Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 22
Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
Hi Guys
After a lot of deliberation with my daughter over the last 2 years we have now decided to move when my daughter goes to Uni which unfortunately is another 2 years off (I know I must be mad to wait this long), I have already waited 2 years.
We have already validated our visa and have to be in Perth by 2012.
As anybody left there older child(ren) in the UK whilst moving out to Oz I know it will be hard leaving her here but I don't want to give up my dream of coming and hopefully one day she will join us out there.
But in another few years she will probably be doing her own thing anyway and we would have give up this wonderful opportunity which will never come round again for us...
It is a hard thing to do but as anybody else been in this position please?
Many thanks
Debbie
After a lot of deliberation with my daughter over the last 2 years we have now decided to move when my daughter goes to Uni which unfortunately is another 2 years off (I know I must be mad to wait this long), I have already waited 2 years.
We have already validated our visa and have to be in Perth by 2012.
As anybody left there older child(ren) in the UK whilst moving out to Oz I know it will be hard leaving her here but I don't want to give up my dream of coming and hopefully one day she will join us out there.
But in another few years she will probably be doing her own thing anyway and we would have give up this wonderful opportunity which will never come round again for us...
It is a hard thing to do but as anybody else been in this position please?
Many thanks
Debbie
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 153
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
Hi Debs.
We are in a similar position. We have had our meds and are waiting for our PR visa which should hopefully arrive soon. Being in the health profession, I know my wife and I will get jobs easily and settle. My concern is my son. He's a very bright and talented lad. He takes his GCSE's this summer and is expecting top marks. Our plan is to sell up and leave after them, that way at least it gets him a year or two in school in Oz where he can socialise, meet new friends and work towards exams needed to get him onto university. I would find it so hard for him to stop in the UK and do his A levels whilst we were so far away. It must have been a very hard decision and my thoughts are with you. I don't even know if we are doing the right thing by denying him his chance to take take his A levels here in the UK. It's so hard sometimes
We are in a similar position. We have had our meds and are waiting for our PR visa which should hopefully arrive soon. Being in the health profession, I know my wife and I will get jobs easily and settle. My concern is my son. He's a very bright and talented lad. He takes his GCSE's this summer and is expecting top marks. Our plan is to sell up and leave after them, that way at least it gets him a year or two in school in Oz where he can socialise, meet new friends and work towards exams needed to get him onto university. I would find it so hard for him to stop in the UK and do his A levels whilst we were so far away. It must have been a very hard decision and my thoughts are with you. I don't even know if we are doing the right thing by denying him his chance to take take his A levels here in the UK. It's so hard sometimes
#3
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
Hi folks. For what it's worth, my opinion is that you should at lease make them validate their visas by holidaying with you when you move. At least then, they have their options left open for them if they should change their minds, which is always a possibility when the reality of being in the UK without their family finally hits.
Best of luck, not a nice situation.
Best of luck, not a nice situation.
#4
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 22
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
Hi Jennie
Yes, thankfully she has already done this last October so if hopefully she doesn't settle in the UK she will have the option of coming out to stay with us up until 2012.
Your right it is definately a good idea to get them to do this first and then they have an alternative.
Kind regards
Debbie
Yes, thankfully she has already done this last October so if hopefully she doesn't settle in the UK she will have the option of coming out to stay with us up until 2012.
Your right it is definately a good idea to get them to do this first and then they have an alternative.
Kind regards
Debbie
#5
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
Hi Debs
I am in a similar situation to you, we are hoping to move to Perth in November, unfortunately my 17 year old son is taking his A levels in UK and has another year to go. My parents have kindly assisted with accomodation for him. But i can't help but feel upset and guilty for moving to Aus without him,it is going to be so heartbreaking like you said about your daughter, he will be an adult next year too and will be doing his own thing.
The good thing about it is he is hoping to take 6 months out after his A levels and come out to join us and hopefully he will stay with us then. I was advised to still put him on my visa as he is still a dependant.
Starlite
I am in a similar situation to you, we are hoping to move to Perth in November, unfortunately my 17 year old son is taking his A levels in UK and has another year to go. My parents have kindly assisted with accomodation for him. But i can't help but feel upset and guilty for moving to Aus without him,it is going to be so heartbreaking like you said about your daughter, he will be an adult next year too and will be doing his own thing.
