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Am I making the right decision?

Am I making the right decision?

Old Mar 23rd 2014, 10:50 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

By better for the kids I am referring to the outdoor climate. As a family we love being outdoors but really struggle in winter. Just yesterday we wanted to go for a walk and we got 6 houses down the street and headed home as the wind was so bitter and cut straight through you. My daughter who's just a toddler was crying as her face was freezing (and I had her well wrapped up!). We could have sucked it up and often do and just get on with things when its cold but its not as enjoyable!

In Oz we'd be able to get a bigger house (we live in london so value for money is not good and houses are tiny. When over there we have viewed houses on our budget and know we can get more) Commutes to work will be shorter ( mine is currently 60-80mins each way), kids can play outside most of the year (minus rain days!) and we will be close to the beach. These are my positives and the things that are making me move.

Ive lots of negatives also but i hope these will dissiapte in time! Its my parents that are my biggest struggle.
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 11:07 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by quoll
I'm intrigued - why is it that the leavers always expect their olds to spend their time and money coming to visit them? In my book, if you are the leaver it behoves you to spend your time and money going to visit them! My olds chose the 6/6 route once they hit 65 and that suited them for 15 years but not everyone has the wherewithal or the inclination to do that and it's getting harder to do.
I agree, why should the grandparents pay? We've paid 8 out of 10 times and my parents were happy to do it but it depends on individual circumstances - there's no right or wrong answers here. Both my wife and I are second generation emigrants (both our sets of parents emigrated from one country to another and we in turn have done the same). For us it's the way that life is and we half expect and will accept "the grandparent run" if and when our time comes.
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 11:09 am
  #33  
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by CherryUK
By better for the kids I am referring to the outdoor climate. As a family we love being outdoors but really struggle in winter. Just yesterday we wanted to go for a walk and we got 6 houses down the street and headed home as the wind was so bitter and cut straight through you. My daughter who's just a toddler was crying as her face was freezing (and I had her well wrapped up!). We could have sucked it up and often do and just get on with things when its cold but its not as enjoyable!

In Oz we'd be able to get a bigger house (we live in london so value for money is not good and houses are tiny. When over there we have viewed houses on our budget and know we can get more) Commutes to work will be shorter ( mine is currently 60-80mins each way), kids can play outside most of the year (minus rain days!) and we will be close to the beach. These are my positives and the things that are making me move.

Ive lots of negatives also but i hope these will dissiapte in time! Its my parents that are my biggest struggle.
Where are you thinking of moving to?
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 11:12 am
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by Dorothy
Where are you thinking of moving to?
We will be moving to Brisbane. For those that know it Camp Hill, Greensloopes, Carrendale Coorparoo area so approx 7-8km from city.
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 11:15 am
  #35  
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by paulry
I agree, why should the grandparents pay? We've paid 8 out of 10 times and my parents were happy to do it but it depends on individual circumstances - there's no right or wrong answers here. Both my wife and I are second generation emigrants (both our sets of parents emigrated from one country to another and we in turn have done the same). For us it's the way that life is and we half expect and will accept "the grandparent run" if and when our time comes.
But I can see how it would be a daunting prospect for grandparents to see their children and grandchildren moving to a new country. Its understandable that it would stir a lot of emotions in them. They need and deserve gentle reassurance.
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 2:30 pm
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

All people are saying is don't assume Australia will solve problems.
You could also just as easily move to someone with a 'better' climate within the UK, I don't know where you are but we didn't have the weather you describe yesterday but it is only early spring so I don't expect too much.
Our boys were born and bred in Brisbane and would often not go outside because it was too hot or too humid or both.
We now have a bigger house than we did in Brisbane, the kids are happy, we are happy.
You also don't need to move to the other side of the world for a shorter commute.
You have to go and see if it is what you want, we made the move FROM Brisbane as it was what we wanted and it has paid dividends, FOR US.
Good luck with your move.

Originally Posted by CherryUK
By better for the kids I am referring to the outdoor climate. As a family we love being outdoors but really struggle in winter. Just yesterday we wanted to go for a walk and we got 6 houses down the street and headed home as the wind was so bitter and cut straight through you. My daughter who's just a toddler was crying as her face was freezing (and I had her well wrapped up!). We could have sucked it up and often do and just get on with things when its cold but its not as enjoyable!

In Oz we'd be able to get a bigger house (we live in london so value for money is not good and houses are tiny. When over there we have viewed houses on our budget and know we can get more) Commutes to work will be shorter ( mine is currently 60-80mins each way), kids can play outside most of the year (minus rain days!) and we will be close to the beach. These are my positives and the things that are making me move.

Ive lots of negatives also but i hope these will dissiapte in time! Its my parents that are my biggest struggle.
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 7:54 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by CherryUK
We will be moving to Brisbane. For those that know it Camp Hill, Greensloopes, Carrendale Coorparoo area so approx 7-8km from city.
I wouldn't swap London for Brisbane. Brisbane would drive me up the wall. But I would swap London for Syd or Melb. Having made the move, I still love London, and with the first little one on the way, I think everyday about moving back to London as I believe that offers and opportuniries are just different in a place like Sydney or London. Just my opinion. Mind you, I was at Bronte beach for a quick dip yesterday. There were kids everywhere having a ball. That's free entertainment that can't be beat..

