Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Australia
Reload this Page >

Beer! How much is too much?

Beer! How much is too much?

Old Nov 5th 2009, 10:35 pm
  #61  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 1,497
AlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond reputeAlliF has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Hey Spellbound,
Really sorry - it sounds like you are having a shitty time of it.
It's just a thought but does he have any other friends that could maybe pull him aside and have a word in his ear? Sometimes it is less confrontational to come from an objective outsider - and if another bloke tells him he is over the line then maybe he would be more willing to accept it?

My Oh used to drink a lot - he went out every night before I met him and was seriously in debt (ie we had to sell both our properties to dig us out of the financial hole) and couldnt get it into his head that he was drinking too much. Even though it was tempting to nag him and shout at him I went for the more positive suggestions route. Using the carrot rather than the stick. He also was stubborn so it was more a battel of wills if tried to tell him he was wrong.
If he likes sport why not give him a goal to aim for - tell him that you want to get fit and do a fun run and could he help motivate you or something. Challenge him to get fit. Enter him for a charity event. give him something to fill his time up with that doesnt involve drinking.
I told mine that I wanted to lose weight (which was true anyway) and needed his help, we joined the gym and competed with each other to see who performed the best - he had to cut the beer out right then and there - he went down to having low strength beers one night a week. (and we lost a heap of weight - 10 kilos - into the bargain!). now he cant drink as much because having been off the strong stuff his tolerance has come right down! He is a cheap date now!!
Good luck with it.
AlliF is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2009, 10:45 pm
  #62  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Herne Bay, Kent, England.
Posts: 442
MartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud ofMartianTom has much to be proud of
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by ponyrama View Post
My first comment was not directed at you. Apologies if you thought it was. Also in your opinion you may feel like my definition of "alcoholic" is fundamentally wrong but thats your opinion. Dealing with alcohol abuse, alcoholics, and all that goes with it is my job and has been for many years and you will find that the clinical definition of a dependant drinker or "alcoholic" is as stated. Also please do not assume that I do not have any "inside experience" as you put it.

Apologies to the OP for using her thread to defend my opinion in this way - but I feel it necessary on this occasion. Now please lets focus on the issue at hand and not turn this into a debate about who is more "qualified" to provide advice.

The best advice will always be the advice that works in the given situation.
Okay. And my apologies to you for making that assumption. I was basing my remarks on my own experience of years of alcoholism and of being with alcoholics, and being in an alcoholic family. I wouldn't stick to a hard and fast technical definition myself as I think it can easily be misleading, suggesting that the illness takes one form with one set of symptoms.

But anyway, that's by the by. I'm sorry again. Your final comments are absolutely right and are all that matter in this context.

Last edited by MartianTom; Nov 5th 2009 at 11:04 pm.
MartianTom is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2009, 11:14 pm
  #63  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
spartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond reputespartacus has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by MartianTom View Post
Sorry, no - you're absolutely, fundamentally wrong on this. Not all alcoholics drink all day. I didn't. I lived my life perfectly well - went to work, came home, took exercise, ate my meals at the right times. I was still an alcoholic, because of the amount I was drinking and the reasons I was drinking. I could go a few days without a drink. Weeks sometimes. But I was still an alcoholic. At different stages in my alcoholic 'career', I was both a binge drinker and a top-up drinker. Every alcoholic is different in their habits, their consumption levels, etc. You really shouldn't talk about something that you don't understand from the inside.
.
Very good point. A pal of mine back in the UK refused point blank to accept he had an issue with the drink because he had a job and a home (i.e. in his mind all alcoholics are unemployed and homeless) despite the fact that he drank two bottles of wine a night during the week and much more on a weekend. He was a functioning alcoholic.

Last edited by spartacus; Nov 5th 2009 at 11:17 pm.
spartacus is offline  
Old Nov 6th 2009, 7:02 am
  #64  
beach bum
 
ponyrama's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Snowy Mountains, NSW
Posts: 1,995
ponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by MartianTom View Post
Okay. And my apologies to you for making that assumption. I was basing my remarks on my own experience of years of alcoholism and of being with alcoholics, and being in an alcoholic family. I wouldn't stick to a hard and fast technical definition myself as I think it can easily be misleading, suggesting that the illness takes one form with one set of symptoms.

