Australia desire
 

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stranded on an island off Australia.

While walking along the beach they came across a mound in the sand.

They dug into it and uncovered a lamp.

Well, nothing to lose they thought so gave it a rub.

Lo and behold it worked.....a genie appeared and granted them one wish each.

The blonde went first and wished she was 50% smarter.

It was granted and she was able to lash some logs together and paddle herself to the mainland.

Next was the brunette who wished she could be 75% smarter.

Yes, it was granted and she was able to build a raft but with a sail and off she went to the mainland.

Lastly was the redhead who wished she could be 100% smarter.

Yes, it was granted.

She was turned into a man and walked over the bridge.

:p :D

Re: Australia desire
 

hhmmmm!!

Re: Australia desire
 

Ohhhh hahahaha lol

Re: Australia desire
 

I was right all along..... you are a naughty lion ;)

Re: Australia desire
 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Australia desire
 

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
:p

Re: Australia desire
 

Why We Love Children

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pi$$ed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
innocently.
You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door
until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm
a mother was tucking her son into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his
voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's
sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and,
as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,
"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
"Yes, and my Mom says it's a b!tch to iron."

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into
the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your bvtt?"

7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a b!tch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a b!tch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son
of a b!tch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little
to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried
to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken
Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is
falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class,
"And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy Sh!t ! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the
boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake
The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your
Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

:p :D

Re: Australia desire
 

a little boy and his mum were on town shopping when a funeral procession went past. the little boy said 'mummy, what was that?'
mummy replied 'someone has died and is going to god in heaven'
the little boy ponders for a moment then says 'mummy i think daddy is going to die and go to heaven'
'why?' asks the mum, confused,
'cos earlier i saw daddy laying on top of the aupair shouting "god im coming" '





I thank you :D

Re: Australia desire
 

pmsl!!!!

Re: Australia desire
 

omg they are soooo funny pml

Debs xxx

Re: Australia desire
 

Very good indeed !

Here's another for the 'Why we love kids' section

A teacher is demonstrating to his class the effects of alcohol abuse by dropping an earth worm into first a glass of water and then a glass of alcohol. The demonstration starts by the teacher pouring out a glass of water and placing the glass onto the desk. He then takes an earth worm from a container and drops it into the glass of water. The work wiggles around as normal and is generally quite happy!

The teacher then pours out a glass of alcohol and places it next to the glass of water. "Now children, watch what happens to the worm when I take it out of the water and place it into the alcohol".

The worm wiggles violently for about 20 secs and then dies !

"Do you see the difference children. Can anyone tell me the moral of the story ?" the teacher asks.

A child replies "Yes teacher, if you drink alcohol you don't get worms!"

Phil

Re: Australia desire
 

Click the box.

Re: Australia desire
 

Mooooo

Re: Australia desire
 

Only want equality.

Re: Australia desire
 

Here kitty.