kingofcats2005

Hi

Firstly, I'm not a troll - secondly and more importantly, I have a very important statement for the regulars on this forum....

The reason for my outbursts ( sorry everyone - I was out of order and stressed) I'm stressed because deep down I'm not that keen on going to Oz and my girlfriend is - the pressure is on me and its telling - to all I've offended, then I can honestly say that I'm deeply sorry for any offence that I may have caused you - It's been a very very bad week for me and there's no excuse -
Also, sorry darling Queen, I'll make it up and we need to talk.
Deadmeat - look, been silly and stupid
Pollyanna - same goes ...

Look, can we forgive and forget and move on from this silliness?
Had enough
Dave

Kristine

Hi Dave,
Can understand where you're coming from on the stress front.
I've been offered job out there but bf reluctant (although this is due to his bloomin mum, who has been the bain of our lives for the past three years - she is old indian lady, who is a master in emotional blackmail!!!) Prozac city beckons!!!
I hope you guys sort it out (we're trying a compromise, he's coming out for a year - then we'll take it from there)
Best of luck
Kristine.
ps can you give my home town a wave for me!!!!!

Deadmeat

I'll forgive you Dave, seriously ... I don't hold any grudges, you were good for a laugh

What's your problem with Oz? You're in the right place to have your questions answered.

kingofcats2005

Hi
I just feel that my mates are here, my family is close enough and yet far enough away if you know what I mean! Jobs ok.
No reason to go but I can think of reasons to go too....just confused. Don't see the point in going to the other side of the world to start again but my girlfriend can be so persuasive!!! and she makes sense!
ok I've put on some prat posts but I'm deeply intrigued by those of you who are so focussed on your goals.. I think I wish I was like that but I just can't get there.
By the way still don't like the karma thing as it trivalises the way people feel here - my world is upside down at the moment - I don't want karma merely happiness - hope to find it here or down under
I lost the plot a bit but haven't we all done that some time?
Cheers
Dave

Deadmeat

I'm going because I'm getting married and starting a family ... I don't hold any illusions about how difficult it's going to be but I know I'll have people that care about me close-by.

Sure, there are things about the UK that bother me but I'm sure there will an equal number of things in Oz that annoy (relentless sunshine, no "pubs", no windy lanes, etc, etc).

When it comes down to it home is where the heart is, and that is with my fiancee and family ... so, it's a no-brainer. A year ago I hadn't thought I'd be going anywhere near Oz but life's for living, etc, etc.

Ultimately it sounds like a test of your relationship - if she is forcing you to choose and you REALLY don't want to go then that may not be a good sign.

The problem with immigration comes when people who are unhappy in the UK think that Oz will change their life ... maybe these people need to find answers closer to home first?

Anyway, good luck with the dilemma, and when all is said and done you can always come back, life's too short not to try maybe?

I understand about the karma thing, totally.

Cheers
Matt

sel

I appreciated the banter with you. I questioned my reasons for doing this because of it. Also been driving me insane "should we, shouldn't we". Its a hard decision, you wouldn't be normal if you didnt do at least a little soul searching. I'm thinking what the hell, if it dont work out at least we tried - you only live once. Good luck with your descision.

Sel x

moneypenny20

Can quite see where you are coming from but look at the bigger picture. Firstly travel broadens the mind apparently You might love it. Friends are friends where ever they are. You obviously need to sit down and have a good long chat with "The Queen". Try it, and then after a couple of years, if still not keen, come home. What have you lost? On the other hand, if you are really not wanting to go, she needs to know fast.

Apart from all the emotional baggage this throws up, the only other thing is your job. Is it really that great, or do you love it more than trying a new experience? Loads of questions but fairly light on answers - sorry but you have to do that Good luck.

BTW - you still owe me karma

Jonahs_mummy

Hi Dave

I can appreciate how you & your girlfriend feel. My hubby felt the same way as you, as his family & friends are here, whereas I felt as your girlfriend does as my family are in Australia.

We had many evenings of "heated" discussions, as he really didn't want to go. I had my son June 2003, and my mum paid for us to visit with her for a month on the Gold Coast for me to recuperate (I had a pretty bad time). My husband ended up completely falling in love with the place. He said that he has only ever been to Aus as a tourist before, but to actually live in a house, and act as a member of the community he felt completly different about it. He loved the laid back lifestyle, and how he could de-stress. In the end, he is pushing us more to do the move than ever, and in some ways is much more "full on" about it than me!

Maybe it is time to sit down and have a chat about it all together? You could go for a year, rent out your home in the UK, and just give it a go.

If you find you don't like it - come home. You will lose nothing in trying something new...?

Please don't make a decision based on how you think others will feel either - make your decision based on your true gut feelings...... a decision made like that is probably the right one.

If you or your girlfriend need to talk to anybody about, please feel free to PM me anytime.

aussie73

l was wondering if you have ever been to Oz before. If you have been to OZ and did'nt like the place then l understand, but if you have'nt been before its
possible once you actually get there you could end up liking it as much as your girlfriend.

jimtrish

atleast you can admit it when youve been a prat, thats pretty admirable.
its bloody scarey just talking of going, i can definately see where youre coming from.
If youre so scared by it all, is it the right thing for you? Im scared but at the same time im dead excited, so is the family.
you just have to weigh up the pro's and cons, family being mega far away being the major factor.
im sure it will be ok in the end, look on the bright side, if the girlfriend is so persuasive then you may be going to oz, at the worst, it will be a holiday of a lifetime!

cheers

Trish

ireland

You have proved you are a good person takes a lot to say sorry I hope everything works out ok for you and your girlfriend best wishes ireland

Fremantleraider

Hi,

I haven't been on the end of any arguments (yet) but i have read what you have written on several other posts.

It does take a lot to say Hmmmm i think i am wrong and i am sorry.

Top man!

FremantleRaider

Don

On the other hand Bix is the top cat on these boards and don't you forget it

Pollyana

Apology accepted; I'm not one to bear a grudge. Just remember that the topic on which you were attacking me was a very personal one about which i was already very upset.

Naughty boy, don't do it again

Ushas

You know, I am an Oz citizen and my family are there. I love Oz so much and am really excited to be going home. But I am scared too. I've been here six years and it seems like I've finally settled and worked hard to get where I am and now we're starting all over again. But I am excited and trying to be positive. I always wanted to go home eventually anyway. It's just that after a huge leap to move here I feel like 'Oh god, here I go again!'

Ultimately even though I wanted to go home and am really thrilled we are, it had to be hubby's decision to go. I don't want him to turn around in 5 years and say...what a mistake it was listening to you. I wanted him to go because he wants to. And it was his idea, which is great.

Think long and hard about what you're looking for. As has been said before, you can always try it without giving up everything here.

Good luck with the choices you make.