Bit the bullet..........
Dec 8th 2005, 6:20 pm
#16
Live the moment
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: In between nappies and feeds
Posts: 2,026
Re: Bit the bullet..........
well done Donna
I know how it feels...my outlaws came over here for a few weeks and I just had to bite my tongue and refrain from choking my MIL and her snide remarks. She is bitter we live in the UK and left Oz. She sadly still has her apron strings tied with my hubby and seems unable to even accept our daughter. (4yr)
She spoils him and get's our daughter nowt!! not even a packet of sweets when she stayed with us...so 12,000 miles is a great distance for us. !!
My healer friend said to me "don't give them power.Rise above it ..........failing that deck em.!!
I know how it feels...my outlaws came over here for a few weeks and I just had to bite my tongue and refrain from choking my MIL and her snide remarks. She is bitter we live in the UK and left Oz. She sadly still has her apron strings tied with my hubby and seems unable to even accept our daughter. (4yr)
She spoils him and get's our daughter nowt!! not even a packet of sweets when she stayed with us...so 12,000 miles is a great distance for us. !!
My healer friend said to me "don't give them power.Rise above it ..........failing that deck em.!!
Dec 8th 2005, 7:32 pm
#17
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,844
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Originally Posted by Pants
well done Donna
I know how it feels...my outlaws came over here for a few weeks and I just had to bite my tongue and refrain from choking my MIL and her snide remarks. She is bitter we live in the UK and left Oz. She sadly still has her apron strings tied with my hubby and seems unable to even accept our daughter. (4yr)
She spoils him and get's our daughter nowt!! not even a packet of sweets when she stayed with us...so 12,000 miles is a great distance for us. !!
My healer friend said to me "don't give them power.Rise above it ..........failing that deck em.!!
I know how it feels...my outlaws came over here for a few weeks and I just had to bite my tongue and refrain from choking my MIL and her snide remarks. She is bitter we live in the UK and left Oz. She sadly still has her apron strings tied with my hubby and seems unable to even accept our daughter. (4yr)
She spoils him and get's our daughter nowt!! not even a packet of sweets when she stayed with us...so 12,000 miles is a great distance for us. !!
My healer friend said to me "don't give them power.Rise above it ..........failing that deck em.!!
Dec 8th 2005, 7:48 pm
#18
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 2,873
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Well done Donna. I don't get on particularly well with my mother, well in fact none of her children do 
and I am still over here, but occassionally I try to do the right thing and phone. I always get *punished* when I speak to her, for something or other I am supposed to have done and I always come off the phone wondering why I put myself through it. I do feel guilty that my youngest does not get to see his grandparents much, but now that he is older (13) I have spoken to him about it and have told him that if he would like to see them more then I am willing to do whatever necessary so that he can keep contact. But even he says he is not bothered about seeing them as he can't stand the way I get treated. They only live 10 miles away and so she plays the guilt trip thing on me all the time about them getting older and everything I should be doing for them, which believe you me I have done in the past, and expects that I should go round there every week, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I lead a very full life with my own family, my older children being grown up and with homes of their own, we see a lot of them, I work almost full time, I have a son who belongs to every school and out of school club imaginable and so I run him round everywhere, and we have our own business which also takes up my time.
Sorry for waffling. Well done to you for managing to put things behind you. I understand what you mean about things never being the same again, that trust has gone, but I'm sure you will feel better seeing your children happy and enjoying the contact with their grandparents.
Have a great Christmas and I hope it manages to stay peaceful in the future.
Anne x
and I am still over here, but occassionally I try to do the right thing and phone. I always get *punished* when I speak to her, for something or other I am supposed to have done and I always come off the phone wondering why I put myself through it. I do feel guilty that my youngest does not get to see his grandparents much, but now that he is older (13) I have spoken to him about it and have told him that if he would like to see them more then I am willing to do whatever necessary so that he can keep contact. But even he says he is not bothered about seeing them as he can't stand the way I get treated. They only live 10 miles away and so she plays the guilt trip thing on me all the time about them getting older and everything I should be doing for them, which believe you me I have done in the past, and expects that I should go round there every week, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I lead a very full life with my own family, my older children being grown up and with homes of their own, we see a lot of them, I work almost full time, I have a son who belongs to every school and out of school club imaginable and so I run him round everywhere, and we have our own business which also takes up my time. Sorry for waffling. Well done to you for managing to put things behind you. I understand what you mean about things never being the same again, that trust has gone, but I'm sure you will feel better seeing your children happy and enjoying the contact with their grandparents.
