sunny side up

just visited my aunt and uncle (well, they're 10 and 15 years older than me, so they've always been more friends than aunt and uncle). they've got 2 beautiful little girls (2 and 3) that 'worship' me. i've been there ever since they were born, i walk in the door and get wet, sloppy kisses all over, they're biggest adventure in life so far is spending the night at my house and baking pancakes for breakfast, they ring me during the week just to tell me that they've caught a beautiful butterfly, that kind of stuff - i love em to death.

i will be applying for a visa soon, so i can live with in australia with my love, and so far i've been pretty 'cool' about leaving everyone and everything here in holland.
but on the way home tonight i realised that those 2 little girls are really little girls, and as much as they love me now, in a few years time i'll be nothing more to them than someone that their mum and dad know that lives very far away. ive been crying ever since.

i mean, it going to hurt to leave the rest of the family and all my friends, but at least they will remember me and know who i am and what i am.....

dont get me wrong, this will not be a reason not to pursue my dream of being with the man i love, but should it be hurting this much? am i just being silly or is this something we all go through?

even if i dont get any replies to this message, it feels great to have a forum like this to get things as these of my chest...my friends would probably laugh at me if i told 'em.

tanja

EssexNobby

Hi Tanja,

Your story plucked one of my heart strings.

I wish I had a good answer for you, it must be tough to even think about leaving.

One possibiltiy is to get a webcam set up for your Uncle and Aunt and then one for you. I know that it's not them same as being there but at least you can talk to each other and see each other whenevr you want to without breaklign the bank. Those two little girls can still do things like show you the butterflies that they catch.

Just a thought

Ozzy dog

Wow, it sounds like you have a very precious relationship with these girls. This does not have to end, it just needs to change if you move. As it almost certainly will as time moves on anyway. Just think how excited they will be when they receive emails, letters and post cards from you sharing your adventure with them. What a fantastic holiday you can offer them too.

Just because we all want to follow a dream it doesn't mean that it won't hurt, often as we follow our journey it can mean leaving things behind and letting to to some extent. Being this honest with yourself has got to be good, after all we don't get let off our emotions if we push them down. The depth of your feelings shows how much you love them.

Be strong, but also be true, if you want to cry - cry, everytime you do a small part of you is allowed to heal.

Take care and follow your heart.

Tracey.

wmoore

Tanja, that's not silly at all. A very good friend of mine would walk on water to get to Oz (spent a year there on a WHV some years ago and absolutely loved it) but couldn't bear to leave his niece and nephew, who he sees all the time and adores.
I have a cousin who is 16 (I'm 31) and I will miss him when we go but I've made sure he's set up with broadband / webcam so we can still see each other and chat, etc. I hope that he will come out to visit us in the future so I am still his cool older cousin ().
PS This forum is here so you can get things like this off your chest without people laughing because we're all in the same boat.

sunny side up

thanks everyone,

good to hear that people can relate to 'silly' stuff like this.
i've permitted myself to have a teary-eyed night and poured myself a big glass of baileys.
i'm sure ill feel better in the morning!

thanks!

mlbonner

Hi

I know how you feel. I leave for Brisbane on Monday and amongst the people who I'm leaving behind is my Goddaughter. She was born the week I met my boyf (the reason I'm going to Australia) 4 years ago, which just seems to make it more ironic really Unfortunately (due to geography only) I don't see her very often as it is, but as her Godmother I've always felt very protective of her. She's the most gorgeous little girl as well, made her mum get out her "party dress" out for my visit at the weekend, one of those children who really like to give out cuddles and affection.

There's no easy way, but I'm sure they wont forget you (I haven't seen my goddaughter for 18months as I've been in Australia) and she came running into me all kisses and cuddles when I saw her.

Hopefully the Baileys has helped you, and if not, know that there are hundreds of people in a similar situation feeling just as 'odd' about it all!!

Michelle

jad n rich

Tanja that brought a tear to my eyes, your not overemotional you just care and are being honest. We came to live in Australia in 2000 my littlest son was 3, now my mum and dad to him are people who send postcards and little presents and emails and its not the same that is rubbish. We went over in February as we stood on their doorstep they all rushed forward to hug him, he took one step back because he knows who they are but he no longer KNOWS them.

I cant even begin to describe how I felt at that moment because I have hurt many people by doing this and my children dont have close family because of it.

Theres no easy answer big decisons often mean big sacrifices as well I think you need to go with the realationship tho or you would have big regrets.

steandleigh

Hi Tanja,

give it time, we all go through these feelings and emotions, it just shows that we're all human but not super human!

We go in 6 wks and its all coming around now, kids leaving school and nursery, ste leaving work ( my turn next week ) and each time I get very emotional and have to swallow back my tears.

Its odd because we're 110% going to australia, its just peoples kind wishes that make me teary!

Enjoy life Tanja because you only get one and you'll make the decision which is right for you.

Good luck and best wishes,

Hels

Wow...not much brings a tear to my eye or a lump to my throat, but how much I miss my niece and nephew back in Oz will do it every time. Reading your post bought back all those feelings I felt when I was leaving Oz for my adventure in the UK...Missing first days at school, dance competitions, swimming lessons, birthday parties, footy matches, the cuddles, the "I love you, Aunty Helens"....Leaving was the hardest thing I have had to do.

