Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
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Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Due to popular demand, Barry the Camp TRA man and Duncan DIMIA have decided to let me do a 'fly on the wall' series about their lives.
No holds barred and it might not be pretty. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Sue and Paul Admin had cleaned the Expat house and tried very hard to get rid of the members for a day so that Barry and Duncan could be filmed and give an account of their lives.
(sounds of shouting and screaming come from upstairs)
'You give me back my feather boa Princess!' Yells an extremely camp voice.
Bursting through the door walking with more 'mince' than a butchers shop, comes Barry the Camp TRA man.
Barry is tall at 6 foot, he has afro type hair that when the need takes him, he smooths it down into a ponytail to make himself look 'slick'. Toned and slim, he looks like one of those gay men that do ballroom dancing.
Barry wears flamboyant clothes, sometimes womens clothes and nearly always the colours pink and purple, usually platform boots and he has a selection of feather boas.
'Sue, Princess wont give me back my feathers' Barry screams dramatically.
Rolling her eyes to the ceiling, Sue tugs the feather boa of Princess shoulders and hands it back to Barry.
Stomping out of the door, Princess messes Barry's hair up in an act of defiance.
'Duncan are you ready?' Barry squeaks to Duncan DIMIA.
Duncan is slightly shorter than Barry at 5ft 10 inches. He is slim and well muscled and takes pride in what he wears. He looks a bit like John Travolta and really does not suit the name of Duncan.
He has tried to call himself 'The D Man' but it doesnt wash with the others, especially as JAJ laughs and takes the piss out of him.
Duncan also has an exceedingly large penis for someone working for DIMIA, which has made him very popular with the girls but not so popular with the other agents.
Although, Barry quite likes him.
Barry is touching up his hair and eyeliner for his interview, getting excited as he sees this could be his 'big break'. He did in fact have a big break in the Summer when he fell over and broke his arm.
Swallowing nervously, Barry sits down and prepares himself for the questions that the 'Daily Dinkum' Newspaper will ask him.
Not wanting to miss out on the action, John Howard sneaks into the kitchen, I say sneak, you couldnt bloody well miss him with his Aussie flag printed on his shorts and a blue string vest, ankle socks and sandles and a chain around his neck with 'JH' on it.
'Sue, tell him he is not in it' Barry yells to Sue who is trying very hard to do a roast beef dinner for her people.
'Let him stay as long as he promises to be good' Sue replies exasperated.
Lifting a tiny John Howard (5ft as he is shrinking), on to his special chair, John swings his legs excited. He always enjoyed the press and the 'Daily Dinkum' was his favourite paper.
'Can I come?' Alan asked form behind the corner
'No!' Shouts Paul who was trying to do his crossword. Staring over the naughty boys from his glasses, two other little heads pop out from behind Alan. JAJ and George.
Muttering under their breath, they retreat back upstairs vowing to beat up Barry purely for showing off.
Handing John Howard a cup of juice with a straw, John noisily slurrped up his juice and made faces at Barry.
The reporter from the Daily Dinkum sits down, really she was gorgeous, tall, slim, long blonde hair and huge breasts. Although John Howard kept the faith to Princess, as he preferred to be lost in hers than anyone elses.
Now here are the interview questions as the reporter asked them.
'Barry - Can you tell me what sort of music you like?' The reporter asks Barry
Barry replies 'I love 'Steps' and I love Erasure' and I love anything gay as well', Barry replied using his 'telephone voice'. We all have a phone voice dont we, where we are politer than we actually are.
Sensing that Barry is indeed using his 'phone voice' John Howard yells from his chair, 'you dont normally speak like that Barry, you speak like a poofter'.
'John shut up!' Sue snaps to John Howard, who is trying to blow orange juice through his straw at Duncan.
'What about you Duncan?' Reporter adds.
Smoothing back his hair with a comb, Duncan replies 'I like anything 50's really'.
'Oh dear, i know where this is going' Thought Sue as she peeled the brussels and carrots.
Sounds of muffled giggles came from outside the door.
Slamming down his paper, Paul storms up to the door and opens it. In falls Princess, Rooksie and BLC roaring their heads off.
'I think we should do this another time' Sue tells the reporter of the Daily Dinkum.
It was agreed that the reporter would come back when the others werent there to disrupt.
LATER ON
(sounds of fighting)
Sue and Paul charge upstairs to the boys' dorm to seperate a fight between Duncan, Barry, Princess, JAJ and George.
'You ruined our big moment!' Duncan shouted.
'You reckon you have the biggest chopper here and you havent' Yelled George to Duncan.
