Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 9714214)

Me too. I get all my emotional support from Mr BS, my very best friend from the day we met. With a couple of exceptions, I am reasonably transient when it comes to other friends. Not everyone needs a tight friend network to make immigration (or life in general) work.

Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 9714315)

sorry to interupt the bonding of social misfits....but back on track- good to see the DM had a slow news day and managed to drag the article into a major 'news event' this week

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ning-home.html

Originally Posted by dedicate2 (Post 9713854)

It's very easy to work out if people are going to stay here or move back.

Originally Posted by papilon (Post 9713884)

Wow so Stratford upon Avon, Warrick Castle, Ludlow, The Cotswolds, Bath, Cheltenham, Birmingham has some fine arts, and many others to numerous to mention and all within an easy day trip of Walsall count for nothing????

Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 9714471)

Because we are here in UK for a finite period, we are doing lots of cultural things- castles, houses, National Trust. English Heritage etc (definitely getting castle fatigue).

I am finding it hugely amusing that my English dwelling friends and family are enjoying our tours virtually as they have never been to half the places we have visited.
....it's all because they can go anytime, that they never go!

Originally Posted by Grayling (Post 9707248)

...and something that south africans will never have

Originally Posted by Pomster (Post 9714471)

I am finding it hugely amusing that my English dwelling friends and family are enjoying our tours virtually as they have never been to half the places we have visited.
....it's all because they can go anytime, that they never go!

Originally Posted by Dreamy (Post 9715398)

We had a long weekend in York last month and I'd planned that we'd walk the city walls, do the Railway Museum and Yorvik, perhaps fit in the Castle Museum and the York Dungeons (although we have done the last one before, when we had a German exchange student)... when we got there, YoungestChild moaned that he'd had to do all that with school, did he really have to do it again.. so we went to the seaside, cinema and bowling instead :D

Originally Posted by dedicate2 (Post 9713854)

It's very easy to work out if people are going to stay here or move back. You can work it out in the first 6 months of them arriving.

Unrealistic expectations is one of the first things you pick up on. "Why can't I live in a giant mansion by the harbour with views of the bridge having just sold my 3 bedroom semi in an inner city location in the UK?" "Why is fuel not free?". "Despite the fact that this chicken breast as 4 times the size of a Tescos chicken breast I fail to understand why it is 4 times the cost!".

Second is not having committed emotionally to the move before arriving. This becomes really obvious in the way that expats start talking about family, friends and Tescos. Yes you WILL miss them that much and did you really think that because they speak English here they are the same as you? This is a foreign country after all!

Thirdly is lack of integration skills. You need to make enough close friends to provide emotional support. If you do not have a track record of being able to find and keep very good friendships then it will be a struggle. Add to that the complex and deep cultural differences and it is totally understandable why people struggle.

There is a fourth, more complex indicator as well. Often I find people who come here talk about the move as if they thought moving here would change them. Somehow make them a more relaxed, easy going, happier person. You cannot migrate away from yourself!

The fact is that Australia offers a great deal. In my view more than the UK and so we chose to start our family here. But the debate is ultimately pointless because we all feel the need to justify the decisions we make. Nobody will ever convince me that the North of England (where I am from) is a better place for my children than Melbourne, nor would I expect to convince someone over there otherwise.

And yes, I am very close to my UK based family. My parents are still alive, I am the eldest of 4 children, I have two of my own children who wish they could see their grandparents, and count at least one UK based couple as some of my best friends. But I still believe Melbourne is the right place for us to live.