....one day....
Thanks for listening
Sarah and Nigel:curse:
Hopefully we will get a sypathetic Judge, who will see what my wifes ex is all about, and hope that they will consider the fact that my step daughter, doesnt even know her real father. With any luck my wife will get a job offer in Oz soon, so that should make a difference. Maybe if we drop the name change and just go for leave of the country....there are so many ifs and buts,......maybe the ex, will have a freak accident!!!!!!
We will go....one day....
Thanks for listening
Sarah and Nigel:curse:
Apr 18th 2007, 7:47 am
#9
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Joined: Jul 2004
Location: South Yorks
Posts: 738
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
(((hugs))) We've been in a similar situation with my ex as well (who my eldest doesn't even remember as we split up when he was only 6 months old). He tried initially and was refused contact (lets just say he's not a very nice person), then left it 7 years (!) and tried again. He was refused because of the time lapse and the fact that my eldest didn't want to even see him.
Sending you lots of positive vibes
Sending you lots of positive vibes
Apr 18th 2007, 8:02 am
#10
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Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Buderim, Qld, Australia
Posts: 1,072
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
Fortunately my ex has agreed to "our" daugther going to Australia. I have been remarried for 5 years now and my daughter started using my new married name (at the start of the school year) before i was even married. I contacted a solicitor who said that altho we cannot change it legally without his consent, we can call her by whatever name we choose. He has been fine with it tho, his mum had been a right witch and refuses to speak to her grand-daughter - her loss. She's missing out on a lovely, livley girls growing up.
Best of luck, whatever happens.
Lynn xx
Best of luck, whatever happens.
Lynn xx
Apr 18th 2007, 8:34 am
#11
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Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 1,217
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
I can't offer any advice but just wanted to wish you lots of luck.
Apr 18th 2007, 9:28 am
#12
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Joined: May 2003
Location: Alloha snack bar
Posts: 24,246
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
We feel we need to share our feelings with others, maybe it will make us feel better. My step-daughters father has not seen her for 5 years, the whole thing has been very tough in the past..involving court/access blah blah...
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
No matter what he's done, he's still her Father and has rights.
Apr 18th 2007, 9:47 am
#13
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
Posts: 359
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
Amazulu,
Each persons situation is different. My step daughter has not seen her father for 5 years, she is now 10 years old. She has not spoken about him all this time. She knows me as her father and Daddy, I now have to explain to a ten year old girl I am not her father.
Yes a father has rights, i agree, but explain why he has a right to walk back into our lives to ruin everything, just to be spiteful...because thats what he does, he is not a nice person...he has past offences i.e GBH/fraud and he is on the sex offenders register......
I will answer...because he has PARENTAL RESPONSIBILTY, my arse...he doesnt act like a parent, and he is sure not responsible.....
Sorry Amazulu, but you have obviously not been in this situation before to pass comment...
Each persons situation is different. My step daughter has not seen her father for 5 years, she is now 10 years old. She has not spoken about him all this time. She knows me as her father and Daddy, I now have to explain to a ten year old girl I am not her father.
Yes a father has rights, i agree, but explain why he has a right to walk back into our lives to ruin everything, just to be spiteful...because thats what he does, he is not a nice person...he has past offences i.e GBH/fraud and he is on the sex offenders register......
I will answer...because he has PARENTAL RESPONSIBILTY, my arse...he doesnt act like a parent, and he is sure not responsible.....
Sorry Amazulu, but you have obviously not been in this situation before to pass comment...
Apr 18th 2007, 9:53 am
#14
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
We feel we need to share our feelings with others, maybe it will make us feel better. My step-daughters father has not seen her for 5 years, the whole thing has been very tough in the past..involving court/access blah blah...
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We decided to emmigrate, so we sought a solicitor to firstly change step-daughters name to mine, then ask for permission to take her out of country permanantly.
Solicitor sends letter to wifes ex's last known address, asking for permission to change name. Solicitor says father have 14 days to reply, then if after, no contact, apply to court, for permission to take child out of country.
Obviously after 5 years, we were really hoping he had left that address, so we could proceed without his permission or (hassle)
FOUR weeks later we are thinking this is going good, then out of the blue, he has contacted his Solicitor, refused name change and would like to reinstate contact.....OMG after all this time....he has never wanted contact, but is the the type of person who loves to mess things up, he always has......
We are really scared he will mess up our plans, once he knows we want to emmigrate.....all plans are now on hold until we find out what to do next...
Anybody else out there been through a similar experience, and can offer help or empathy????????
Cheers
Nigel and Sarah:curse:
We have employed a solicitor who sent the ex a letter asking him to sign a statutory decalaration but he has said NO...The solicitor and letter alone has cost £500.00, we have a meeting with our solicitor and a Barrister tommorow as we now have to go to court.
My solicitor estimates this could cost up to £5.000 If the ex is very stubborn. And by the way he is funded by legal aid and we have a pay and the barrister alone is £500 per hour. It would appear that there are lots of us in this situation and that the sololcitors make a lot of money out of us but alas some of us will have no choice but to go through the courts.
I hope your situation is sorted quickly
Kind Regards
Apr 18th 2007, 9:58 am
#15
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Joined: Jul 2004
Location: South Yorks
Posts: 738
Re: Bloody ex partners!!!!
I don't know your circumstances but he is her father. You are taking his daughter to the other side of the World. Understandably he's not too happy with that. If my Wife was going to take our Son to another Country I would also not be happy and would fight it.
No matter what he's done, he's still her Father and has rights.
No matter what he's done, he's still her Father and has rights.
Sometimes family life can be complicated, not everyone out there is a 'suitable' parent.