xxxCoolJessxxx

I am 14 and recently moved to Australia! (well in Jan )
but it doesn't seem anything like i thought it would be or when we came over for christmas. School is really hard and no-one seems to like me. I won't to think things will get better but it really doesn't seem like it.

From Jessi - Lee

jothefw

Hi Jess ... really sorry to hear that sweetheart. At 14 it is definately going to be difficult but you'll settle in slowly - its hard whatever age.

I moved school, from Spain to UK, when I was 12 and to start with I hated it. They didn't talk about the same things, or even do same subjects or sports but slowly I started joining in loads of stuff and made really good friends, people who I still chat to now (and it was a LONG time ago).

I sure they'll be other kids on here same as you ... you're not on your own by any means!

xx

moneypenny20

Sorry to hear you're struggling a bit Jess The way I tried to explain it to my two girls (13 and 11) was imagine how you felt when you moved from Primary to Secondary in the UK. You probably had a few friends to take with you but on the whole, met up with a huge amount of new people and remember how long it took to build up friendships with them. My eldest only hung around with primary mates and it wasn't until the first term of year 8 that she made friends with different people.

It will happen. Have a word with your teacher who takes the register, explain your worries and she/he will try and help. They don't want lonely kids They will also have more idea who is likely to fit in with you.

It does take time, just be nice and if anyone is "nasty" confront them nicely and ask why. My eldest came home relating a tale of how some girls had been horrid, I said to ask them why. The next day she came back having asked the girls in question and was a lot happier because they were very embarrassed about how they had behaved, apologised and hadn't realised they had upset her.

Whereabouts are you?

Baphomet

Hey Jessi

Don't worry!! I went through the same things when I was 15. I moved from South Africa to England. Everything was different for me too. People with weird accents, weather different, TV different. Don't let it get to you. You will make friends as I did and you will love it. It a big step in your life and these things take time. If you do need someone to talk you can always try a teacher or your parents....failing that, talk to us, we are here to help!!!

Andy

thebears

Jessi, There is a young persons section somewhere on this forum - perhaps you might find people your age going through the same situation on there?

But in answer you may be surprised that through out all your life people dont really want to spend time with sad faces - yet people are attracted to people who smile. Try looking for things that you do enjoy and things will fall into place, no need for everything to be perfect straight away. You will make a friends and things will progress from there. But first think about why someone would want to be your friend - you come from an interesting place and from when I grew up down here kids would be looking forward to questioning you on life in the UK.

Kiwi

steandleigh

Hi Jesse-lee,

do you have anything in particular you like to do for fun? Clubs and associations are great ways to meet new people and to get out and 'do stuff'.

With your new schooly mates (or to make them) why don't you ask your parents if you could have either a housewarming party or a sleepover?

Do your mum and dad have new friends? And if they do, do they have teenagers your age you could buddy up with?

Have you considered doing some voluntary work? - the local animal shelter will always need people like you to help with animals waiting for new homes.

Whatever happens, chin up chicken - new friends take a little while to make but once you have them, you'll be set.

Take care and good luck.

iPom

Hi Jessi
You don't mention your mum or dad at all, so I was wondering if they know how you're feeling? You should talk to them if you haven't already. You prob don't want to bother them but every parent needs to know if something's wrong with their kids.

Also, you know, the school you're in might not be working out for you - I don't know from reading what you've put. But discuss your concerns with your mum or dad .. they think they've picked the best area and school for you... but if you're really finding it too hard and can't make friends there, then there is always the possibility of looking for a new school that might be a bit different, or changing classes to find the work that suits you better. There ARE options for you. Speak to your teacher too, sweetie. She or he won't want you to be struggling like this.

Everyone has said that things will improve for you socially and I am positive they will ... But remember you've spent your first 14 years in the UK, so it's hard to just shake that off and adopt a different way of life.
To be honest, all of us adults that come here to start a new life feel that way much of the time too. It's just that we're a bit more practiced at hiding it by cracking on with work or doing something we haven't done before...

You sound quite down and I agree with someone up the thread who said you need to look happy to get friends. Put a smile on your face and try not to look too sad about this all. We're feeling it too - It's hard to make friends when you move to a new place cos everyone has them already. This means we have to try extra hard ourselves... adults too!
Ask your mum or dad how they're doing making friends. It's important to them too, but I bet you'll be surprised by the answer.

This is no easy task, honey, but I think you're going to do just fine. Just give it a little time.

Best of luck sorting out the school issues. Don't be unhappy there. It's rare any of us get it absolutely right first time too ... lots of people here changed jobs until they found the right one. It's the same with school too. Hang in there.

iPOM
x

mand8002

Things do take time, as you say everything is different, from TV to the things people talk about. Maybe try and join some clubs at school so that you are mixing with people that like doing the same sort of things.
I hope things get better for you soon.

jdt3000

Hey Jess,

Stick in there, my 13 year old sister HATED school when she first started (she came in most nights bawling her eyes out because she had no one and missed her mates in UK so much), but now we hardly see her anymore, she's always out with her mates! Very quickly she got in with a crowd of girls who all really get on well.

It will happen, you just have to stick at it and stay positive!

All the best,

JDT

xxxCoolJessxxx

Thanks guys for all your advise!

Andy that is so cool because when i was 6 i moved from south africa to england now to here!!

I have not told my parents on how i feel, i don't want to bother them they seem so happy here and both of them have got brilliant jobs, i feel i might spoil it for when i say i want to move back to the uk. I left friends and family to come here, and everybody is so different they 'bag' (as the aussies say) my accent or i'm to stuck up for them i feel i am in the wrong school.
people want to know all about me, and i don't mind saying it's just if they keep asking the same question over and over again then it gets annoying.

Luv Jessi - Lee

iPom

Jessi... please talk to your mum or dad. They would be devastated if they knew you were so unhappy.
This could be pretty simple for them to fix, but you have to give them the chance to try.