If Mrs Beoz said tomorrow, 'I want to move back to the UK' I wouldn't put up too much of a fight. I would go. Thankfully she has had the opportunity to live in Australia and made some good friends out of it.

Last edited by Beoz; Mar 23rd 2014 at 8:04 pm.
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 9:59 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Its funny. Some of my australian friends who have moved back to Oz miss London so much. For me I find it a tough place to live. I wasn't brought up in a city and so don't see it as a good place to bring up children. Its so busy, impersonal, traffic is horrendous and it takes ages to get anywhere and commute to work is hideous!

I've tried looking elsewhere in uk where we can afford more for our money as previous poster suggested but my husband doesn't have work opportunities up north. And moving further out if london where property is more affordable (although barely) makes an already very long commute ridiculously long!

There's obviously things I live also and I have a happy life. I've come to the decision today to just see Oz as an adventure, we'll do a few years and then decide where we want to be.
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 10:04 pm
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by CherryUK
Its funny. Some of my australian friends who have moved back to Oz miss London so much. For me I find it a tough place to live. I wasn't brought up in a city and so don't see it as a good place to bring up children. Its so busy, impersonal, traffic is horrendous and it takes ages to get anywhere and commute to work is hideous!

I've tried looking elsewhere in uk where we can afford more for our money as previous poster suggested but my husband doesn't have work opportunities up north. And moving further out if london where property is more affordable (although barely) makes an already very long commute ridiculously long!

There's obviously things I live also and I have a happy life. I've come to the decision today to just see Oz as an adventure, we'll do a few years and then decide where we want to be.
You won't go wrong with that attitude. Positive thinking usually breeds positive results.

By the way, Tonbridge as an example is 35 mins to London Bridge.
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Old Mar 23rd 2014, 10:10 pm
  #40  
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by CherryUK
I speak to my parents every day at the moment.
Is that because you need to talk to them, or because they need to talk to you, or just because you got into the habit?

My family was never big on communication - we certainly loved each other, but it would never have occurred to us to phone up every day just to chat. My current wife's family are just the opposite, chatting away for hours on end, but even they don't call every day.

In the years before I left the UK we lived just outside Reading, my brother was in Camberley and our parents in Maidstone - and we would get together as a family not more than once a year. When we emigrated Mum would write letters and we would phone occasionally, but after Mum died Dad (who had never been a letter writer anyway) didn't continue with the letters - it wasn't that he didn't care about us, just that he didn't see the need to tell us what was happening in his life. He was always happy to hear from me when I phoned him.

So whilst I can understand the wrench in leaving family, your experience is very different to mine which is why I asked the opening question.

The other factor is your husband's family. You have talked about the impact of you leaving on one set of grandparents - how about balancing that with the pleasure it will give to the other set of grandparents?
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Old Mar 24th 2014, 6:40 am
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Tonbridge would be ideal for my work! But that would push my husbands commute which is near Heathrow 1,30hrs during rush hour. Possibly more. Realise that was just an example. Our jobs are opposite sides of London which makes an ideal location hard to find. Think if we weren't going to Oz id need to find a new job. I actually wouldn't want to stay near London but my husbands work would require it.

I enjoy speaking to them. We just put FaceTime on and then chat about trivia. My young daughter normally dominates the conversation!
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Old Mar 24th 2014, 7:52 am
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

And yes we will be near our in laws which will be nice for them and my kids. But in a way I think that makes it harder fort mum. Knowing her special relationship with my daughter will most likely be transferred to her other grandma.
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Old Mar 24th 2014, 8:06 am
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by CherryUK
And yes we will be near our in laws which will be nice for them and my kids. But in a way I think that makes it harder fort mum. Knowing her special relationship with my daughter will most likely be transferred to her other grandma.
Your mum might need to have a chat with my old grumpy bastard. Actually my old grumpy bastard doesn't talk much. He does a lot of grunting though.
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Old Mar 24th 2014, 12:39 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Ha ha. My mum is actually wonderful. She is just very family orientated and adores my kids. I have plenty of other family members that have a lot in common with your father in law though!
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Old Mar 24th 2014, 10:15 pm
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Default Re: Am I making the right decision?

Originally Posted by CherryUK

By better for the kids I am referring to the outdoor climate. As a family we love being outdoors but really struggle in winter. Just yesterday we wanted to go for a walk and we got 6 houses down the street and headed home as the wind was so bitter and cut straight through you. My daughter who's just a toddler was crying as her face was freezing (and I had her well wrapped up!). We could have sucked it up and often do and just get on with things when its cold but its not as enjoyable!

I can remember that exact situation with small kids, just write that exact paragraph inserting words like boiling ,searing, burning, sweating......

As for traffic, where are you moving?
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