Defending his new friend, Barry goes over to George and pulls his hair. Not to be outdone, George latches on to Barry's hair and they play tug of war with the follicle glands, screaming like women.
John Howard was so excited he had jumped on the top bunk of a bed and was bouncing around like a child in his shorts, string vest and socks and sandles.
Princess was screaming at noone in particular, but thought she should at least try and grope Duncan DIMIA from underneath.
Hanging on to his huge bits, she swung from it like a monkey, yelling for Rooksie to come in and witness the scene.
The whole scene was very messy really, there was hair everywhere and it was believed that some of it was pubic, but Im not sure.
After Sue had split the group up, she went back downstairs and to her complete horror, the journalist from the Daily Dinkum had heard and seen everything!
THE VERY NEXT DAY
Princess, George, John Howard and JAJ had gone out to buy the paper.
Trying to walk on the wall, Princess held Georges hand for balance whilst John Howard tried to look up her very short skirt.
'Holy shit!' JAJ yelled as he thumbed through the Daily Dinkum paper.
You wont believe the headlines or what the journalist printed.
DAILY DINKUM - EXPATS FINEST PAPER
If its not in its out and if its out, its not worth going in anyway!
Major Fight at Expat House!
Mods Lose Control in Battle Sensation
A nasty fight broke out at the Expats House yesterday when members got jealous of the size of a DIMIA mans penis, the Fair Dinkum can sensationally report.
The row started when our journalist tried to interview Barry the Camp TRA man and Duncan DIMIA with the large chopper.
Jealousy and tempers flew when the interviewed was rescheduled due to constant interruptions from Aussie PM John Howard and Professional Princess and her pals.
Barry and Duncan felt as though their big chance was ruined and a terrible fight broke out which involved lots of hair pulling and screaming like a girl.
We spoke to Barry yesterday who said; 'It was awful, I hardly have any hair left and Duncan had his manhood grabbed as well'.
Sue from Expats gave this statement; 'It was high jinx, nothing serious' And when questioned about Princess grabbing Duncans penis, she replied; 'Well, wouldnt you? Its huge'.
The Daily Dinkum can reveal that it is indeed a whopper as our reporter later found out.
Duncan DIMIA was unavailable for comment and its thought that they will not be allowed sprouts for a month, as punishment.
The Daily Dinkum - copyright (c) Our Lawyers are Watching.---------------------------------------------------
Creeping back to the house, the Expat members tried very hard to hide the paper.
'I will have that!' Paul shouts as he snatches the paper from Princess who had stuffed it down her top.
The gang hold their breath as Paul reads it.
After what seems like an age, Paul lifts his head up and stares at Sue.
'Well, you said the right thing Sue, but whats this about Duncans penis?' He demands - more than a little jealous.
After the Brussel sprout affair, they really did try and behave themselves, purely to get them back on the dinner plate.
And when they did get them again, John Howards wind was so bad, Sue confiscated them again.
DUNCAN FINALLY GETS ACCEPTANCE IN THE HOUSE
Im not joking either. It was when John Howard got mumps and had to go in hospital.
It all started when Johnny boy didnt want to be smothered by Princess's cleavage, they all knew something was wrong.
Sue took him to the doctors who diagnosed Mumps.
Taking a swollen faced John Howard to the hospital, Johnny clutched her hand and with his other hand, held his rucksack which contained clean pyjammas, socks, underpants, two string vests, toothbrush, toothpaste and a hair brush which he didnt really need.
'Dont worry, I will look after you' Princess sobbed to the terrified little man looking so cute and tiny in his bed.
They had put him in the childrens ward as they couldnt find a bed big enough for him.
Sitting in his bed, he was surrounded by disney pictures on the wall.
Really he did look a cutie pie though, Princess couldnt keep her hands off him.
Anyway, it was fair to say that John was feeling sorry for himself and refused to eat, even when Princess fed him.
You know who helped him and got him eating again? Bet you cant guess? It was Duncan DIMIA.
Sue, Princess, Paul, Rooksie, Barry, JAJ, Alan, George, BLC and Jim came to the ward to see him.
Expecting to see a sorry wasting away little man, they saw sitting cross legged on his bed and looking at pictures of naked women, John Howard.
Looking as cute and as nice as ever, Duncan DIMIA sat with him, cracking open a beer and even putting the straw in Johns mouth to help him drink it as his face still resembled that of a wombat.
'Well Ill be buggered!' JAJ whispers.
'Too much information' Paul replies.
Glancing round, Duncan says; ' He has had his dinner and you could say he has his appetite back'.
A shocked Paul looks round to everyone and decides that the man with the big chopper is actually OK.
Anyway, he more than proved himself by looking after Johnny Boy, who was soon better and had his head down Princess's top in no time.
