JoRobertson

we have got the ball rolling with the courts to try and get consent from my ex to take Oliver to Oz. We have to make a detailed statement within 2 weeks to which my ex will reply (and probably oppose!).
Need to include research on schooling, housing, employment opportunities - the lot to get our case across.
I know there has been a few ex-pats in the same predicament. Any one had to do one of these statements? If so, any advice.
I know we're still a long way, but at least we've taken a big step.
thanks for any ideas,
Jo & Graham

4500 Times

I can be of no assistance with your enquiry only to say, that we came here with the sole aim of giving our son a better start in life, and if our lives improved along the way then great.....and we've never looked back.

I know some people on here complain about the education standards here but i can only speak from personal knowledge and we have absolutely no complaints, our son is nearly 9 and he adores school. He is a very bright, happy, out going boy.
Outside of school his life invovles playing cricket, swimming and generally spending most of his time outside, so hes not stuck in front of the goggle box.

So back to your post, all i can say is, your ex should be made to research Australia and the better life his son will have out here, i know its not black and white and theres other things to consider, but all in all if i were in the same boat and i know what i know now i would never stand in the way of my kids having the opportunity to come out here.

Best of Luck and i hope all goes well for you...

JoRobertson

thanks for your reply - you know you've got a point there about making oli's dad some research!?! we've wondered for a while what his argument will be to oppose our move and i guess faced with the facts of the lifestyle he's going to be hard pushed.
great to hear that things have worked out brilliantly for you and yours.
thanks.
Jo & Graham

moneypenny20

If I had a good relationship with my kids and my ex wanted to take them to the other side of the world, all the research in the world would not convince me to let them go. I would most definitely stand in their way.

If I rarely saw the kids through my own mistakes and behaviour I would likely stand in their way because I would obviously be some sort of arsehole.

Many many reasons for not wanting children to leave the country and whilst I love Australia and my girls are very happy with their lives I would be hard pressed to put my hand on my heart and swear that their lives are better and more enriched because we're here. It's almost impossible on a personal level to quantify especially when you (general) haven't experienced the life in both places.

OP, there have been a few on here who have gone through the ringer to bring children from a previous relationship over, do an advanced search, lots of info should come up.

I'll have a look later when my brain spits out some of the names I'm trying to think of but good luck with it all.

DadAgain

Not going to be the 'slamdunk' that you might expect. Longer working hours for less money, expensive (and therefore lower quality) housing, outrageous cost of groceries, questionable public educational standards, climate that holds you hostage inside aircon for 6 months of the year instead of enjoying the gloriously mild northern hemisphere summers and a BITCH of a journey to see the other parent.

Doesnt seem like an obvious 'lifestyle upgrade' to me.


(Note: I'm not saying that you wont find Australian lifestyle better suited to you - but dont assume that it MUST be better and that everyone would see it that way)

I've never had any kind of custody battle so cant comment about teh technical aspects of that - but the wife and I have considered moving to UK so we can offer our kids a better lifestyle.....

elice_in_oz

*start rant*

It would really be helpful if people stopped saying things like the above comment!
NOT ALL OF AUSTRALIA HAS HOT WEATHER ALL YEAR ROUND!!!!
In Sydney, Melbourne and Tassie among others, you can spend the whole year WITHOUT air/con.
Not all of us want to live in Brisbane...
*end rant*


Now, you do need central heating in Melbourne and Tassie in the winter though. And not all houses have it But that's another story

moneypenny20

With respect, there are many many people living in Brisbane and surrounds who either don't have air con or who have it but never use it. Have to agree about irritation over mass generalisations though. The climate is quite variable in a country the size of the UK, let alone here in Aus.

elice_in_oz

You're most likely right, and as I've yet to visit Brisbane properly, I didn't feel qualified to comment on that. Thanks for putting the record straight on that
It just gets on my nerves when people generalise from their own experience and then give the wrong impression...

Australia is larger than Europe and gets as varied a climate as Europe. One wouldn't put UK weather in the same basket as Spanish weather would one?

IndieG

My youngest loves school here (and that got me wondering why this sudden change in her attitude...lol).....so now as far as we're concerned she goes to school for fun/games/a wee bit of learning and she actually does most of her school work at home

DadAgain

Granted - and over generalisation can be irritating - like "improved lifestyle" (Sure some people manage to make it work for them - but there are others who find Australias lifestyle nowhere near the 'relaxed laid-back family-time' frenzy they expect).

I was merely pointing out (with often overstated hyperbole that I dont necessarily subscribe to) that calling a move to Australia for a lifestyle upgrade a 'fact' was somewhat up for interpretation and would be foolish to rely on for any legal argument.

elice_in_oz

And this is what I call a good balanced reply!

I totally agree with you on all the above

"Improved lifestyle" is not a given in Australia, nor is it a fact that it will happen to everybody.

And I would have had the same rant against the over-generalisation of the "Australia is better" argument

HelenTD

I agree with the others, good arguments can be put up on both sides about moving to Australia. Yes, you need to do some research and it would be useful for you to anticipate your ex-husband's arguments against the move. Remember, he and his lawyer, if he has one, can find this site just as easily as you did. Whereabouts are you thinking of living here?

jad n rich

I have to agree with these comments. It must be heartbreaking for a parent to be served with some sort of 'research' that says their kid having a pool or X more hours of sun will be better for them than a parent who loves them. And how does the research get around things that could well be worse for the child here. yep would I fight it

I dont make that comment lightly, the father of my kids is australian and I might have been one of those parents myself unless I had tagged along to OZ, which hasnt magically enriched our lives but has at times disadvantaged them.

The middle son has a mate who was brought out here around 13 with resistance from his dad in the UK, despite the travel arrangements set up, the boy now 16 hasnt seen his dad since, and once finished school plans to move back to the UK anyway.

Awful situation for anyone to be in I guess

Deancm

You obviously haven't lived in Melbourne that long. Above 40 is a bit too hot to go without aircon.

dave99

I disagree, I dont think you should say that 'it would be helpful if people stopped saying things'
Some places are to hot so that you have to hide under air con, but it does depend on the person. I know that I have to hide away for most of the summer in perth. It just gets to hot and I could not live without the air con.
Its all about what the inderviduals feel, so you shouldnt ask people not to comment as their feelings are likely different to yours

Anyway..threads getting side tracked, back to the main topic!