But, even though I have been away from Oz for about half of their lives, I wouldnt have changed it for anything in the world. I needed to live my own life and do what I needed to do. With technology and the phone we are as close today as we have ever been. If you make the effort, they wont forget you. And if your friend keeps you "alive" in their lives they wont forget you. Yes, I miss all the cuddles....but boy do I make up for them when I get home for a holiday!!!

Soon, I will have all the cuddles and the I Love yous that I can handle....and I cant wait!!

Pollyana

Hi Tanja,
You're not alone, never fear. My sister has three gorgeous kids and I miss them really badly. My nephew is 11 this week and I can't be there. However, we have phones and letters and stuff, which you will have when the little girls are older - even my 3 year old niece chats on the phone though! See if they can get a webcam set up - we haven't managed it yet but are thinking of it.
Its the toughest bit of emigrating - you just have to think of your Aussie hubby and harden your heart - been there, done it, still doing it at times.

Get it off your chest here - this forum is brilliant for that

stefian

I along with others feel the same way. It was tough saying goodbye. I watched my children cry their hearts out , which was tough.
We have been in Brisbane now for about 7 weeks. initially we were really busy, so didn't have time to miss anyone. But now my husband has started work and the children are in school. the holiday feeling has gone and the realisation that this is it, were alone has finally hit me. I am a socialble person and I know I will eventually make friends, but I need mine here now. Were we are living ( been here 3 weeks) it is very quite, so it's very difficult to meet people, when there is noone. i am beginning to talk to mums at school, and my neighbours chat thankfully.

I miss my Thursday night in the pub with my friends and bodyshop parties. I can't see me ever going on a proper night out to clubs ever again. So at the moment I am lonley.

But Australia is beautiful and I love it here, I just wish people I know and love where here to to share it with. I knew this was going to happen, so i'll just ride the storm. it's early days and I know i will be ok soon- perhaps when I get a job things will be better
sorry I'll stop moaning now, but i feel better already.
Going out for a walk now, to see if there is anyone out there. If nothing else it's keeping me fit looking for friends. ha ha

Steph

Steph

natty

I know how you feel. MY husbands sisters children are only 3 and 4. We love them so much and always do fun things with them. We know that once we get to Tasmania, we will see them very rarely and will miss them growing up. On the flip side my sister and two nephews are in Tasmania and I will see them growing up, something I have missed for the last 6 years. I feel responsible as my husband will miss his niece and nephew growing up but I will gain something by seeing my nephews grow up- does that make sense ???
Anyway I expect that if we concentrated on what we would lose or miss, I guess none of us would go.
At least when they get old enough they can come and stay with their aunt and uncle in exciting australia.
When I was little I had an uncle in New Zealand and I remember that he seemed so much more exciting than my other relatives. Its soo normal to have these feelings- At the moment we are fairly early on in our visa application and I must admit that most of the time I live in denial of all the sadness to come and only think of the good things.
As others have said, there are many ways to keep in contact these days. Keep Smiling !!!

Bix da Boss

Are you feeling better this morning - after your baileys last night

I know other people have already said this, but it is true - you are just going thru natural emotions - thats what makes us human

Missing loved ones has to be one of the hardest things people who emigrate have to go through - you would have to be a really hard person not to admit some sorrow.

If I let myself think too deeply about all the family and friends we will leave behind, it becomes a hard thought to bare - but at the end of the day it is a chance of a lifetime that we are not willing to miss - if we did I know we will regret it for the rest of our lives, the pure frustration of not going for it would make us alien towards family and friends seriously!

Hang in there - but dont become an alcoholic in the process

JayneS

I do think it helps knowing others are in the same boat. I have 2 neices and 2 nephews who I have grown up with and am very very close to them. I leave in 4 weeks and have only just managed to tell the little girls. They were looking at me like I was mental as I was crying and trying to get my words out not quite understanding. I am absolutely dreading saying goodbye. When I left UK last time for a year's WHV I was picked up from my sisters house, everybody was at work and school apart from the 2 dogs. I was sobbing saying bye to them!! They were just not interested - naturally! Time flies and people don't change. I keep thinking all the children I know can grow up and come and stay with their Aunt in Sydney and how cool will that be for them! Moving to oz isn't like year's ago when it was a case of you'd never see them again. Cheaper travel, webcams, phone cards. It won't be easy but hopefully we'll all manage
Best of luck to all.

sunny side up

thanks again everyone,

its really good to hear that a lot of you are going through the same thing or have gone through it already!

my big glass of baileys put me to sleep tonight (might have been two big glasses actually - and allthough i felt a bit funny this morning, i'm 'cool as' now....

had my medicals done today....if everyone hurries up i might be able to send the whole lot in next week (if they dont, it'll be another three weeks because the doctor is in summerholidays and wont even get his assistant to send it to me....i wish him three weeks of the most horrible weather, which, judging by the summer we've had so far shouldnt be too much of a problem ;-))

well, anyway, should get going now (still havent got broadband, so im paying for every minute im on this forum - and they are plenty....)

thanks again!!!

tanja