RachRach

Hi I am an almost divorced British mother of 2 who's stuck in Sydney because my British ex prefers the climate and I can't leave with the children without his consent. There are of course worse places to be marooned in..... but knowing that is not that much of a comfort when I'd rather be back in Blighty for family support! It would be good to meet others in a similar position so let me know if you have a similar ball and chain....

binbird

I don't want to leave Sydney but if you want support and some company come along to one of our meets.

B

RachRach

Thanks for the response. I work full-time - does the group ever meet up at weekends?

rabsody

hi rachrach

i am in brisbane in a similar situation to you but my ex is aussie. moved over in '00 and cannot leave the country even tho kids were born in uk and we were married there and lived there for 5 years :-( we split in '01 so been there and worn the tshirt with regard lack of friends, family support etc.

do you want to go back to blighty? if so, it might still be worth seeking legal advice. if i had chosen that path instead of staying here when we first separated i would have had a chance on getting back. now it looks like i have to stay until they are adults (another 10 years). get some legal advice before you sign any custody order etc. the other thing to consider is that men are entitled to 50% custody (at least here in qld anyway, not sure in nsw) so you may be faced with having a week on/week off arrangement, which is what we have.

please feel free to pm me any time you want a vent/shoulder to cry on/advice etc. after a time it gets very wearing, feeling trapped and being unable to even move out of the state or even the suburb as you can't change their school etc (let alone back to uk) ... especially when they are a crap dad to boot and you have to live your life around them

good luck!!

rab xx

RachRach

Hi! Thanks for the reply. I did get some legal advice when we parted 3 years ago and was told it was really unlikely I would win any case and, like you say, if I wanted to improve my chances I should lodge my case as soon as possible. As there was so much going on, I did not have thousands of dollars to waste fighting a losing battle against an ex with wealthy parents and I did not want to destabilise the children even more by immediately removing them from their schools etc, I did not do anything. I would have most success if I could have shown the court that I was a nutcase and unable to cope in Australia but unfortunately I am sane. Its bizarre that Australia has first claim on where 2 British parents live post separation even though one of the children was not born here - the law has not been adapted to reflect that lots of couples go abroad these days for a couple of years, not with a view to changing their permanent base.

As I am due to leave the UK for Sydney today after a 3 week trip I am not too chuffed..... I am leaving cousins, grandparents, friends and the ability to earn almost twice my income behind.... Given how many Brits there are out here I am sure there must be lots of people in this position. I need to do some more posts before I can send a pm but I will when I get back - sounds like we are in the same boat.

R