Cheetah7

In the past I have read so many threads on this forum about migration, family, homesickness etc.

So many feelings running high, the usual roller coaster of emotions, family problems and the usual 'should we do it' kind of comments, not to mention the crowd that shout down the ones that dare to say it wasn't what they thought.

Well no-one knows more than me how quickly your life can change.

I have gone through being securely fastened to 'Plan B' and having methodically planned our lives, me studying at University, to being jobless, no Plan B, and depending on Glenny Boy and Georgie Babes, our pathway to Australia as we have well and truly put our eggs in one basket by solely relying on Abdel to get us in. (Yes George and Glen, I'm working on the documents )

I thought that with everything I have experienced the past month, I have learned a few valuable lessons and if I can draw anything from them that could help anyone else, then why not?

Family, telling the family and dealing with family

Many people have problems telling family or the thought of leaving family and some have had family being quite nasty to them for purely wanting to change their lives.

Well, you only have one set of parents in your life and even then, they dont have to be nice parents as some of you will know.

Gently tell them, I say gently because they may really feel as though they are losing you. Don't rub their noses in it, tell them early on as possible to plant the seeds of down under so to speak.

Gather information on Australia, ignorance breeds fear and in their minds, the snakes, spiders and sheer distance can frighten the pants off them. Educate them.

Allow them to talk, answer their questions and tell them that distance doesn't stop you being their son/daughter etc.

And if they don't accept it or start to withdraw from you and put distance between you and them, write a letter. Tell them you love them. Be the proverbial pain in the arse, send them letters, cards, phone them.

Do your bit, don't lose your cool and at the end of the day, you can hold your head up high that any cross words that were said, were not on your part.

If any of you are in the situation that I am in with a parent or loved one being terminal, well what can I say? If John Howard handed me an Aussie visa right now, I would say no. BUT, we have far from given up, we are going through the motions and taking one day at a time.

Only you can make that decision as to how long your loved one has left to live and you must do what is right for you. The answer lies there, its just in yourself and you must find it.

Should we do it?

Loads of you say 'Should we apply for the visa? will we get a better standard of living?

Well a high standard of living is not limited to Australia. Some define it as having everything they need within their own family unit, a comfy home, food on the table and a happy healthy family.

Some think it is sun, sand, sea and beaches and a friendly Aussie accent.

In order to get a good standard of living, you will need to work your nuts off no matter where you live in the world. And to be honest, if you think Australia offers an easy way to obtain this, then you will be in for a shock.

Crime happens everywhere, it just takes the form of geographical location and different accents. Crime in the sun, crime in the rain, it happens. The only difference is, is in the way in which the law of the land deals with it.

Australia law may not have a problem with you bashing an intruder on the head, or it may have harsher penalties for doing so.

If you are running away from the sick people that abuse kids in the UK, then check the law in Australia, because they still have paedophiles, they just deal with them differently. And you may not like the law and how they punish such people. You could end up resenting Australia because it doesn't do things in the way you think it should.

Trust me, it's something worth thinking about.

Think long and hard about standards of living if this is your reason for moving. Check out the legal system, find out what will happen to you when/if things go wrong and make sure that you can cope or manage the Aussie way of doing things. Right down from medical care to the most basic of rights.


Homesickness

The dreaded homesickness - have you read the 'returning to the UK' thread?

It's heartbreaking to see some of those stories. Some have moved out to Australia and have got so wrapped up in the migration process, they have lost sight of what really counts, themselves and their family.

To be honest, home wasn't built in a day. It takes years to forge a decent friendship, months/years to build a house and longer to make it a home.

Basically, anything decent in life takes emotional investment doesn't it?

So after 6 months of living in Australia, the holiday mood has worn off and you want to come 'home'. Except that you are home - or are you?

People can get clinically depressed when taken out of their comfort zone and no amount of reasoning from partners can change their mind.

The homesickness can manifest itself into your children, which can then become the excuse you need to leave - 'the kids were not happy'.

Children mirror their parents emotions sometimes and will soak up the homesickness and pain that their parents are. Unhappiness rubs off on to people like a bad case of crabs - basically its infectious.

'It doesn't feel right' is said by alot of people and that becomes their mantra and remains that way until they have got back to the UK, where like many, will instantly regret it.

Homesickness or culture shock is something that needs treating.
So what on earth is wrong with counselling for culture shock and homesickness?

You have spent vast amounts of money and invested emotions in your migration to Australia and even took professional advice to do just that in the form of an agent, please don't give that up without doing the same.

Don't concentrate on what you have left behind, because that may well no longer be there or at least what you left it.

Find a counsellor, someone independent of your family and someone you can connect with.

They will help you make sense of what you are feeling, teach you to rationalise things and manage your feelings.

You employ all manner of people to do certain things in your life, electricians, builders, teachers to educate your kids, so why not invest someone to help you through the painful process of homesickness.

Then if after some help, if you do want to come home, it will be for the right reasons and not because you may have made a clouded decision.