In fact, Princess made him a marsupial pouch where John could climb inside and be carried around all the time.
A WEEK LATER - OUTSIDE BOYS HAVING A BEER
The lads were outside drinking VB, the sun was setting, well it never rained in BE town, never, it wasnt the done thing.
George and Bixie were talking about football.
Alan, Barry and Jim were discussing the girls upstairs and who was the fittest.
John Howard was still reading the rude magazines Duncan had bought him.
Duncan was sitting on his own in the 'billy no mates seat'.
Putting down his beer, Bixie walked over to Duncan who puffed his chest out ready for trouble.
'You coming to join us mate?' Bixie grinned to a surprised Duncan.
Looking round expecting to see hostile faces, he saw Alan, George, JAJ, Barry and Jim smiling back at him.
'Yeah why not!' Barry walks over to the other boys.
And within ten minutes, it was as though he had been their friend for ever....
(but he still has a huge penis).
The End...
No holds barred and it might not be pretty. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Sue and Paul Admin had cleaned the Expat house and tried very hard to get rid of the members for a day so that Barry and Duncan could be filmed and give an account of their lives.
(sounds of shouting and screaming come from upstairs)
'You give me back my feather boa Princess!' Yells an extremely camp voice.
Bursting through the door walking with more 'mince' than a butchers shop, comes Barry the Camp TRA man.
Barry is tall at 6 foot, he has afro type hair that when the need takes him, he smooths it down into a ponytail to make himself look 'slick'. Toned and slim, he looks like one of those gay men that do ballroom dancing.
Barry wears flamboyant clothes, sometimes womens clothes and nearly always the colours pink and purple, usually platform boots and he has a selection of feather boas.
'Sue, Princess wont give me back my feathers' Barry screams dramatically.
Rolling her eyes to the ceiling, Sue tugs the feather boa of Princess shoulders and hands it back to Barry.
Stomping out of the door, Princess messes Barry's hair up in an act of defiance.
'Duncan are you ready?' Barry squeaks to Duncan DIMIA.
Duncan is slightly shorter than Barry at 5ft 10 inches. He is slim and well muscled and takes pride in what he wears. He looks a bit like John Travolta and really does not suit the name of Duncan.
He has tried to call himself 'The D Man' but it doesnt wash with the others, especially as JAJ laughs and takes the piss out of him.
Duncan also has an exceedingly large penis for someone working for DIMIA, which has made him very popular with the girls but not so popular with the other agents.
Although, Barry quite likes him.
Barry is touching up his hair and eyeliner for his interview, getting excited as he sees this could be his 'big break'. He did in fact have a big break in the Summer when he fell over and broke his arm.
Swallowing nervously, Barry sits down and prepares himself for the questions that the 'Daily Dinkum' Newspaper will ask him.
Not wanting to miss out on the action, John Howard sneaks into the kitchen, I say sneak, you couldnt bloody well miss him with his Aussie flag printed on his shorts and a blue string vest, ankle socks and sandles and a chain around his neck with 'JH' on it.
'Sue, tell him he is not in it' Barry yells to Sue who is trying very hard to do a roast beef dinner for her people.
'Let him stay as long as he promises to be good' Sue replies exasperated.
Lifting a tiny John Howard (5ft as he is shrinking), on to his special chair, John swings his legs excited. He always enjoyed the press and the 'Daily Dinkum' was his favourite paper.
'Can I come?' Alan asked form behind the corner
'No!' Shouts Paul who was trying to do his crossword. Staring over the naughty boys from his glasses, two other little heads pop out from behind Alan. JAJ and George.
Muttering under their breath, they retreat back upstairs vowing to beat up Barry purely for showing off.
Handing John Howard a cup of juice with a straw, John noisily slurrped up his juice and made faces at Barry.
The reporter from the Daily Dinkum sits down, really she was gorgeous, tall, slim, long blonde hair and huge breasts. Although John Howard kept the faith to Princess, as he preferred to be lost in hers than anyone elses.
Now here are the interview questions as the reporter asked them.
'Barry - Can you tell me what sort of music you like?' The reporter asks Barry
Barry replies 'I love 'Steps' and I love Erasure' and I love anything gay as well', Barry replied using his 'telephone voice'. We all have a phone voice dont we, where we are politer than we actually are.
Sensing that Barry is indeed using his 'phone voice' John Howard yells from his chair, 'you dont normally speak like that Barry, you speak like a poofter'.
'John shut up!' Sue snaps to John Howard, who is trying to blow orange juice through his straw at Duncan.
'What about you Duncan?' Reporter adds.