Have a great Christmas and I hope it manages to stay peaceful in the future.
Anne x
Dec 8th 2005, 7:53 pm
#19
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Noosa Heads
Posts: 3,507
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Originally Posted by madsad
As most of you already know, since leaving the UK things with my inlaws turned very sour on our last week there,which resulted in us not speaking for almost the best part of this year.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit
) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.
The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there .I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.
I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit
) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there
.I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Dec 8th 2005, 7:53 pm
#20
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 12,063
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Originally Posted by madsad
As most of you already know, since leaving the UK things with my inlaws turned very sour on our last week there,which resulted in us not speaking for almost the best part of this year.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit ) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.
The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there .I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.
I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit
) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there
.I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Dec 8th 2005, 8:59 pm
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Redland Bay
Posts: 2,493
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Good for you Donna
Have a great xmas
Hilaryxxx
Have a great xmas
Hilaryxxx
Dec 8th 2005, 10:03 pm
#22
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: Bit the bullet..........
well. t'ss christmas after all
Originally Posted by madsad
As most of you already know, since leaving the UK things with my inlaws turned very sour on our last week there,which resulted in us not speaking for almost the best part of this year.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit ) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.
The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there .I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.
I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit
) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there
.I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Dec 8th 2005, 10:08 pm
#23
Oiiii.. You slaggg!
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Brisbaneshire
Posts: 5,209
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Originally Posted by madsad
As most of you already know, since leaving the UK things with my inlaws turned very sour on our last week there,which resulted in us not speaking for almost the best part of this year.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit ) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.
The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there .I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.
I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit
) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there
.I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
)I just hope to dear God that I don't have to though...
Dec 8th 2005, 10:26 pm
#24
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: pacific pines
Posts: 4,418
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Originally Posted by soapy
well. t'ss christmas after all
You've said all along Soapy,i guess i always knew i would but i had to do it in my own time,god.. sometimes i wish i was thick skinned & just didn't care but hubby & i both are just a pair of softies
Donna.
Dec 8th 2005, 10:29 pm
#25
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Originally Posted by madsad
You've said all along Soapy,i guess i always knew i would but i had to do it in my own time,god.. sometimes i wish i was thick skinned & just didn't care but hubby & i both are just a pair of softies
Donna.
Donna.
ps dont fall for it all, just play along with it for now. another faw oot in aboot 10 years time. but at least the kids can write to them no
Dec 8th 2005, 10:47 pm
#26
Chocoholic
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Betchworth, Surrey.
Posts: 2,899
Re: Bit the bullet..........
This story so echoes my own Donna, although we are still in the UK.
I just hope that I can be brave enough to do the same as you one day. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but mine are all in their teens and old enough to make up their own minds as to whether they want to keep in touch with my inlaws. As it stands at the moment, my youngest, who is 14, doesn't want anything to do with them because of the way they have treated me. The other two still feel some loyalty towards them though. Difficult situation
Again, well done
Julie. x
I just hope that I can be brave enough to do the same as you one day. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but mine are all in their teens and old enough to make up their own minds as to whether they want to keep in touch with my inlaws. As it stands at the moment, my youngest, who is 14, doesn't want anything to do with them because of the way they have treated me. The other two still feel some loyalty towards them though. Difficult situation
Again, well done
Julie. x
Dec 8th 2005, 11:05 pm
#27
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: pacific pines
Posts: 4,418
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Originally Posted by soapy
i know that pal. but when u move round the other side of the world u feel a bit fragile.
ps dont fall for it all, just play along with it for now. another faw oot in aboot 10 years time. but at least the kids can write to them no
ps dont fall for it all, just play along with it for now. another faw oot in aboot 10 years time. but at least the kids can write to them no
I just want to move on & as long as the kids are happy,i am too.Ive never felt as bitter as what i have done throughout this year,just so hurt at what they said/done especially as we were all so close up to our last week there.