Should we apply for the visa?

Hell yes!

As I said, your life can change in a second as I well know. Apply for the visa, don't get too caught up in the process though and save time for your loved ones, after all, they were there before the visa weren't they?

None of us know how long we have in life or what it holds in store, so by grabbing chances that come your way, you can make the most of it.

Just go into it with an open mind, do your research and don't give up easily when you get there.

Make the most of what you have, try and get to where you want to be and don't regret a single moment of it.

Good luck to everyone applying and when/if we get ours, I shall let you know!

It's your life, make the most of it, the people in it and the opportunities that it gives you.

Buzzy--Bee

Great post. Karma to you.

Cheers

Buzzy

Breezey

Although I don't know you- it appears you are making a grave mistake.
As an Aussie in the Uk, I confess, I dont really understand why Poms go to Oz. While I really like Oz and was well established there-I think life is better here and the Uk is a much easier place.
But even conceding that for you Oz is better(and again I can't understand why it would be)-Oz is just a place, just another country(as much as I love it)- And to live life in a state of limbo and waiting-as if a place will cure all lifes ills is a mistake(and Oz sure didnt cure all my ills-although I wasnt born on the wrong side of the track and was well-connected and had all sorts of natural advantages)
Like I said, Oz is just a place and a probably a bit harder place to get by that the UK.
Maybe you should look around and see all the things the UK has to offer, I mean, I would be very happy to have EU citizenship, very happy indeed.
So I wouldnt hit yourself if you have to stay behind with a dying parent-as if not going to Oz is the end of the world-believe me, for me-it was just the beginning-the grass always looks green on the other side.

Rich and Angie

Another great post PP.... you certainly know how to ut words together girl.
i sincerely hope that you get what you are working towards.

Sent you karma
Ang x

Juliecabs

Thanks for this Sam.
Very thought provoking.
Hope you Mum is holding out ok.
Julie.

Cheetah7

Just edited the post Julie, read the nasty thread someone had started earlier.

I for one will never mention my mum on here again. Serves me right I suppose for the 'woe is me' type posts.

Anyway, back to the orignal topic, I reckon we should always grab our opportunities.

I would grab John Howards testicles on a plate if he put them in front of me.

Breezey

The worst way to live life is waiting for something to happen.
When I arrived in the UK, I thought it was the promised land (you may laugh)-I thought it had everything Oz didnt.
Years later I still prefer it.
But I realised soon I aint living my life "waiting" , if the immigration process forces me to "wait" to put life on hold-I am turning around and heading back to Oz.
I would rather live a full life in a place I like less than half a life in a place I prefer-and if back in Oz I felt a little bad I would do well to remember all the stories my family told me... how virtually every ancestor thought they discovered paradise on landing in Oz, and considering that virtually every one else in the place thinks its fantastic-that maybe the problem is with me??

soapy©

dont u dare, i love hearing how your mammy is doing. dont let that prick put u off mate.
gee yir mammy a wee hug fae soapy

OzTennis

Go on then!

Good luck with whatever you do.

OzTennis

wargod

I noticed the 'prick' got banned !!

And i agree dont let one gimp stop you (or anyone else) posting!

Cheetah7

Soapy, evidently I have uspet a few people on the forum with my Mum thread. Funny how you think you are amongst friends.

I got so desperate I didnt know what to do and so wrote it on BE, either rightly or wrongly who knows.

So it wasnt a 'woe is me' thread, it was desperation, which we deal with in our own way. Forgive me for depressing you.

Blog gone, and mum updates gone.

The likes of you soapy, bundy (who is fab) and too many to mention, you are wicked people, I love chatting to you.

But isnt it funny with some on this site, they ask for advice, they enjoy some of the posts, but heaven forbid when someone needs help. Cant have it all ways.

If anyone wants to PM me to explain why they think I am a 'woe is me' person, don't bother because I wont reply to you.

I would help any of my 'friends' on this site, whether it be by PM or via a thread and would never judge someone if they posted a 'cry for help' thread.

Anyway soapy, I should start that Christmas story so I can get your white botty up there where it belongs.

bugger, I must contact Packard Bell, Ive only had my laptop for a year and a half and it keeps overheating.

Just call me hot stuff.

Cheetah7

Phew, I have come over all queer.

(fans face and tries to imagine John Howards pants)

I wonder if he changes his boxers daily?

soapy©

doesnt matter who hates thread. others like me love them.
the funny part is, when the people who moan about your threads keep going back to see if you have typed anything for them to moan about
keep it up mate. if noone else reads them, i will

Cheetah7

It wasnt just him though was it?

Now I am going to make myself a cup of tea in my half pint mug. You can never have too much tea in life.

You want tea wargod?

I love my tea.

Tea, white with two sweeteners.

Rich and Angie

Sam, there is such a saying as 'freedom of speech'
you have rights as much as any other person on here, so can I ask you to carry on posting about anything and especially let us know how your mam is doin hun.

Take care and dont let the git get ou down
Ang