Cheetah7

Today was a funny day at college it really was.

We have this woman who sits in front of me and I swear to God she has a face like she has sucked a lemon, so I have called her 'Lemon Sucker'.

She came in today and smiled at me and that is when I noticed her.

She has no teeth I mean, really none at all, not even any pegs at the back.

Unable to take my eyes off her, I focus on her mouth in wide eyed amazement and it was like one of those films where you just see the mouth moving.

And she made such a mistake, she wore a brown velour tracksuit top, brown low cut blouse revealing a pair of breasts like spaniels ears, skin tight brown trousers revealing a fat camel toe and brown sandals with brown socks.

She really did look like a giant human turd with no teeth and it was a crime to wear so much brown.

Having this strong urge to tell everyone on BE, I actually bit my hand to stop myself laughing.

Poor love though, she is very sweet if not a brown gummy bear.

Whilst dreaming of Australia and stuff, we get told to go to occupational health where on my arrival, the nurse goes very pale and tells me I am not fit to be there with my leg.

Cutting a long story short, another tutor has decided that 10 weeks wont be enough to heal it, what does she know? its my leg not theirs.

And they are going to see if they can get me 'released' from Uni. And I thought they were up to date on 'special needs and disability stuff'.

But, two other tutors have decided that they want to keep me and fight for me, especially as I showed orgasmic excitement at the prospect of my 3000 word essay next week.

'Oh, I love writing and typing, I could do 3000 words' (especially on BE) I burst out.

'You serious, you like typing and writing? We dont normally see students who like that side of it?' Tutor asks impressed.

So if they can win the fight against the nurse and the tutor woman then I can stay and do the first module and be reviewed in 8 weeks.

I have a private doctor checking me out on Tuesday and having an xray just to satisfy them.

Abdel said I shall have the shortest Uni career in history.

But I had to laugh, as I sat crumpled up, gazing out of the window, I felt someone squeeze my hand.

Turning round, this very stern lady who is in the Nigerian group of ladies, who are absolutely wonderful and have looked after me.

She smoothed the hair out of my face and said 'you have to fight it girl, you don't take it lying down'.

And then added; 'It could be worse, you could have a stomach like her, I mean she look pregnant' and stared blatantly at this tubby girl handing round forms.

Snorting with laughter, I hugged her.

It could be worse, at least I have my own teeth unlike Lemon Sucker.

Ive got to sit an English test with Lemon sucker tomorrow. I must keep my eye on my work and not her teeth.

Really I must.

And I am praying she doesnt look like a piece of turd again because to be frank, I shall wet myself.

Brisben

Harsh but fair.

Your so funny Sam..

Hope all goes well.

PS do you want to write my 8,000 word essay that has to be in next week?


It's on organisational strategy

Anne4Terry

That was great to read Sam So pleased to see you, I've been wondering how you have been getting on this week. Did you get my good luck pm? Hope the lemon sucker isn't so "crap" that she "shits" herself when it comes to exam time

Cheetah7

yes, but you wont have a woman with a face like a howling lemon dressed up as a pile of faecies will you?

As for the camel toe (shudder).

You're jealous arent you Ben, come on baby, admit it.

I cant imagine not having any teeth. I want to take a picture.

With regards to your essay, you dictate it, I will type it.

You young man, can call me hotfingers.

Brisben

DON'T MENTION THE camel toe hotfingers it makes me cringe, I wonder if you ask for a group photot you could get away with it and then post it



I am sooo jealous, can you hook me up with her Sam...I am a good catch

Cheetah7

Well, I have to take each day as it comes, but as I said, Occupational health want me out even though the leg is healing.

I did get your good luck PM, thanks for that.

But as I say, I probably wont be there for long I reckon.

I might start talking loudly to myself and pretend Barry the camp TRA man is really there.

Can you imagine the fun?

I could do the following:

1. Keep the chair next to me vacant and say 'that is for Barry' and then I could lean over and gently explain everything to the invisible Barry.

2. I could order two coffees and say 'thats for Barry'

3. I could ask tutor to repeat everything because 'Barry doesnt understand it'

4. I could put my hands over my mouth and pretend to gag and say 'Sorry guys, Barry has just farted.


Feel free to add to what invisible antics I could get up to in my last week of Uni.

lor

What are you like. can you send her to my course please as all i have to look at is teenage acne!


(Quote) do you want to write my 8,000 word essay that has to be in next week?

Oh and have you any tips on writing a case study (on someone) please!

Cheetah7

Ben, I have to say that a woman with no teeth could have her uses (snort)

Camel toes should be illegal.

Oh yes they should.

I sat next to this smelly woman today on the bus, she smelt of sweat and urine.

I had a whole 40 minutes of that too.

Anne4Terry

BTW, what are you actually studying?

Brisben

You could offer you new friend one of these


http://www.babysmiles.co.uk/

Cheetah7

Listen, you have to have an invisible friend. Mine is Barry the camp TRA man from my stories.

Talk to your invisible friend and ask their opinion and then put your hand up and say 'Barry reckons its this'

Then make sure you attend college with low cut trousers and a camel toe.

Anne4Terry

What's a camel's toe

lor

[QUOTE=Professional Princess]Listen, you have to have an invisible friend. Mine is Barry the camp TRA man from my stories.

That would be ok ,if the topic wasn't mental health ,what if i get sectioned?

Cheetah7

Learning Disability Nursing.

But as I say, looks like im getting kicked out.

Brisben

I can lend you a brown shellsuit