I'm not daft & my trust as far as their concerned has been shattered,once bitten twice shy
Ive not received any apology & dont expect too but i feel 100% a better person than they both are.
Donna.
Dec 8th 2005, 11:36 pm
#28
Ok this isn't so bad
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Dundee (Scotland) now Bayside Brisbane
Posts: 4,824
Re: Bit the bullet..........
God Donna, I had a lump in my throat just reading your post.
Ginny
Ginny
Dec 9th 2005, 7:33 am
#29
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Tallebudgera
Posts: 607
Re: Bit the bullet..........
Originally Posted by madsad
As most of you already know, since leaving the UK things with my inlaws turned very sour on our last week there,which resulted in us not speaking for almost the best part of this year.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit ) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.
The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there .I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.
I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Anyway this morning i was handed a parcel from the postie address to the Maxwell children,I knew by the writting it was from (inlaws) grandma & gramps,inside was the kids xmas cards,letters for them all & some money.
I had previously over the last few months(grudgingly i must admit
) sent cards,photos,home dvds & the kids had written them letters but got no reply.The look on the kids faces recieving their xmas card & letters,they were so happy & a little upset as on reading out their letters to them, grandma had said she was so sorry she had'nt replied to any of their letters as she is just so upset about not having the kids here anymore,she couldnt bring herself to write, as each time she tried she just cried.I had a lump in my throat trying to read the letters,why should i feel so bad after what they both done to me? anyway, i phoned their house & grandma answered the phone,i explained the kids had just recieved their cards & wanted to thank them. the kids all spoke to grandma for a while (gramps was in bed asleep)then my daughter passed the phone to me again & my MIL just chatted away as if everything was normal,she thanked me very much for phoning,even sounded genuine,i said i would get the girls to phone their gramps tonight,she just sounded relieved.
I dont know how i feel,i still do feel very hurt & angry over what they done but something made me just say 'fluck it' & I picked the phone up,i know the relationship between my inlaws & myself will never ever be the same again,i accept that now,what more harm can they do?
Im hoping that i/we can all put the s##tty bad feelings behind us & keep some sort of ongoing contact atleast for the kids sakes,this year has been horrible with this situation hanging over us,my hubby has proved to himself he can manage his life without mummy & daddy being there
.I am very proud of him & of the way my 3 kids have coped with the situation too.I think it had to happen but not worth losing contact forever.
Heres to less tears,less upset & a new start in the New Year for us
Donna.
Well done!
well done!
for being the bigger person. I am kind of in the same situ with the in laws they didnt speak to my husband or I for 3 months when they found out we were moving and we are still in Sheffield. They have delayed our application called us naive and even said we are ruining our kids lives. Whatever!!!!!!!!
The feelings are bad but I hope for my husbands sake we do part on good terms because even though he is not that close to them his mum is great with the kids.
Anyway I am sure when are visa gets issued all the upset will start again and even though I know its just them being selfish it still hurts and makes you feel a little bit worse about yourself when your having a bad day.
I know they are only putting there feelings first but I still wish they were supportive and interested in our feelings rather than there own. Anyway thanks for the post it made me realise it s not just me who has in laws from hell.
thanks
Nicola
currently sheffield hopefully soon brisbane
PS: I still have tears running down my cheeks and its the second time I have read your post now.....
Dec 13th 2005, 4:35 pm
#30
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2002
Location: brisbane
Posts: 1,020
Re: Bit the bullet..........
well done Donna
What you did was a kind gesture,but dont get too carried away and relent and have them over for a visit.Ive just done that and its a recipe for disaster believe me 6 weeks of pure misery.
Donna(is it something in the name?)
What you did was a kind gesture,but dont get too carried away and relent and have them over for a visit.Ive just done that and its a recipe for disaster believe me 6 weeks of pure misery.
Donna(is it something in the name?)