The good thing about it is he is hoping to take 6 months out after his A levels and come out to join us and hopefully he will stay with us then. I was advised to still put him on my visa as he is still a dependant.
Starlite
#6
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
Hey all
I too am feeling concerned about my Son, he is 16 at th emoment and although is coming with us in October he advises that he only plans to stay for year or two max and then coming back to UK. I hope that when there he meets friends (and hopefully Girls) and changes his mind as we dont really have extended family in UK and would be pretty much on his own. The thought of that makes me ill. However he has a girlfriend who is pretty much putting pressure on him about the whole situation. I wish we had waited before we told her as i am sure they would not even still have been together by that point. I know this is a few years away but like Debbie I am already worried about it. Fingers crossed for all parents in this situation it is truly awful.
Angi
I too am feeling concerned about my Son, he is 16 at th emoment and although is coming with us in October he advises that he only plans to stay for year or two max and then coming back to UK. I hope that when there he meets friends (and hopefully Girls) and changes his mind as we dont really have extended family in UK and would be pretty much on his own. The thought of that makes me ill. However he has a girlfriend who is pretty much putting pressure on him about the whole situation. I wish we had waited before we told her as i am sure they would not even still have been together by that point. I know this is a few years away but like Debbie I am already worried about it. Fingers crossed for all parents in this situation it is truly awful.
Angi
#7
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
Yup, been there and done that.
We arrived in July 06 and my son started Uni in Hull at the beginning of September that year. He was 18 when we left, and is now nearly 21 (I feel old )
He is doing really well at Uni. He has grown up so much and is making me really proud. My MIL looks after him during the holidays (or should I say she provides a bed for him to crash on ). He still isn't sure what he wants to do after he has finished Uni, but he will be coming for a year to make up his mind - well that's the plan up to now anyway. He does say that he thinks he will probably move here permanently if/when he can.
It is hard being apart from them, but I had to make the choice between living my life for my grown up son or getting on with mine - just like he intends to do. It sometimes feels like a heartless thing to do, but he knows we love him and are always there for him and he has actually told us that he is glad we didn't stay there just because he didn't want to come as he would have felt guilty.
We arrived in July 06 and my son started Uni in Hull at the beginning of September that year. He was 18 when we left, and is now nearly 21 (I feel old )
He is doing really well at Uni. He has grown up so much and is making me really proud. My MIL looks after him during the holidays (or should I say she provides a bed for him to crash on ). He still isn't sure what he wants to do after he has finished Uni, but he will be coming for a year to make up his mind - well that's the plan up to now anyway. He does say that he thinks he will probably move here permanently if/when he can.
It is hard being apart from them, but I had to make the choice between living my life for my grown up son or getting on with mine - just like he intends to do. It sometimes feels like a heartless thing to do, but he knows we love him and are always there for him and he has actually told us that he is glad we didn't stay there just because he didn't want to come as he would have felt guilty.
Last edited by Wendy; May 4th 2008 at 10:49 pm.
#8
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
hi
we left our daughter in feb she was 16 she turned 17 now (we missed her birthday it was the first time ever she had been away from us on a birthday) we hadnt seen her since before christmas so we were distraught
we have since made up with her and everything was going great i was phoning her every night then one day i went to the internet cafe in my lunch hour and read an email from her telling me that she was pregnant that was the last straw it was all my nightmares come true
yet again we fell out because again she had gone about it the wrong way (i was phoning her every night she could of said something) we soon came to terms with it and now we are back on track she is talking about her and the boyfriend coming out here once she has had the bubs to live
i suppose what im trying to say is its not easy at all to leave them behind but if you dont give it a go you will sit there when your older and probably regret not having a go what have you got to lose if you do at the end of the day when the kids are old enough they all leave you and could travel the world themselves so dont put your life on hold you only come this way once
good luck only you can make the right decision i hope it all goes well
jan xx
we left our daughter in feb she was 16 she turned 17 now (we missed her birthday it was the first time ever she had been away from us on a birthday) we hadnt seen her since before christmas so we were distraught
we have since made up with her and everything was going great i was phoning her every night then one day i went to the internet cafe in my lunch hour and read an email from her telling me that she was pregnant that was the last straw it was all my nightmares come true
yet again we fell out because again she had gone about it the wrong way (i was phoning her every night she could of said something) we soon came to terms with it and now we are back on track she is talking about her and the boyfriend coming out here once she has had the bubs to live
i suppose what im trying to say is its not easy at all to leave them behind but if you dont give it a go you will sit there when your older and probably regret not having a go what have you got to lose if you do at the end of the day when the kids are old enough they all leave you and could travel the world themselves so dont put your life on hold you only come this way once
good luck only you can make the right decision i hope it all goes well
jan xx
#9
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
Thanks for your post Jan - it helps put things in perspective - I really hope things turn out okay for your daughter and you - worse things in the world than a beautiful baby
Best Wishes
Best Wishes
#10
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
hi all,
here's my view as a dad leaving for Oz without my son...