But anyway, that's by the by. I'm sorry again. Your final comments are absolutely right and are all that matter in this context.
Apology accepted mate. No harm done. I appreciate exactly were you are coming from and good on ya for being so open in the interests of helping others.
ponyrama is offline  
Old Nov 6th 2009, 7:51 am
  #65  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Mudgeeraba, Gold Coast
Posts: 182
humpy is just really nicehumpy is just really nicehumpy is just really nicehumpy is just really nicehumpy is just really nicehumpy is just really nicehumpy is just really nicehumpy is just really nicehumpy is just really nice
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Drinking at home here is more of a culture thing than it is back in UK, I hardly drank at home in the UK but over here, I drink more in than out... I worked with a guy a few months ago who said he went through 3-4 cartons of beer a week, said as soon as he got home from week cracked a stubby open. I must admit that after a hard days work here in summer it's refreshing to open a beer but it stops there, I might have one more and it's not every day. Versions of being an alcoholic differ, I must have been classifed as one in my younger days, I went out Thursdays, Saturdays and all day on a Sunday, I drank copious amounts on every night out, god knows how many units I had, I could knock back 20 pints as a young guy, scary s.hit.....
humpy is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 8:45 am
  #66  
Forum Regular
 
shycouple2009's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 61
shycouple2009 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Whats the latest Debbie, hope all is ok with you
shycouple2009 is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 9:05 am
  #67  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Perf
Posts: 560
ianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud ofianhutch1 has much to be proud of
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Must admit that ive noticed myself slipping down a slope with beer since moving to Australia. Before Christmas I noticed I was getting in every night and drinking 4/5/6 long necks of beer and then going out at the weekend and drinking 7/8 pints while out with friends.

Problem is its easily done here, much more in the UK as that refreshing drink when you get in from work is far too appealing.

Ive now decided to not drink at all when at home during the week and just leave it to either drinking when out or only at the weekends and im hoping I lose some weight as well because thats also been piling on lately.

Good luck to the OP, have to say that it sounds like this has been a problem for a while and if he is saying "like it our lump it" then I personally would be out of the door to leave him to it.
ianhutch1 is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 10:11 pm
  #68  
live free or die
 
welshviking's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Valhalla
Posts: 6,967
welshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond reputewelshviking has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by ianhutch1 View Post
Must admit that ive noticed myself slipping down a slope with beer since moving to Australia. Before Christmas I noticed I was getting in every night and drinking 4/5/6 long necks of beer and then going out at the weekend and drinking 7/8 pints while out with friends.

Problem is its easily done here, much more in the UK as that refreshing drink when you get in from work is far too appealing.

Ive now decided to not drink at all when at home during the week and just leave it to either drinking when out or only at the weekends and im hoping I lose some weight as well because thats also been piling on lately.

Good luck to the OP, have to say that it sounds like this has been a problem for a while and if he is saying "like it our lump it" then I personally would be out of the door to leave him to it.
Me too!!!

I didn't have a drink from Saturday til last night 5 days!!!, and only had 1 red wine, Thursday nights started to be over a bottle to myself.

The weight issue is definitely an...issue. Let's keep up the good work
welshviking is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 10:27 pm
  #69  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 546
copa is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by Spellbound View Post
Beer drinking and beer fridges are an iconic part of Aussie blokes.

I'm having a bit of a dispute with my husband at the moment about exactly how much is too much. He suggested that I found out how much other people drink, so I thought that I would ask the good expats.

Men - How much do you drink a week?
Woman - How much does your man drink a week?

My husband is spending on average $100 a week - about 48 bottles plus a couple of bar visits. I think its excessive, he disagrees.
I'm down to about 1 schooner every two weeks.

I used to drink considerably more but just started to lose interest and i got sick of it all...

I got heavily into fitness, lost over 20 kilograms and have never looked back. Life is much better these days.
copa is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 10:27 pm
  #70  
Account Open
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,294
asprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by MartianTom View Post
If he's drinking to fill a hole in his life, to compensate for disappointments, to boost his confidence, to forget his problems, to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible for as long as possible... then I'd say that's definitely alcoholic behaviour.
I have to disagree with you. You have given the modern day, AA definition of what constitutes an alcoholic and wrapped it around a rough approximation of the medical definition (which I've highlighted in red).

Lots of people have a few drinks to compensate for disappointments, boost confidence etc.... that's because life isn't just one happy merry-go-round. People drink at funerals, people drink to get the confidence to ask that pretty brunette out on a date, people drink to forget about their mind numbing day jobs. Life isn't one long celebration of champagne corks and celebrations.

Just because people drink for the above reasons, it doesn't follow that they are not in control.