Smoothing back his hair with a comb, Duncan replies 'I like anything 50's really'.
'Oh dear, i know where this is going' Thought Sue as she peeled the brussels and carrots.
Sounds of muffled giggles came from outside the door.
Slamming down his paper, Paul storms up to the door and opens it. In falls Princess, Rooksie and BLC roaring their heads off.
'I think we should do this another time' Sue tells the reporter of the Daily Dinkum.
It was agreed that the reporter would come back when the others werent there to disrupt.
LATER ON
(sounds of fighting)
Sue and Paul charge upstairs to the boys' dorm to seperate a fight between Duncan, Barry, Princess, JAJ and George.
'You ruined our big moment!' Duncan shouted.
'You reckon you have the biggest chopper here and you havent' Yelled George to Duncan.
Defending his new friend, Barry goes over to George and pulls his hair. Not to be outdone, George latches on to Barry's hair and they play tug of war with the follicle glands, screaming like women.
John Howard was so excited he had jumped on the top bunk of a bed and was bouncing around like a child in his shorts, string vest and socks and sandles.
Princess was screaming at noone in particular, but thought she should at least try and grope Duncan DIMIA from underneath.
Hanging on to his huge bits, she swung from it like a monkey, yelling for Rooksie to come in and witness the scene.
The whole scene was very messy really, there was hair everywhere and it was believed that some of it was pubic, but Im not sure.
After Sue had split the group up, she went back downstairs and to her complete horror, the journalist from the Daily Dinkum had heard and seen everything!
THE VERY NEXT DAY
Princess, George, John Howard and JAJ had gone out to buy the paper.
Trying to walk on the wall, Princess held Georges hand for balance whilst John Howard tried to look up her very short skirt.
'Holy shit!' JAJ yelled as he thumbed through the Daily Dinkum paper.
You wont believe the headlines or what the journalist printed.
DAILY DINKUM - EXPATS FINEST PAPER
If its not in its out and if its out, its not worth going in anyway!
Major Fight at Expat House!
Mods Lose Control in Battle Sensation
A nasty fight broke out at the Expats House yesterday when members got jealous of the size of a DIMIA mans penis, the Fair Dinkum can sensationally report.
The row started when our journalist tried to interview Barry the Camp TRA man and Duncan DIMIA with the large chopper.
Jealousy and tempers flew when the interviewed was rescheduled due to constant interruptions from Aussie PM John Howard and Professional Princess and her pals.
Barry and Duncan felt as though their big chance was ruined and a terrible fight broke out which involved lots of hair pulling and screaming like a girl.
We spoke to Barry yesterday who said; 'It was awful, I hardly have any hair left and Duncan had his manhood grabbed as well'.
Sue from Expats gave this statement; 'It was high jinx, nothing serious' And when questioned about Princess grabbing Duncans penis, she replied; 'Well, wouldnt you? Its huge'.
The Daily Dinkum can reveal that it is indeed a whopper as our reporter later found out.
Duncan DIMIA was unavailable for comment and its thought that they will not be allowed sprouts for a month, as punishment.
The Daily Dinkum - copyright (c) Our Lawyers are Watching.---------------------------------------------------
Creeping back to the house, the Expat members tried very hard to hide the paper.
'I will have that!' Paul shouts as he snatches the paper from Princess who had stuffed it down her top.
The gang hold their breath as Paul reads it.
After what seems like an age, Paul lifts his head up and stares at Sue.
'Well, you said the right thing Sue, but whats this about Duncans penis?' He demands - more than a little jealous.
After the Brussel sprout affair, they really did try and behave themselves, purely to get them back on the dinner plate.
And when they did get them again, John Howards wind was so bad, Sue confiscated them again.
DUNCAN FINALLY GETS ACCEPTANCE IN THE HOUSE
Im not joking either. It was when John Howard got mumps and had to go in hospital.
It all started when Johnny boy didnt want to be smothered by Princess's cleavage, they all knew something was wrong.
Sue took him to the doctors who diagnosed Mumps.
Taking a swollen faced John Howard to the hospital, Johnny clutched her hand and with his other hand, held his rucksack which contained clean pyjammas, socks, underpants, two string vests, toothbrush, toothpaste and a hair brush which he didnt really need.
'Dont worry, I will look after you' Princess sobbed to the terrified little man looking so cute and tiny in his bed.
They had put him in the childrens ward as they couldnt find a bed big enough for him.
Sitting in his bed, he was surrounded by disney pictures on the wall.
Really he did look a cutie pie though, Princess couldnt keep her hands off him.
Anyway, it was fair to say that John was feeling sorry for himself and refused to eat, even when Princess fed him.