I moved to crawley 2 1/2 years ago from Newcastle to be with my girlfriend who I met on hloiday..my son, Joe, was then 14 and took it all well. For a 14 year old he coped brilliantly with either getting the train down and thro' London or getting on a flight down here....alot better than his mother coped!! All 3 of us went to Oz on holiday this time last year and enjoyed it so much we were talking about moving whilst on holiday. Since coming home Joe decided on a complete change in his life, kicked college and A levels into touch and joined the RAF as an Avionics Engineer!! A little struggle with the adjustments and the discipline and he seems to have matured so so much. His thoughts on the subject of us moving is that now he wants to complete his training in the UK then look to transfer to the Oz air force...My God, 2 1/2 years ago I had Kevin & Perry on the phone to me from Newcastle and now I've got a bloody switched on, keen young man on the phone telling us to make sure we get a big enough house, equipped with surfboards and his name on the car insurance for when he can get enough leave in January to come over with his girlfriend....
Stay here and worry about leaving him 'vs' living our dream and having him mature and make his own choice in time
For us there is only one choice (he made it for us)
here's my view as a dad leaving for Oz without my son...
I moved to crawley 2 1/2 years ago from Newcastle to be with my girlfriend who I met on hloiday..my son, Joe, was then 14 and took it all well. For a 14 year old he coped brilliantly with either getting the train down and thro' London or getting on a flight down here....alot better than his mother coped!! All 3 of us went to Oz on holiday this time last year and enjoyed it so much we were talking about moving whilst on holiday. Since coming home Joe decided on a complete change in his life, kicked college and A levels into touch and joined the RAF as an Avionics Engineer!! A little struggle with the adjustments and the discipline and he seems to have matured so so much. His thoughts on the subject of us moving is that now he wants to complete his training in the UK then look to transfer to the Oz air force...My God, 2 1/2 years ago I had Kevin & Perry on the phone to me from Newcastle and now I've got a bloody switched on, keen young man on the phone telling us to make sure we get a big enough house, equipped with surfboards and his name on the car insurance for when he can get enough leave in January to come over with his girlfriend....
Stay here and worry about leaving him 'vs' living our dream and having him mature and make his own choice in time
For us there is only one choice (he made it for us)
#11
Re: Anybody left Teenager Whilst Moving out to Oz?
It's very tricky at your daughter's age. If she still has a couple of years of school left, she would benefit from doing them in Oz and starting Uni there, but I guess you've gone all through that. I suppose there's no family she could stay with?
We are only in NZ, but have delayed our move for a year because my son is in his last year of high school and doesn't want to move. If he'd had two years to go at high school, I would've put more pressure on him to come because those last two years in the Aussie schooling system are crucial. He now seems to have made up his mind to flat with friends in NZ for a year before starting University. I have loads of worries about this, but he will be nearly 18 when we leave and would be moving away from home even if we stayed.
Of course, you always hope to get them out for a holiday and change their minds.
We are only in NZ, but have delayed our move for a year because my son is in his last year of high school and doesn't want to move. If he'd had two years to go at high school, I would've put more pressure on him to come because those last two years in the Aussie schooling system are crucial. He now seems to have made up his mind to flat with friends in NZ for a year before starting University. I have loads of worries about this, but he will be nearly 18 when we leave and would be moving away from home even if we stayed.
Of course, you always hope to get them out for a holiday and change their minds.