Last edited by asprilla; Jan 7th 2010 at 10:37 pm. Reason: removed the word "fluffy"
asprilla is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 10:33 pm
  #71  
Account Open
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,294
asprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by kporte View Post
Interesting. I seem to exhibit none of the "signs" apart from drinking far too much.


Is this the quote of the year for 2010?
asprilla is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 10:36 pm
  #72  
Account Open
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,294
asprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by MartianTom View Post

Sorry, no - you're absolutely, fundamentally wrong on this. Not all alcoholics drink all day. I didn't. I lived my life perfectly well - went to work, came home, took exercise, ate my meals at the right times. I was still an alcoholic, because of the amount I was drinking and the reasons I was drinking. I could go a few days without a drink. Weeks sometimes. But I was still an alcoholic. At different stages in my alcoholic 'career', I was both a binge drinker and a top-up drinker. Every alcoholic is different in their habits, their consumption levels, etc. You really shouldn't talk about something that you don't understand from the inside.

In all fairness to Ponyrama, the fundamental issue here is that there are numerous definitions of "alcoholism". Not one definition is the "right" one. I disagree with your definition... but I wouldn't go as far to say "you're wrong MartianTom" because this isn't a matter of right or wrong.
asprilla is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 10:53 pm
  #73  
Account Open
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,294
asprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by MartianTom View Post
I'm Taurus, too!

There's help out there. If you go the Al-Anon route, it may just be the best thing you've ever done. It was for my mother, I know... and she had 42 years of it with dad. She was weak, frightened and completely shattered at the end of it - every bit of confidence she'd ever had had been sapped. Al-Anon gave her tremendous strength. In many ways, I think it saved her life - as AA has saved mine. I just wish my dad could have found AA, too - but he didn't want to stop drinking.

I wish you the very best, love. Stay strong. You'll get through it.

Spellbound,

I was about to reply to one of your earlier posts, and make the suggestion that perhaps there is something else in your partner's life that he is dissatisfied with...perhaps if this "other thing" could be identified and addressed, he might then show the desire to reduce his consumption of alcohol....

But - then I went onto read some of your other posts. It sounds to me like your bloke is not in control of his drinking. If I were in your shoes I'd listen to MartianTom's advice,

best of luck.
asprilla is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2010, 10:59 pm
  #74  
Account Open
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,294
asprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond reputeasprilla has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

Originally Posted by Spellbound View Post
Beer drinking and beer fridges are an iconic part of Aussie blokes.

I'm having a bit of a dispute with my husband at the moment about exactly how much is too much. He suggested that I found out how much other people drink, so I thought that I would ask the good expats.

Men - How much do you drink a week?
Woman - How much does your man drink a week?

My husband is spending on average $100 a week - about 48 bottles plus a couple of bar visits. I think its excessive, he disagrees.
well, I always thought that I consumed roughly twice the recommended intake per week... but when I actually started to record how much I was drinking over a period of approx 14 days I realised it was actually 4 to 5 times as much as the recommended intake.

Like your husband, my wife is the bane of my life, telling me that I should stop drinking so much. So that I can get a bit of peace and quiet, I will be reducing my drinking to approx 32 standard drinks per week for her (that's 1.5 times the limit).

Like kporte, I enjoy drinking regularly, but it isn't something that I need to do. As such I do not consider myself to be an alcoholic.
asprilla is offline  
Old Jan 8th 2010, 3:18 am
  #75  
Wol
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Wol's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 9,397
Wol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond reputeWol has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Beer! How much is too much?

>>I'm having a bit of a dispute with my husband at the moment about exactly how much is too much. He suggested that I found out how much other people drink, so I thought that I would ask the good expats.<<

Many many serious and useful comments on this thread - drinking is certainly a huge problem here in Australia and it is getting worse by the year.

Twenty years ago you would see drunks rolling around in groups - part of the culture, as it were - but they rarely interfered with third parties who happened to be passing. Nowadays acts of random violence seem to be common.

As for the question, everyone is different in their reaction to booze. I have never had a high tolerance but I do like a drink before dinner and occasionally at t'club - so much so that until about six months ago I was drinking just about every day; a couple of Cascade Lights and a glass of wine (*not* the 100ml glass, either!).

Now I don't have a drink Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays just to try and stay clear of the habitual effect.

Must say I prefer Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays......

Last edited by Wol; Jan 8th 2010 at 3:34 am.
Wol is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2023 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.