You know who helped him and got him eating again? Bet you cant guess? It was Duncan DIMIA.
Sue, Princess, Paul, Rooksie, Barry, JAJ, Alan, George, BLC and Jim came to the ward to see him.
Expecting to see a sorry wasting away little man, they saw sitting cross legged on his bed and looking at pictures of naked women, John Howard.
Looking as cute and as nice as ever, Duncan DIMIA sat with him, cracking open a beer and even putting the straw in Johns mouth to help him drink it as his face still resembled that of a wombat.
'Well Ill be buggered!' JAJ whispers.
'Too much information' Paul replies.
Glancing round, Duncan says; ' He has had his dinner and you could say he has his appetite back'.
A shocked Paul looks round to everyone and decides that the man with the big chopper is actually OK.
Anyway, he more than proved himself by looking after Johnny Boy, who was soon better and had his head down Princess's top in no time.
In fact, Princess made him a marsupial pouch where John could climb inside and be carried around all the time.
A WEEK LATER - OUTSIDE BOYS HAVING A BEER
The lads were outside drinking VB, the sun was setting, well it never rained in BE town, never, it wasnt the done thing.
George and Bixie were talking about football.
Alan, Barry and Jim were discussing the girls upstairs and who was the fittest.
John Howard was still reading the rude magazines Duncan had bought him.
Duncan was sitting on his own in the 'billy no mates seat'.
Putting down his beer, Bixie walked over to Duncan who puffed his chest out ready for trouble.
'You coming to join us mate?' Bixie grinned to a surprised Duncan.
Looking round expecting to see hostile faces, he saw Alan, George, JAJ, Barry and Jim smiling back at him.
'Yeah why not!' Barry walks over to the other boys.
And within ten minutes, it was as though he had been their friend for ever....
(but he still has a huge penis).
The End...
Last edited by Professional Princess; Aug 28th 2005 at 12:34 pm.
#2
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
I didnt put loads of people in it this time.
The next one will have everyone in it.
The next one will have everyone in it.
#3
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
I didnt put loads of people in it this time.
The next one will have everyone in it.
The next one will have everyone in it.
#4
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Bix
Is Duncs penis really bigger than my bone
Im sorry Bixie, but its big enough for some of the expat girls to ride it to work in the morning.
#5
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
(blushes)
Im sorry Bixie, but its big enough for some of the expat girls to ride it to work in the morning.
Im sorry Bixie, but its big enough for some of the expat girls to ride it to work in the morning.
#6
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,439
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
LOL, Hey Sam I HAVE tried to create a pic of Barry & Duncan, but nothing looks right ...
I'll keep at it tho, see if it's THEM when it's done.
I'll keep at it tho, see if it's THEM when it's done.
#7
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Bix
4wd with drag then
Well it fits me, Rooksie and BLC on it no probs.
The others are jealous of it though.
But there will always be room for your bone.
#8
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
You are as mad as a March hare...and VERY funny
I bet there's a few blushes in the Expat back office :scared:
I bet there's a few blushes in the Expat back office :scared:
#9
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Phoenixuk2oz
You are as mad as a March hare...and VERY funny
I bet there's a few blushes in the Expat back office :scared:
I bet there's a few blushes in the Expat back office :scared:
#10
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Bix
The stories may be adorning those office walls.
And I bet John Howard and Amanda Vanstone will be Sams #1 fan :scared: :scared:
#11
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Phoenixuk2oz
Aye..I bet you're not far wrong
And I bet John Howard and Amanda Vanstone will be Sams #1 fan :scared: :scared:
And I bet John Howard and Amanda Vanstone will be Sams #1 fan :scared: :scared:
"Look at this boys"
" I get to drown in cleavage and fart til the cows come home"
#12
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Bix
Reckon he'll take great delight in showing Blair and Bush.
"Look at this boys"
" I get to drown in cleavage and fart til the cows come home"
"Look at this boys"
" I get to drown in cleavage and fart til the cows come home"
Actually, from these accounts, maybe Howard has got his own weapon of mass destruction
Perhaps we should ask his wife
#13
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Phoenixuk2oz
PMSL.....beats talkin about weapons of mass destruction
Actually, from these accounts, maybe Howard has got his own weapon of mass destruction
Perhaps we should ask his wife
Actually, from these accounts, maybe Howard has got his own weapon of mass destruction
Perhaps we should ask his wife
#14
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Originally Posted by Phoenixuk2oz
Perhaps we should ask his wife
#15
Re: Barry TRA and Duncan DIMIA - an insight
Where do you get all your ideas from?? brilliant story yet again, keep them coming
Mandi
Mandi